Despite all the festive excitement and spoilers on what lies ahead I'm afraid I remain a little underwhelmed when it comes to Coronation Street's storylines for the Christmas and New Year period. To me it feels like we've all been here many times before. Added to that, none of the stories mentioned feel in any way festive. I think all us lovely Corrie fans connected with this wonderful blog can do a whole lot better. I've come up with my top ten ideas for fantasy Corrie Christmas crackers.
1. St Ella of the Back Room falls for Rob whats-his-name from the factory and they quickly sail off into the sunset together. Sally invests her share of Kevin's lottery winnings into the Rovers, becoming the new landlady. I'd love to see Sally embroil herself in the affairs of the Lady Victuallers.
2. Sunita throws Karl out and reconciles with Dev. They leave the Street together with children Aldi and Netto, selling the Corner Shop to a mystery buyer...
3. Gail has some fun. Tricia Hopkins returns having bought the Corner Shop from Dev and runs it with Gail, who reverts to her maiden name of Potter. Together they relive their lost youth and the writers recall that Gail was once a businesswoman and has more to her than just skivying for her sons. She can still wear the tabard though.
4. Tracy-Luv is re-arrested for crimes against bad acting and repetitive storylines. She is immediately sentenced to life imprisonment without the viewers having to sit through another week-long "special" focussing on the trial.
5. Mavis Wilton returns to spend Christmas with Rita and Emily - cue some much needed Corrie nostalgia.
6. Carla and Peter reach the monumental decision to embark on a storyline that does not feature either Leanne or Nick. They celebrate with a couple of slimline tonic waters.
7. Archie Shuttleworth returns and proposes to Audrey. She accepts and they plan the wedding. The nuptials subsequently take place without any deaths, arrests, exposed infidelities or mishaps on the way to the church. Claudia Colby acts as matron of honour.
8. A fed up Emily whacks Norris on the head with the Christmas turkey. When he comes round his evil personality has been transformed and he spends the festive season doing good deeds for one and all.
9. Deirdre's pots finally achieve national acclaim. She opens her own business, naming it Blanche's. She appears in a special edition of The South Bank Show with Melvyn Bragg. Deirdre subsequently falls for Lord Bragg, declaring him to be a more interesting version of Ken.
10. Rita leads a traditional Corrie sing song in the Rovers Return. Although maybe not A Winter's Tale again...
So these are my ideas for the perfect Corrie Christmas. What are yours?
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