(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog November, 2010, reposted to this blog with permission.)
With thanks to Corrie fan and Coronation Street Blog reader Jim Bell for sending in this wonderful poem.
I was still a young boy at school, It came on, Monday and Wednesday nights.
Minnie Caldwell and Martha Longhurst, With Ena Sharples, in the snug,
Of the Rovers Return, on the cobbled street, That the Nation grew to love.
Elsie Tanner was played by Pat Phoenix, A battle-axe, a real man-eater.
There was always a string of fellas Calling round to meet her.
Peter Adamson played Len Fairclough,Who was always a bit of a card.
A likeable sort of bloke in the street, Who ran a builders yard.
He met a girl named Rita, Who sang on the night club circuit.
Eventually, they married, And everything seemed perfect.
Len went into partnership with Ray Langton, In the building trade.
Ray met, and married Deidre, After several advances, he’d made.
Stan and Hilda Ogden, were an ordinary pair, they had a “muriel”on their wall.
With a set of three, flying ducks, One of which, was about to fall.
Ken Barlow was the brother of David, Whose parents were Ida and Frank.
When he started, he was only a young lad, Who was sometimes up for a prank.
Ken’s uncle, was Albert Tatlock, Who lived in his terraced home.
He always seemed a miserable chap,And ready for a moan.
The Rovers, was run by Annie Walker, Assisted by her husband, Jack.
For the Newton and Ridley brewery, With deliveries, somehow, made round the back.
Len Fairclough’s son was called Stanley. And was played by Peter Noone.
He later ,joined Herman’s Hermits, Making the girls in the 60s, swoon.
The street’s had lots of incidents, With shootings, and stabbings galore.
A robbery at Baldwin ’s factory, As Ernest Bishop made for the door.
The viaduct collapsed, at one point, And the factory’s been burnt down.
There’s been a lot more deaths in this street, Than in any northern town.
Harry Hewitt was killed , under his car, When it fell off of the jack.
It pinned him to the pavement, Breaking every bone in his back.
The stories cover every type of topic, From teenage births, and abortions,
To homosexual relationships, All calling on your emotions.
When Deirdre was jailed, several years ago, It made news, in the National press.
The story line really got out of hand, Until she was released when her accuser, confessed.
Mike Baldwin had fights with Ken Barlow, And he gave him a couple of shiners.
While fighting for the love of Deidre, But then suffered from Alzheimers.
The Duckworth’s added “class” to the Street, Stone cladding, was their claim to fame;
But, when Vera and Jack erected a plaque, They chose “The Old Rectory” as the house name.
The factory changed ownership, several times, And the machinists came and went
Tracey Barlow killed her lover, And, in jail, her time is spent.
Gail is currently languishing in the same cell As Tracey, on a murder charge;
While Tony Gordon, another villain, Revisited the factory, while at large.
Kevin Webster had an affair with Tyrone's wife, And Molly gave birth to a little boy;
He wanted her to have an abortion, But she said the baby was her bundle of joy.
It finally emerged, Kevin was the father, But a heated discussion was over-heard, by Jack.
He realised the girl, he treated as a daughter, Had been unfaithful, in the sack.
Meanwhile, back in the Webster household,, Rosie tarted herself up, as a treat for all men;
Wife, Sally was recovering, from breast cancer, And Sophie declared she was a lesbian.
Steve MacDonald’s dad, Jim, spent a life in jail Add that to the list above…
And you find yourself living in a Street, That’s totally bereft of love
Jack Duckworth had a party in the Rovers, But his Seventy-Fourth birthday was subdued;
It played on his mind, that he was aware of Molly, and Kevin’s news.
Tyrone left the pub, to return to his home; The house Vera and Jack used to share;
But it had proved too much, for poor Jack's heart, And he had slumped, into his chair.
A fitting end to Bill Tarmey’s tragic part, Along with Liz Dawn, who as Vera, appears;
A vision, passing in his dying moments, Leaving the Street and viewers, in tears.
It’s been fifty years since it started, Bill Roache was in it from the start.
With his role as boring Ken Barlow, Quite a well acted part.
These days it’s on several times a week, And the cast has changed a lot.
The scriptwriters do a fantastic job, Giving many a twist, to the plot
Let’s hope it continues for many more years, And the story lines get stronger.
I’ve followed it now, for fifty years, So I’m sure I can follow it longer.