Verbage: The language of Coronation Street

Over on Corrie Canuck, there's a discussion about the phrase "Neither use nor ornament" to describe someone that's a bit of a waste of space. I also wrote about this over on Corrieblog awhile back. One of the things i enjoy about Corrie and other British movies and tv shows is the language and expressions that are so much more colourful than ours here in Canada. This expression is one of the ones i've heard on Corrie over the years but isn't really one i've picked up and made my own though i should do. Some expressions really are incomprehensible such as "I feel like piffy on a rock bun" (feeling very out of place) or "Well i'll go to the foot of our stairs!" (somewhat akin to our "well you could have knocked me over with a feather!" which shows surprise)

One of the ones i love and use is "gobsmacked" which is just so much more colourful and appropriate than "shocked, incredulous, taken aback" or anything like that. I often use words like pillock, wanker, pratt and plonker and it's funny to see reactions on faces thinking "um, is that a bad thing?"

Some expressions you don't hear much as you used to on Corrie, such as "fur coat and no knickers", often used to describe Elsie Tanner by Ena Sharples. Another one i love is "all mouth and no trousers". I think Maud used this about Reg Holdsworth once and it's *so* exactly perfect for men like Reg. All bark and no bite, we'd say, or ... "he's got his head up his own arse" lol!

Because i watch so much British stuff, i pick up expressions and use them myself, though not all of them. It doesn't help that my fiance is from Salford and of course i have a lot of friends from various parts of the U.K. Most of my friends watch Corrie and so they use the expressions too. "What are you doing today?" "Nowt." I even catch myself thinking in "accent" sometimes! I think i need help! Or maybe....

I'll just get me coat shall i?

Sunday Comments, January 27

So I see that corrie.net seems to be down altogether today. Maybe it's part in part what they're doing to try to fix the guestbook, i have no idea. I"m guessing it's related to whatever they've been doing.

Lines of the week:

• Claire "Nice to have a neighbour takes care of his garden"
  
• Gail to Eileen "you're running away because you know you're not right and what's more you know it"
  
• Blanche "Whoever said other people are hell was spot on" Ken "Sartre" (John Paul, philosopher) Blanche "You mean SINatra" (Frank. Singer)
  
• Liz "I'm not a grandma, i'm a mature woman who happens to have a grandchild"
  
• Cilla "Me and Jodie Foster have a lot in common"
  
• Michelle to Liam "You made me hate him (Dean)"
  
• Michelle to Carla "Just because i'm glad you told me doesn't mean i like you"
  
• 
  

Will Jason be able to talk Eileen round? She is feeling the pressure and needs to get away. Will she stay away or not? It doesn't look good. Claire just assumed that Eileen was going to give the baby back, Eileen didn't actually say it. Gail confronted Eileen who loves a good fight and points out that this time she knows it's a fight she can't win so she's running away. This time Gail really does understand. Of all the people that would be the one to really get through to Eileen, you wouldn't have thought it would be Gail. But then, maybe someone who isn't a friend had to be the one that talked the most sense. Nice of Jason to give Gail flowers. I could hear Eileen's heart crack from here when she gave that baby back. I'd like to know how they got that baby to fuss on cue! Eileen and Jerry seem to be a nice pair. Friends? More? possibly. He did make her feel just a wee bit better.

Paul certainly knows how to power play the staff. Hayley and Sally want to put some of the pieces together but a lot of what they think they know is supposition on their part (well, *we* know it's true but Paul seems to be a master at what we in canada call "stick handling". He just avoided the issue altogether and warned them what could happen if they started rumours. and then feeds Sally's ego by implying she's going to get to ge a PA and that caused Sally to do an abrupt about face now that she's "practically" management. Has Paul actually offered Sally the job though, or just made it seem like she would get it to get her on board. I thought Carla knew that Liam wanted her out of the factory? So why did she go ahead and snag another contract? She and Michelle nearly went to daggers drawn over the bar and Carla took out her frustrations on Michelle and now Michelle has the scent about a secret. Liam isn't as accomplished at lying as Paul is. It was written all over his face. I think Rob James-Collier did a great job in the confession scene. Gotta say though, that wasn't much of a slap, very obviously staged. I like my screen slapping to look spontaneous, not posed, and then nearly in slow motion with a light little slapping sound effect. Bloody well take his head off like Sally did to Natalie that time! The gold standard of Street Slaps, that was!

Paul made a remark to Carla about his marraige not looking too good lately. Huh? Up to where Carla more or less let the cat out of this particular bag, they had been looking pretty united. Where did that come from? Ok, well i think i know what they're setting up here but i can't spoil it but i really hate when they start throwing stuff out there like that. Let's face it, Carla and Paul probably always have had a rocky marraige but then they seem to patch it up and stick together. Who would have thought it would be Carla that made Michelle calm down a bit and realize that Ryan would have lost even more if she'd cut him off from his uncles, no matter what they did. At least Liam feels guilty about it. Paul might but he comes across as a lot more "cold" but i suspect, more self destructive.

Derek the grey drayman keeps sniffing around and Vernon hasn't got one suspicious clue to rub against the other. Liz is in this full stop now, though and damn the consequences. It didn't take long for Betty's aerial to start twanging with suspicion. I can't really see what Liz sees in Derek other than he's got a bit more about him than Vernon but Derek probably thinks all his birthdays have er... come at once. So to speak.

New shed... it's bloomin well the size of a small house! I've seen hunting shacks smaller! What's the point of getting Ashley? What's he going to do about it? Mind you, if it's encroaching on the neighbours' property, they could complain to the council and be made to take it down. Jerry's also a master at verbal stick handling. Pretends he is listening and heeding the complaints of the neighbours and goes on and does exactly what he wants. Watching that shed get lifted over the roof reminded me of when Des Barnes did the same with his boat.

Deirdre's still snapping at Ken when all he asked her was if she wanted a cup of tea or telling her about his day. Blanche is back, too though Ken wants to confiscate her downstairs room for a study but Deirdre won't have anyone in "Tracy's" room. Why doesn't Ken just make Tracy's room into a study instead? I think Deirdre seriously needs to talk to a doctor. Her heart's broken for Tracy but she's racked with guilt for her own part and resentment towards Ken and probably Tracy as well. As much as Blanche can be critical of Deirdre, she does love her and doesn't want her and Ken to break up.

Laughed at Jack blaming Vera for making him tidy up which caused her fall. Now Vera has hold of a baby monitor, it's like having an electronic umbilical cord to Jack. He won't get a moment's peace at all now! Looks like Fiz is better at sewing knickers than suits. You'd think someone that could design her own gear could do Chesney something that fit, or has the continuity fairy forgot about that? Only Cilla could be responsible for diverting the course of Biblical History and offer Mary and Joseph a room in the inn. I wish i'd seen that school play!

Corrie.net problems.

Yes, folks, the Corrie.net guestbook seems to be down at the moment. It's not just you. I can see other parts of corrie.net but can't ftp in to the server either, without getting an error. (I upload the spoilers and the episode updates regularly). We sit and wait. I emailed the tech support but that's not got a response yet.

Sunday comments, January 20

Lines of the Week

• Janice "Far be it for me to be insensitive" (HA!)
  
• Paul "What's done is done" (he's making a habit of that)
  
• Liam "I've never let ignorance stop me from discussing anything"
  
• Sean "My head's hurting, must be from all this concentrating"
  
• Jason to Eileen "You're more selfish than anyone"
  
• Bill about Cilla "The only blokes who watch her every move? Store detectives!"
  
• Gail "What harm could a little shed do?" (uh oh, i think you'll be sorry you said that)
  
• Lloyd "Is it Mondays. Is it women? or is it me?"
  

They must have put a camera right on the ground and let it go by remote for that shot of the ambulance driving right over it. Amazing how much the factory bees knew about Kasia for someone that could barely speak English. I'm surprised that, when everyone was wondering why Kasia was in so early, that they didn't realize she was working nights too, they must have known she and Vicki and the others had night work all along. And later on they did start musing about it. It just seemed like the continuity was a bit off. Here's hoping that Carla's guilt trip about the insurance for Kasia's family will keep Vicki from telling the truth because Vicki is pretty sharp. She knows that it would mean trouble for the Connors and probably everyone would lose their jobs if the factory was closed. Sally certainly mounted an efficient offensive with Vicki at a "nice friendly lunch" and had Vicki scurrying out in tears. Carla didn't think about how it looked waving a new dress around in the pub with the grieving factory workers. And did you notice the song playing in the background? Careless Whispers. "Guilty feet have got no rhythym...." I thought the upper area wasn't to be used for storage? Yet there are still dozens of rolls of fabric up there. Paul sure isn't very sincere. Working on his video game and then finally confronting the girls and making them feel like dirt because they didn't start up a collection for Kasia themselves.

Leanne seems to have worn out her welcome at her favourite hotel. Thing is, it's clientele from that hotel that called the call girl so really, the clientele *do* want her sort there. I don't know why Leanne was so upset, she must run into this all the time. Embarassment? or maybe Janice's words about going from posh hotels to the street corners hit home. Has she taken to plying her trade outside of the escort service when she's not on an "appointment" or something? Liam seems to be her rebound fella. It seems to me Janice used to have just a one bed flat, because i remember Leanne saying something about sleeping on the settee when she left Danny and stayed with Janice for a bit. I don't think Liam and Leanne are for the long term anyway, their names are too much alike! It'll never work! I think Janice might like a rerun of Leanne and the Underworld boss in some ways. Loved Paul taking the mick out of Liam just like a real brother would.

Mel Morton is in college. Doesn't seem like twin Darryl is. She was secretive about what was in her backpack though. Jerry's ex sure ran down the list of all the electronic stuff missing with out a word about the kids. Even so, i don't think they should have nicked the stuff. She sure gave them up quickly enough. I think they should call her bluff and let them call the cops and then hang the social services on her. Les and Cilla's place is finally looking decent after all the decorating they did. Looks like Sophie and Chesney are both in the school play. Sally doesn't seem to be nearly as strident in pushing Sophie like she did Rosie.

Eileen told Claire that Holly's mother dumped her but she did omit the fact that Holly's mother now seems to want her back. I really don't trust Miss Thing, the baby's mother even though i'm sure in the long run, she'll get the baby back. How will she know what to do with the baby this time around? The actress isn't very good, either, i'm afraid. I don't have any sympathy for her. The whole situation has driven Jason out and where did he land? Gail's (and Sarah's) Jason called Eileen selfish. I suppose she is in a way because it feels like she's filling a hole in her life with that baby without thinking of the baby. I can understand her being reluctant to give the baby back to a woman that abandoned her in the first place but with social services involved, they'll make sure Emma treats the baby ok and the baby isn't any blood relation to Eileen. Is Eileen going to give the baby back? She was doing all the baby's laundry. Poor Claire seems to be having a bad day with Eileen keeping a secret from her as well as the Barlows, that she's taking the baby and running!

Audrey broke Bill's heart and turned down his proposal. Well not really. He wasn't bothered. Nobody likes an proposal out of obligation anyway. Gail's turning 50... er... 49!! I don't blame her for having a gob on her when her own mother got it wrong. I think it really touched an old sore spot with Gail too, after a childhood of what seems to be neglect at the hands of her mother. Leave it to men to think it would be ok to broadcast a woman's age all over the neighbourhood. But Audrey did give her really pretty flowers, didn't she!? David knew that Audrey got it wrong but didn't say a word but that's not typical David, that's just typical teen!

Peter nearly got away from Maria without saying goodbye. But he tried. Get the feeling that Peter has a girlfriend down south? Peter's too old for her anyway. Adam is going with Peter and Denise (Ken's ex) wrote a letter of support. Deirdre thinks all the notes are from people who are basically ambulance chasers and gawpers. Now that Adam's gone and Blanche is away, will Deirdre and Ken be able to stand it with nobody else as a buffer?

Did Vernon really liken himself to a pulsating beast? *gag* He didn't waste any time scarfing the birthday champagne. I don't think Gail's glass even hit the bar before he'd had it. Meanwhile Liz is panting after Derek the drayman and Deirdre knows it.

Lovely little scene between Becky, Hayley and Roy outside the cafe. Claire is still banging on about Tracy's trial. She thinks her testimony sent Tracy to jail and Ken Barlow couldn't stand her to feel that way. He let Claire make the right conclusion and that has given Deirdre even more ammunition against Ken. Jerry seems to be measuring up the back garden. A shed?

Sunday Comments, January 12

Lines of the week:

• Jason "I reckon it's what Charlie would've wanted, me being around to take care of his business" (in more ways than one!)
  
• Sarah about the Mortons "We're posh compared to that lot"
  
• Eileen "It's not about me" Violet "Isn't it?"
  
• Betty about Vernon "He's like a u-boat, that fella, he only surfaces when it's quiet"
  
• Jason about Holly "But what if i love her or somethin'" (you don't know?)
  
• Jack about Vera's urges "Pretty soon she's marching through Paris!"
  

Emma needs to think hard and long about her motives for wanting that baby. It's all about the money she thinks she should get from the estate (so who got the money from the sale of the house and the business?) Sounds like Miss Emma and Miss Tracy are almost cut from the same cloth. Well nearly. But if that's the case, she's going to have to fight Shelley because she's got just as much of a claim. And i think Miss Thing would just as quickly dump that baby again if things got hard again. I can't blame Eileen for throwing her out on her 4 inch heels. Social services are involved, as they should be. As i expected, Jason really doesn't want to have anything to do with the baby now he knows it's not his. Sean gave him something to think about, pointing out it's entirely up to him. Support from anyone else makes no difference,it's down to Jason but Eileen won't listen. I laughed seeing Emma trying to fight Eileen over the baby. She didn't have a chance. Eileen was twice her size and had anger fueling her!

Kasia sure learned a few words of English quickly. Too bad it didn't serve her very well. Carla pushed and pushed the girls on the night shift and look what happened. One big cover up case. Problem is, the coroner could probably tell the time of death so waiting a couple of hours or so to call them could backfire big time. And with three boxes that fell down with Kasia, one small piece of clothing fell out of one of the boxes. There should have been clothing all over the place. Yes i know, pick pick pick. But isn't that what i'm here for? So Paul is spearheading another coverup over a death. This is turning into a habit. Not only do they have to convince Vicky to go along with the story, which might not be difficult, but Sally has her nose in it now too.

I think Ken has grown into a man that cannot express his emotions. If he has trained himself all those years to be objective then he probably has lost the ability to let it go except on rare occasions. I don't know what's worse. Deirdre screeching at Ken or barely talking to him.

Oh nice. The Morton's take the kids home, rightly so, but then strip the mother's house of food and appliances??? Why wouldn't the neighbour have recognized the other kids if not Jerry. Surely Jerry would have come to drop Kayleigh and the twins off at their mother's different times. The twins get to share a car for their birthday. Here's assuming they can drive. At least it goes, it's in better shape than David's. Partay! I giggled at Sally, Claire and Gayle getting squiffy after they were watching Granddad clear the place out and having a good nose around! I bet they all had sore backsides the next day but i suppose their hangovers were hurting them worse! I was enjoying David's getting shot down by Mel.

So Vernon thinks asking Liz to marry him means he's a changed man? But you know he's not going to change his skiving ways. Vernon just going to propose to her with a cringing song. Somehow, Liz's "all right then" didn't seem to be quite heart felt. Start as you mean to go on. Take Liz out to celebrate and borrow the dosh off Steve. *That's* going to make him a fan, yes indeedy. But *what* kind of blouse was she wearing? It looked likt it was made of about 4 different patterns! Talk about Fugly! Liz shows just as much bad judgement of men as she ever has, thinking Vernon has more incentive to change when all he's doing is letting her down already by getting drunk. And that's pushed her right at Derek. A bit of exciting which is exactly what Vernon isn't.

Another golf game, another set of ugly sweathers. Why is it people seem to feel the need to dress in the tackiest clothes on the golf course? At least they weren't in plus-fours. Yes, why *would* Jason ring his mother to tell her something when he lives so close? Adam doesn't want to go work for Peter because he doesn't want to actually work! Surely he must have spent most of that money he got for his share of the factory by now. Even if it's just on putting gas in that fancy sport car. Eileen wanted Jason to settle the baby but she sure looked quiet to me.

ooh we haven't seen the early morning milk truck for quite awhile! Vera must have been quite a hot blooded passion in her youth if she's still up for some morning dew-me ;) Where's Jack's going to put his pigeons? Will he make Liam feel sufficiently guilty? Oh sure. A couple of pints a week and a vision of his old Grandad and Liam was won over.

Monday two episodes back to back at the regular time.

Annoyances

There are things about soaps that annoy me in spite of the fact that i do love them. I do know it's television and it's not real. I do know they take artistic license sometimes. But I do wish that they'd use a bit of reality when it comes to things legal with regards to real estate. Houses are bought and sold and the new owners moved in practically in a few hours. The latest load of tosh is Charlie Stubbs' estate.

Charlie dies. No will as far as we know. Even if there was one, it would take weeks or months to sort out. But no. Tracy isn't even convicted yet and the house is sold and a new family has moved in. I want to know who sold the house. None of his family came to the funeral though he's supposed to have had some. Wasn't he even supposed to have had a child from a former relationship/marraige? Mind you, nothing he told anyone could have bore any relationship to the truth since he bent and twisted it to meet his needs. That sob story about the younger brother who died from a drugs overdose was always suspect if you ask me.

If he died without a will, there's no way his estate would be in any shape or form to be able to sell the house and now, the business, this soon after his demise. No way. And there's been no word about the flat either unless he was renting that. I know he sub-let it to Maria but i don't know if he owned it or was renting it himself. We'll let that one go to the rent book in the sky.

Also, how on earth could Jason have continued to run the business? He almost certainly wouldn't have had any access to the bank accounts either to deposit payments made for jobs or to withdraw to pay for supplies much less his own payroll. He's no accountant either. He also wouldn't really know the ins and outs of running that business. Stupid stupid stupid.

I really hate when they do things that are just incomprehensible. I'll accept some things for "artistic lisence" like how the immigration department swooped in on the factory the day after Janice called them. A day which happened to be Good Friday though they were all working overtime in the factory. Then Vicky was given a hard time because she had to go home to get her passport. What about all the others? Did they have birth certificates or passports with them? I doubt it but i'll let that one go but only grudgingly. We'll forgive the fact that Janice wears the same grubby old jacket for years but has expensive manicures. The estate stuff really rubs me the wrong way, though.

Another thing that annoys me from time to time is the black hole where all the cars go at night. As far as i can recall, only Rita and Gail's houses have garages. Most of the residents have cars yet you only see one on the street when they come out of the house to drive somewhere or arrive from somewhere. Then it's conveniently parked outside. Any other time, it's invisible. There's barely room in the ginnel for the wheely bins to be taken out by the binmen. There's nothing behind the new houses aside from their gardens. Victoria Street is directly behind them and Streetcars takes up most of that parking space. Behind Streetcars, at the end of the street, you often see the gates of a brewery so no residential parking there either. Where are the cars?

I know i shouldn't really get so anal about these things. It *is* only tv and i'm willing to suspend disbelief a lot of the time. It's just that some things go beyond disbelief. I'll just get me coat.

Sunday Comments, January 6

Lines of the week:

• Foreman of the jury "Guilty!"
  
• David "Whatever i say everyone automatically thinks i'm lying" (um, because you usually are)
  
• Steve "You know i'm going to have to buy her her first bra!"
  
• Janice about Joanne "She should have told me!"
  
• Dev "Mine is bigger than yours" Steve "It's not the size it's what you do with it" (golf clubs!)
  
• Janice "We need to take action" (haven't you already done that?)
  
• Dev about Jerry "Not only did that man kiss the Blarney Stone, he snogged the very life out of it!"
  

She's going down!! Absolutely no doubt in my mind that she would be found guilty. 15 years and Deirdre is going to beat herself up every one of them. Steve is now a single father. I wonder if we'll actually get a storyline where he finds it difficult. Nah. We didn't get it with Ashley, we won't get it with Steve. Tracey would have gone to prison even without Deirdre's testimony. Liz at least probably would be good company for Deirdre. She's had a son go to prison too. Claire's going to get quite a shock when she finds out that her bezzy mate stitched her up and sucked her into her nefarious plan. And Deirdre is now going to lash out at everyone and Ken's going to get the worst of it. Deirdre just isn't going to accept completely that her daughter is a monster and made Deirdre believe what Tracy wanted her to believe. Even knowing the truth, Deirdre seems to still be blocking it out and blaming herself. And even those crocodile tears as she was led away weren't very convincing. So the morning after, it's all over the newspapers. Why wasn't in the papers before that? You only saw it i think, the once, the day after the murder and not one photographer on the street. After Richard Hillman's escapades, the street was thronged with press. This shouldn't have been any different.

Tracy really is sticking the knife in where Deirdre is concerned. Nothing Deirdre says makes any difference. There's no way Ken and Deirdre could possibly afford any more big legal bills. Tracy turned on them some quick when she found that out and then tried the sympathy card ramped up with Amy guilt on top of it all. She's a supremely selfish cow and she deserves to be banged up alone for 15 years. I bet Tracy won't remember her parents' anniversary (will she remember it's also the date her father, Ray, died?) Blanche is gone on holiday, Peter will be gone and Adam with him. It's just Ken and Deirdre and all that guilt and smoke. Deirdre needs to get angry at Tracy, really angry. And not just at Ken which is who she's taking it all out on and i resent her calling him the Voice of Reason! (even if he is! ;)

Poor Steve is in a panic over raising a daughter in a pub and what Amy's future is going to be like. Steve has told Amy that her mommy has done something a little bit naughty. Can you see the panic in that child the first time she is naughty?

Sarah certainly seems to have completely gone against her brother. She doesn't give any quarter does she? Gail has her doubts about David's testimony and knowing about the security tape adds to it but he still managed to talk his mother round. He really knows what buttons to push. Peter's still sniffing around Maria's skirts but I see he really hasn't changed any. He turned around and took off back down South and didn't even tell her, and left the day after he spent the night under her sheets. Bill's buying Charlie's builder's yard? I thought he already did! Will Sally let Kevin invest? No i guess not. I don't suppose they have much money after all those school fees they're paying. But Audrey won't mind and Bill will take her up on it. See i wouldn't want paying back if the business was a good one, i'd rather have the income!

There's another little fallout from the murder. Just when Jason was starting to really like the baby, as we all suspected, the baby that everyone thinks is Jason's, isn't. Charlie was using Jason's name when he was out on the pull though the girl did remember Jason as being at the club that night too. I wonder if Charlie did that a lot or just when he was out catting around on a girlfriend. (and where *has* the baby been in the past few weeks? we've hardly seen her until the last episode this week!) Eileen's going to have a hard time giving up that baby now. I don't think Jason will.

You just knew that Leanne's survey was going to show that the house was just fine. She just enjoyed winding Liam up. As sure as houses, they'll end up together. You can see them sparking off each other already. Vernon's drum school was short lived, because of Amy moving in. Why isn't Sally all agog pushing Rosie on the stage now that she's auditioning for the school play?

Is Kayleigh old enough to be babysitting her little brother? She's old enough to be shoplifting. Guess she gets that from her Granddad. She's definitely not old enough to be left alone with a younger child. So Mel and Darrel are going to be turning 18. Guess they've both left school at 16 without going to do their A levels.

I'm glad to see Vicki standing up to Janice, face to face. Someone needs to offer Janice double and triple shifts and see if that stops her complaining. Except it wouldn't, would it? Ah so we see what's behind Joanne's vitriol against the Poles. She's an illegal immigrant, herself! Oh heck, Janice called in the immigration police and boy did she get a shock when Joanne was shopped! Why would anyone have their passport at work with them? The factory was open on Good Friday though they mentioned that they were doing overtime. I'm surprised the immigration police showed up. I can't think Janice knew they'd show up the day after she made the call and most places like factories are likely closed on a day like Good Friday so did they just arrive on the off chance? Joanne wondered how a child could break the law, well they can't. But she's an adult and has been working. She could have started the paperwork herself as a refugee from a war zone. Paul's hands are tied, though, more publicity might shine the light on Carla's night workers who may or may not be legal.