With thanks to Vada Magazine and writer Martyn Hakan Hett for allowing us permission to post this fab tribute to Gail Platt to the Coronation Street Blog,
Martyn is on twitter @MartynHett and is the person responsible for the Audrey Roberts noise. Check out the 10 reasons he's a Deirdre Barlow fan, also published online in Vada Magazine here.
But for now, enjoy the magic that is Gail Platt.
1) Her seduction skills are second to none
Ever wondered how Gail has gotten through so many men? I’d most definitely put it down to her powers of seduction. In the following video, we see Gail subtly attempt to have a quickie with her mother’s ex Lewis on her lunch-break. You have to admit, the girl’s got stamina. Unfortunately Lewis was only pretending to fancy her so he could steal her vast fortune; but had it been any other man, I doubt they could have possibly said no:
2) Her talent knows no bounds
Former waitress, receptionist and now head cleaner at the bistro – Gail has already built up an impressive resume. But her talents don’t end there. She’s also an incredible singer and dancer, and her repertoire is vast and versatile, ranging from the Nolans all the way to Katy Perry. I should probably point out that it took me 3 entire hours to locate the 90s version of Gail singing ‘In The Mood For Dancing’, and when I did eventually find it, I almost suffered a seizure, so please enjoy it:
3) She’s the Elizabeth Taylor of Weatherfield.
Gail’s never had it easy when it comes to men. Her first marriage to Brian Tilsley was abruptly ended when she had an affair. Unsurprisingly, a man can only stay away from Gail for so long, and they remarried her shortly after. However, it seems karma is a bitch, and Gail’s second chance of happiness was thwarted when Brian was stabbed in a back alley outside a nightclub. Thankfully, Gail traded in for a younger model and found love in toy-boy Martin Platt. Unfortunately Martin did the same to Gail and had an affair with a Geordie nurse (who eventually got bored and emigrated to Kuala Lumpur). Gail soldiered on and began a relationship with Richard Hillman, whom she married in 2002. But once again, the curse of Gail struck and he turned out to be a serial killer who drove her entire family into a canal. Standard. At this point, most people would have given up – but not our Gail! Her 5th marriage to a man named Joe McIntyre ended in tears when he sailed into the night on a boat, got a bit pissed, fell off and died. Despite these 5 unsuccessful attempts at marriage, Gail still remains confident that one day she’ll find her Mr Right. For that, I applaud her.
4) She partakes in recreational drug usage
5) She champions the polo-neck
Despite the polo-neck being a trend that comes and goes as the years go by, Gail has remained defiant, wearing them consistently for the past 38 years. Not only this but Gail manages to change and adapt the garment in order to suit every occasion. In the collage I created below we see Gail looking pretty in polo-necks at funerals, weddings and even in jail.
6) She has mood altering stairs
In the clip below, we see Gail enjoying a foot massage from a male companion. Once again, she turns on her sultry swag and claims that it’s “so good it must be bad for me”. It seems as though Gail’s finally about to get some when her male friend takes her by the hand and leads her to the stairs. But for some reason, as soon as her delicate, massaged feet touch the first few steps – Gail goes all psycho-bitch on his ass and throws him out without so much as an explanation. Perhaps she was predicting her future stair-based attack from her son David?
7) She’s a power bottom
8) She’s developed her own labelling system. It’s simple, but it works.
Gail is very precious about her personal possessions. Presumably as a result of the abuse she’s suffered from the various tenants she’s had in her house (second only to Eileen who somehow manages to house 86 people in her 2 bedroom terrace), Gail has developed a labelling system. It’s simple, but it works – and if you are stupid enough to abuse this system, you WILL face Gail’s wrath.
9) She does a great ‘end of part one’
Corrie may not have a ‘duh duh’ moment like EastEnders, but there’s often space for a dramatic moment before the commercial break – something EastEnders definitely lacks. In the below video, Gail gives us one of the finest ‘End of Part One’ moments ever featured in Coronation Street. It was 1979, possibly before the ability to freeze-frame shots. As a result of this, Gail remains poised and still for an awkwardly long time as the ‘End Of Part One’ text fades in. She’s so graceful, you’d never even know she was in motion.
10) She’d have your back in a fight
You’d never think that such a delicate flower like Gail would condone or partake in the act of violence. But you are incredibly mistaken. Because I have far too much time on my hands, I’ve created a compilation video of Gail’s various scuffles. Passionate and determined – it’s safe to say she’d definitely have your back in a fight.
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