Sunday Comments, May 31

Lines of the week:

• Blanche to Ken "I see the latest whim is still going strong"
• Blanche about Ken going to check the rubbish "A bit of fresh air will do him good"
• Jerry about David "Talk about dead man walking"
• Gail to David "You job, your sickie"
• Deirdre to Ken "If round here is so bloody awful, why did you never have the guts to leave?" "It's always been somebody else holding you back, hasn't it? Not you! Never you!" (i.e. it's you holding you back)
• Deirdre to Eileen "As long as you don't expect intelligent conversation" Eileen "Don't worry. I got Jason for that"
• Tyrone "I suppose i could do with another "sauce" of income!"
• Blanche "You're no Barbara TAylor Bradford" Ken "That's possibly the nicest thing you ever said to me!"
• Ken "I can finally embrace my mediocrity... it was all about me" Deirdre "Yes, Ken. It was. Maybe it always has been" (you finally got that right!)
• Teresa "Kiddies and mold, don't make good bedfellows" Finlay "This bread's moldy" Teresa "It's pennicillin, it's good for you!"
• Becky to Michelle about her singing career "What did you sing?" Michelle "Covers" Becky "Sorry. That's a really bad name for a song"

Ken's now obsessed wiht his novel, the one he started nearly 50 years ago. He's disheveled, he's not shaved for days. I'm also curious to know why Deirdre is vacuuming and tidying up when she should be at work. Ken wasn't best pleased at her efforts but to make matters worse, Blanche read the draft and Deirdre thought he was writing about her! How on earth he could if he'd started the book when he was 21 and hadn't met her for another 20 years but it still reads like it could be about her. Deirdre's very good at putting words in Ken's mouth and he's very good at saying everything except what he means. Blanche is no help either. Ken says it's fiction but he also says it's drawn on real life. He and Deirdre really had it out and she told him a few home truths. He is the only one that has kept him from persuing other things, from making *something* of himself. He told her a few too, he really does think he married beneath himself. But it's not just her. Every one of his wives, it's the same thing. Maybe he marries them so that he has the excuse not to look at himself in the mirror and he can blame someone else.

Deirdre spoke a lot of truths to Eileen. Ken does have regard for her but he still does think he married down no matter how much he'll deny it. And they really don't have a lot in common. Never understood why they were attracted in the first place. Blanche told him a few truths too. Try measuring himself by what he *did* do, Blanche told him and he doesn't see much to look at there either. Warned him that Deirdre could very well pack her bags and he seemed to think on that. Thing is, Blanche told him it wasn't all that good and really, he could see it after that and it all went up in smoke. Literally. He might be ready to settle for what's left with the rest of his life but even then, he makes Deirdre feel like he's settling for her too. ha! Nice call back to history, wh en she said he'd grabbed her like that before and she's not forgotten it. *and* she said it was too bad she didn't have Mike to go to this time. Well at least they've made it up. Notice she talked about a book about a "Salford girl" when techincally, in the realms of the show, they live in Weatherfield which is the Corrie version of real life Salford. I wonder if it was a slip up or not? I've had a nice long rant about Ken over here if you're interested

Now what do we think of Joe, Tina's dad? He and Gail seem to be kind of keen on each other. Let's hope he's not another psycho. Mind you, if David finds out his mother is dating his girlfriend's father, there could be trouble. Daft Darryl slipped up and let the cat out of the bag and both he and David are up the creek. David is dumped but Joe has a cunning plan! Bowling! It didn't work but Gail and Joe had fun at least.

Audrey is obviously of the "But can we still be friends" club. Bill doesn't seem inclined. He wants her back once Ted pointed out the error of his ways but it's no use. Pam is taking over the wedding planning. With wedding magazines she nicked from the medical centre. It sounds like Molly's going to have a job reigning Pam in from all her wild ideas. Molly just wants a basic, quiet wedding. Uh oh, Pam is touching up Tyrone for cash to invest in one of her dodgey deals and is wooing him with the promise of a profit for the wedding fund. Loved her remarks about Billy Three Fingers.

I do think Jason has a point. Sean moved Marcus in all of a sudden but Becky moved in, now Eileen's wondering how long she's staying! Even Ryan thinks Michelle is crossing the mark for chucking Steve out of his own pub. Steve keeps giving Becky looks though, and someone's going to guess. Even Jason caught something though he's not too bright and just thought Steve was going to sack her. All Steve wants is to find a way to get Michelle back. In the meantime, Becky, Sean, Marcus and Michelle had a raucous night out and Michelle met up with an old bandmate and waved him under Steve's nose. But it seems a bit odd that they'd all go for a raucous night out and go to a karaoke bar, don't you think? Anyway, Steve is terrified Becky will get drunk and spill the beans. Then he and Michelle get arguing in front of Amy who fake-cries and what do they do? keep doing it! They all had fun on their night out, though didn't they? But Michelle is not just punishing Steve, she's playing games. She isn't interested in actually, permanently breaking up, she just wants him to pay and pay hard and then she'll allow him back. She better be careful, he might just get fed up with playing her games. You know, i'm rapidly losing any "like" i ever had for her. No i tell a lie. That went out with the Alex storyline. And speaking of whom, it looks like that whole episode has been forgotten. Alex who?

Now, Tony is bullying an old man because he want his house, last holdout to a new development. Mr. Stone. Long time viewers will recognize him as Kenneth Cope who played Jed Stone in the early 1960s and this is the same character!!!! Nice to see him stand up to Tony even if it was a bit of bravado. Tony wasn't done with him though. Teresa is going through Jerry's pills, overloading him like nobody's business.

Ken Flamin' Barlow

Oh i do like a good rant about Ken Barlow!
When i first started watching the show 20 years ago, he was having an affair with Wendy Crozier aka (in Deirdre's words) Miss Piggy. (Not very politically correct was our show. Still isn't sometimes but it's how real people talk!) I wasn't familiar with the history or background and didn't think much more about it, after all, affairs are the stuff of which soaps are made. He didn't seem to be all that interesting an character but then, what did i know?

Some time later i got one of the Daran Little books at the library and read about the storylines and characters of Coronation Street prior to my viewing window. In that, i realized that Ken Barlow is a snob and a real prat. He is portrayed as an educated man, something that most people in that neighbourhood were not. Most people left school, sometimes before getting any qualifications, to go out and work to help support the family. People needed every hand on deck to get by. Higher education was a luxury but Ken's mother wanted nothing but the best for her baby and he got it. Ken was the first university graduate in the Street and everyone knew about it and thought the Barlows were getting a bit too big for their britches.

Ken had big dreams. He was going to Be Somebody. But just as he was going to leave to find out how to do that, his mother died and he felt like he couldn't leave his father alone. His brother had already gone off to be a footballer and try to acheive his fame and fortune that way. Ken also fell in love with the girl next door, sort of. It was the neice of Albert Tatlock, Valerie. He took a teaching job locally and married her. Soon, he had twin babies and mortgage. Although he loved Val, he still thought he was the more intelligent of the two, worth higher aspirations if only he'd had the chance. The chance nearly came once again.

He and Val were going to move to Jamaica but she died tragically. Ken couldn't cope with two little kids so they were packed off to grandparents in Scotland and he drifted. He never really got back on the road to Higher Things.

He always had that arrogant attitude. I'm worth more than all this, he'd scornfully think. But he never got off his posterior and pushed himself. He married two more women, again, both women being, well not stupid, but not highly educated like him either. Meanwhile he'd carry on such intellectual activities as he could, listening to posh radio shows, reading books the size of doorstops and going to the theatre when he could manage it. And having affairs. Let's not forget that. Ken Barlow is the Street's lothario against whom all others must be judged. His son is giving him a good run for his money, though. Ken at least, has never been a bigamist!

Now he's been in a self indulgent funk ever since he went to his university reunion. He wouldn't admit he's been working part time in a cafe, a perfectly respectible job for a pensioner, don't you think? He's been a teacher and a newspaper journalist but no, that wasn't high flying enough to admit to any of his old schoolmates. They all thought he'd have written the Great British Novel by now. Well, it's not as if any of them had achieved extraordinary fame or wealth either but Ken couldn't hold his head up because he never did think he'd achieved anything at all.

He dug up a novel he'd started 40 odd years ago and tried to revise it. From the little bits and pieces we heard of it, it's utter shit. Trite and badly written. But there you go. He became obsessed and self indulgently took over the house, not bothering to shave or shower in his quest to recover his lost ambitions. Deirdre stole a peek at the book and the characters in it were so similar to her that she assumed it was based on her. Never mind it was originally written 20 years before he met her. The man in the book was clearly based on Ken and he admitted it. When she confronted him, he said he was revising it now with all this experience behind him so why wouldn't she continue to think it seemed like her? Ken, for all he considers himself a writer, is terribly bad at communication.

It all blew up this week and ended with a resounding slap across the chops. He raged at Deirdre. He all but out and out accused her of holding him back when really, he knew he was the only one to blame. She pointed that out too. He was the one that never found the guts to go out and find the life he thought he'd have led. That slap and her exit from the house made him realize he'd only himself to blame for all his failed ambitions and *still* he made Deirdre feel like she wasn't good enough for him and he was settling by staying with her.

What. A. Wanker! Every time i think Ken can't sink any lower, he dives into a deeper hole. For someone that thinks he's better than his peer and his family, he sure does a good impression of making them look a hell of a lot more dignified than him! He'll never be happy with what he's got, and he'll always resent that he never reached what he thought was his potential instead of looking at what he has achieved. Being a teacher and a journalist is most definitely something to brag about but he doesn't see it that way. There's no hope for him (and, without spoiling it for the non UK viewers, something that happens in about 7 months from the Canadian timeline make it clear that nothing changes. Ever.)

Sunday Comments, May 24

Lines of the week:

• Natasha "You don't need to speak lingo in a bar, you just raise your glass and they bring you another"
  
• Audrey "I'm getting up to here with all this, you know that" Bill "The whole flamin world knows it"
  
• Tina to Ted "New boyfriend?" Ted "Old faghag i haven't seen for ages" (can they say that on telly???)
  
• Nina to Dev "I'm not going to hold a gun to your head" (no, just be relentless until you give in)
  
• Audrey "I look nothing like Camilla Parker Bowles" (Yes you do)
  
• Bill about Audrey "She led Alf a merry dance for years and he was too grateful to say owt"
  

Well that's me back from my holidays and trying to catchup on everything. The laundry pile is shrinking and the Corrie episodes are getting watched. I'm a bit confused with my timelines, though, trying to watch what i missed, watching this week's shows and having seen some UK Corrie while i was away! So to recap, Ken's in a self indulgent crisis but Blanche thinks he's gone gay (and that has to have been one of the funniest scenes i've ever seen on Corrie!)! Steve and Michelle are off though i can't say i blame her for that. Michelle sure has a nerve tossing Steve out of his own pub, though. And if Steve is staying at Lloyd's, where's Vernon staying? Probably Roy's flat while he's away. Tyrone and Molly got engaged!!! Wasn't that the best proposal ever? Nice juxtaposition against all the other broken couples too. Molly's Auntie Pam is on the scene. I like her! Remember the name "Whispering Jeff". Dev has met a new friend. Not sure i entirely trust him. His wife is an ex Bollywood star and a real man eater from the looks of it. John Stape is back! This can only mean trouble. More trouble too, for Harry and Liz and Clarissa, who isn't going to let Harry go easily from the look of it.

Looks like Clarissa wears the pants, doesn't she? I think she must have used the divorce as a way of winding Harry up but didn't really mean it. Pretty expensive joke. She and Liz are prety well matched in the bitch department stakes. And to tell you the truth, i don't think Clarissa is any more classy than Liz is or isn't. Now, Harry didn't actually go to the solicitor to cancel the divorce. Is he leading her on or is he playing games? I think he wants to play Liz and Clarissa off against each other, the thrill of the chase seems to be attracting him at the moment rather than the thrill of the known.

I really fail to believe that Lloyd and Steve would take their taxi maintenance contract away from Kevin, i really do. Of course Jimmy can afford to do it 20% cheaper, Tony's probably paying the difference. Jimmy is the fella that's married to Jane Danson (Leanne) in real life. Tony's an expert in playing off Sally and Rosie against Kevin, too, knowing how ambitious Sally is for Kevin and for herself. He's now waving fancy garages in her face and Kevin's too stubborn to do anything to better his own situation, as always. I'm on Kevin's side, don't get me wrong. Tony is bullying him and Kevin is happy where he is. The trouble is, Sally has never been happy where she is.

I see Teresa is still in residence and scamming money off Jerry whenever she can but he's still showing her ads for flats and she's resisting with every inch of her being, including grinding up extra pills and putting them in Jerry's food. She figures if he's still sick, she can stay and look after him.

Dev is over the moon and very, very star struck and Nina is definitely playing on that. Sounds to me like she isn't happy about being an "ex" Bollywood star and takes her admirers where she can get them. And doesn't take no for an answer. She pushes her young friend at Dev and then comes on to him in the kitchen. I bet she does that all the time and her husband puts up with it. Is Dev starstruck or just stupid? (Don't answer that). And Dev is kickstarting his life by buying one of Tony's posh flats which makes Amber very happy. No wonder Lisa got tired of Dev, He never shut up about Prem and Nina and he seemed intent on making her bored out of her mind so she'd dump him. Now remember the scene where Nina drives up in the flash car? They had to put sunglasses and a scarf over her head to disguise her for driving. See, the actress herself can't drive so they used the man who owned the car as the driver.

Oh dear. David's getting jealous again and spying on Tina's email. And those who spy (eavesdrop) never hear anything good about themselves and he found that out. He figures she wants him to be spontaneous and so he does it. And where did it get him? Well in a candle lit bath getting very lucky the first time around. He was quite sweet really. You almost forget he's a bit of a psycho.

Audrey didnt' get the fancy French getaway she wanted. She got down in the cheap seats with Janice and then fell out with everyone. Sounds like Audrey's worst nightmare, too bad we didn't get to see the whole weekend! I think it would be quite funny! What did Audrey think was going to happen going away with Janice for the weekend? The crash sure sobered up the partiers. They couldn't have been too far from Manchester when they had the accident. And that was the end of Bill and Audrey. He's going to be bunking in with Kev so the house is going to be filled to the rafters again. She says she didn't really miss Bill at all the day after, she may be exaggerating a bit but really, they weren't that well suited were they? Bill misses her though but wants the real Audrey back. Um, it sounds to me like he always had the real Audrey but she pretended to be something she wasn't for him. And she's still looking for her soul mate. Alfie wasn't it though she loved him and she thinks it's probably too late. Did she have her soulmate and let him go? Doubt it. She'd have known he was her soul mate.