I've been away from Corrie for a few weeks - almost a month, in fact. Firstly we went to Scotland, and then I've been busy, and although I've recorded episodes I haven't found time to watch them. So I've watched Monday night's and here's my fantasy about what's been going on:
1) Ryan and Tracy are indeed expecting a baby, only when it's born it's got 666 in its hairline, so Michelle has to sacrifice it on the steps of Weatherfield Town Hall, and Ryan and Tracy do indeed go to Glasgow and are never heard of or from again.
2) Tracy leaves behind Amy, though, because she's more badass than Little Simon, and will soon be sassing Steve all over, and we all know that'll lead to mass hilarity.
3) Norris and Mary go on a round-the-world cruise and are never heard from again. Ever.
4) Sally and Kevin (where ARE the Websters?) get back together, have a lovely wedding at the Town Hall (after Michelle's finished murdering), and then both disappear back into the kitchen while Sophie has beans for her tea.
5) Ken leaves with Wendy. Please god let Ken leave with Wendy. Or, even, we'll keep Wendy - but Ken can go.
6) Tina stops wearing her hair in that ridiculous beehive.
7) St. Ella just calms the hell down and stops trying to be everyone's agony aunt, and gets back together with Karl, and Sunita stops being a simpering wreck, and Eva starts being normal.
8) Gloria can stay though.
9) Kirsty. Kirsty can just. She REALLY freaks me out. The actress is brilliant, because Kirsty is so loathable. I cringe every time she's on. Please let her leave and then Fiz and Tyrone can get together and bring up Hope and Ruby together. Aww.
10) Finally, Lloyd's new family can stay, because they're both really good, and because he needs a family, god love him.
What happens in your Corrie fantasy?
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