Sunday comments, March 22

Lines of the week:

• Jerry "Jerry? and the Pacemaker? I knew i should have tried that one on Norris and Roy"
  
• Jerry to Teresa "Disappointed i'm laid up not laid out?"
  
• Teresa 'Oh i couldn't sit through a play. It would set me ADHT off. Is there any alcohol in the house?' (well we know where her priorities lie)
  
• Darryl to the kebab "You must be Donner" (and carved eyes and a smile on it)
  
• Norris about the kebab "I find it hard to imagine that gambling through a field of daffodils"
  
• Vernon to Liz "Permission to come aboard" Harry "If i was coming back to you we wouldn't be heading for the kitchen" (pickled onions indeed)
  
• Vernon "Nobody missed me then, apart from my lovely missus" Dev "And she did a good job of hiding it"
  
• Becky "There's nothing wrong with what we're doing" Norris "That' what they said in Sodom and Gomorrah"
  
• Lloyd about Finlay "I'll have to make sure he's mine first" (but you've already handed over money!)
  
• Lloyd "That's the only pub I know with a rack of pool cues and no pool table"
  

All of this with Jerry and nobody's mentioned the older daughter, Jodie. Wonder if she's been told or bothered to call? Well Kayleigh did the right thing anyway. She's not a bad kid really. So she then called her mother in to the rescue. And isn't she a piece of work? Horrible woman and a very excellent character and actress. My God Teresa is probably the worst and i do mean worst mother *ever* in the Street, even worse than Cilla if that's possible. She kept the two kids home from school to spend quality time with her and buggered off. I'm surprised Kayleigh would stay home with the play rehearsals on. So Norris either gets to mind the shop, appealing to Norris' business sense. He made a hatchet job of the kebab!

Now, Finlay is only 7? Bloody big and tall for his age! And Teresa's saying that Lloyd was the result of a one night stand she had with him. It must be true though, she knew too many details about the night in question even before she knew Lloyd had a few bob in his pocket. After hearing that, though, now she's saying that Finlay is his kid. I wouldn't trust her as far as i could throw her, especially as she first found out that Lloyd owned the taxi firm (money!) but they do look enough alike that it could be true. She's got cheek saying it's expensive bringing up a kid. She's not had to spend a penny on hers for years. Well whether his is or not, it's sure knocked Lloyd for six. Teresa is very skillful at talking Lloyd out of a dna test, it's not very likely he'd get hit for 8 years back payments when Jerry is down on paper as the child's legal father, i assume. And if that was the one time she strayed from her marriage, i'll be a monkey's uncle.

So Kayley turned in Kenzie and Chesney gets to take the lead in the school play. He didn't seem too keen once he had the chance even though he was not happy he'd not got it before. I guess the reality of Romeo having to kiss Juliet (Kayleigh) scared him! In the end, Kayleigh sort of pecked him first. And ooh, Sophie's kissed a boy behind the bike shed! Aw it's perked Chesney right up hasn't it? Bless! Fiz shouldn't be so worried, there's not much she can do about it. He's got to have that first crush no matter how it comes out.

How come the teenagers weren't wearing school uniforms? Then when Kayleigh asked Ches to go to the chippy they took off in the direction of Jerry's only it had been closed early and they would have had to see Mel and Darryl walk past them. David is home already! Well, tomorrow anyway. (Monday or Tuesday)

Michelle and Leanne are awfully pally all of a sudden. And Dan and Steve are rivals all of a sudden? Also, when they were all playing darts, i seriously doubt any pub would have the light over the dartboard hanging down that low! And a race? So much for the men not cheating, the women were just as bad feeding them status updates. Vernon's back and not before time. Timing is everything and he walked in just a hair before Harry's lips met Liz's. I never thought i'd feel sorry for Vernon but Liz really is stringing him along. The revised portrait even had Vernon looking at it in horrified fascination, and wondering why she had to do all the "improvements".

Did we really need to know about Becky and Jason's midnight chocolate feast? lol! Loved Sean and Eileen winding Jason up about his tongue changing colour. He believed it too. I wonder if he's been unbanned from the cafe yet? Becky's made it to the fourth date but the more lovey dovey she gets with Jason the more he seems to be cooling off, especially when she started talking about babies. Mention them and he really ran out that door like a blur even though he's still showing signs of missing Sarah and Beth, or because of it. Becky got more and more over the top.

How did Darryl get a black eye? Did i miss something? There's no way Norris would ever have been so careless with a pully thingy. Actually, it was Maggie Jones as Blanche that was supposed to do that in that scene but she was ill. It was only there to ramp up the pi$$ing contest between Steve and Monkey Boy. scratching a car is hardly a valid retaliation for losing at darts. And wait, now, Rita was in the salon getting her hair done and outside, we saw Norris trailing around delivering papers and avoiding Steve and Dan's argument over the scratch. Who's minding the shop?