Mighty Afro-Dite

(This post was originally posted by Scott Willison on the Coronation Street Blog in January 2014, reposted with permission.)

Coronation Street is a world of diversity, a world where black live alongside white, gay with straight, Norris with normal humanoids.  It's a world where people love and accept people who look and act in all sorts of peculiar ways - I'll just point at Mary and back away slowly.

Why, then, is only one afro ever allowed on the Street at a time?

The afro is the mightiest of all hairstyles.  It is proud, defiant; it is quite literally headstrong.  Think of the greatest wearers of the afro.  Diana Ross.  Pam Grier.  Lionel Richie.  Michael Jackson.  These people are legends.  It's the Official Hairstyle of Blaxploitation and Motown, an expression of political might and social awareness.  It's damn fine, you dig?

The first person in Corrie to properly wield an afro with pride was Kelly Crabtree.  (Curly's girlfriend Shirley had a semi-fro, but it was the eighties: everyone had big hair then).  Kelly was short of skirt and big of hair, huge, voluminous locks bursting out of the top of her head.  It acted as an early warning system - beware the mighty mouth approaching.  One glimpse of those stacked curls over the back of a Rovers booth and you knew a noisy time was going to follow.

Kelly left, and was replaced with that girl who was a stripper and who bunked up with Lloyd.  She was completely forgettable.  I can't remember her name even as I sit here.  All I can remember is she had a fierce ball of incredible black hair that radiated from her head like a darkened sun.  It was far and away the most interesting thing about her, and I was sorry to see it leave.

Fortunately, Coronation Street's one and only afro comb was passed on to Kirsty.  This was the first hint that an afro could be a useful mood indicator.  If Kirsty was wearing her hair out, letting it bounce round her head in a free and easy fashion, she was cool and relaxed.  If the hair was pulled back however, pinched into a tiny bun, it was a signal that madness was soon to follow.  Tyrone might have saved himself a lot of bother if he'd just hidden her kirby grips: it was probably the stress of keeping that awesome weave under control that drove Kirsty mad in the first place.  Of course, Natalie Gumede then went on to wield her afro to devastating effect on Strictly.  I was beside myself the week that she fell ill and therefore couldn't perform to Proud Mary, perhaps one of the finest hair shaking songs ever written.  And yes, she was robbed by Abbey Clancey.

Now Jenna's here to uphold the afro tradition, though in the grand tradition of ladies who like ladies, her hair is a little shorter and more sensible than her predecessors.  Unfortunately her job in Roy's Rolls means that her mop of black pride is sadly kept under wraps for health and safety grounds; it's none the less always a pleasure when she turns up in the Rovers with it happily bouncing around her ears.  All these women have been strong, gutsy, fierce - well, all of them except that girl who went off with her ex-husband in the end (Sharon?  Susan?  It'll come to me).  I think Jenna should break out the afro more often, and perhaps influence other members of the Street to follow her example.  Just imagine if Gail emerged from the salon with hair a foot high and a foot wide; I'm sure you'd agree, that would be a joy to behold.

Follow the Bluenose CorrieBlog on Twitter and Facebook

Kelly Crabtree's exit - classic Corrie at its best

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog in March, 2010, reposted with permission.)

Last night's (edited - Friday, Jan. 7 in Canada) Coronation Street was remarkable because it reminded me so much of classic Corrie scenes from the past. The scenes with Kelly Crabtree, right at the end when she left the cobbles were fantastic. Tupele Dorgu, who played Kelly, is quoted today in The Sun saying: "I would have liked my last scene to be more dramatic." Dramatic you can keep, this was classic stuff with Kelly's last line worthy of the likes of Elsie Tanner herself.

After being betrayed and sacked by Nick, the one fella she thought she could finally trust, she stormed into the Rovers and gave her workmates what-for. "I'm finished with this job and I'm finished with Weatherfield," and with that she was gone, storming off down the cobbles with Janice in tow. Janice tried to hand over a placky bag of cash that the girls had raised as a whip round but both of them knew there wasn't much more than 56p inside. Kelly didn't have many friends, she'd never been a girl's girl, always on the prowl for other women's men.

And so, as Kelly departed Weatherfield and the constraints of the cobbles, Janice was in tears watching her old mate go. Kelly was in tears too but that didn't stop her striding down the Street in her trademark mini-skirt with one of the best lines in decades. "I'm Kelly Crabtree!" she yelled to the Salford sky. "The one with the legs!" and then she turned the corner and waited for the Weatherfield Wayfarer to whisk her away from it all.