Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Who will be the next Corrie serial killer?

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog July 2012, reposted to this blog with permission.)

Corrie kids, cute eh? But under that rosy-cheeked, fed on beans on toast exterior, there are serious pyschological problems just waiting to erupt in the coming years. As the kids hit their teens, they'll start hitting out and let's face it, most of them have the capability to become Corrie's next serial killer. Let's examine the evidence.

Simon Barlow

Not so cutesy as he might have us believe. He's going to have problems that kid, after being pulled from pillar to post between Peter and Leanne and used as a weapon in their custody game. His real mother's dead and even when she was alive, she was a timid little florist who hovered at the threshold to her flat for ten episodes before she married bigamist Peter when he was planning to wed Shelley Unwin. His dad Peter's a bigamist and an alcholic. His pretend mum Leanne was a prostitute. All the ingredients are there for Simon to go psycho. Possible serial killer ranking: 6/10 

Amy Barlow
The odds-on favourite in our house to become the next Corrie bitch from hell. Go to jail, go directly to jail. Do not pass the Kabin, do not collect any ornaments from any sideboards and do not hit anyone over the head with them.  Amy's the devil incarnate, just ready to start spitting green bile. Her mum's a murderer, a liar, a psycho and Corrie's best bitch ever. Her only redeeming feature is having Steve McDonald as a dad.
Possible serial killer ranking: 10/10

Hope Stape

You might say it's too early to tell how Hope will turn out, but I disagree.  Her dad's a confirmed nutter, kidnapper and psycho killer all rolled into one bundle of death.  Mum Fiz might be a stablising influence but she's got the Battersby-Brown genes in her and Hope could turn out as rough as grandma Cilla.  And don't forget, Hope has already spent time in jail.
Possible serial killer ranking: 7/10

Joseph Armstrong

Low on the scale to turn out pyschotic, but one to watch. Has inherited genes from bad-tempered grandad Owen and Battersby-Brown genes from grandma Cilla (see above).
Possible serial killer ranking: 4/10

Jack Webster
Another one to watch.  While mum Molly was pretty sensible and dad Kevin's got a bit of a temper on him, there's not much to suggest baby Jack will go off the rails when he's grown up.  Mind you, he does have very dodgy eyes, so the clues are all there. Don't say you weren't warned.
Possible serial killer ranking: 3/10

Alahan Twins

If Dev continues pushing Aadi into being a golf pro and leaving daughter Asha to her own devices, jealously might develop and who knows what might kick off? Other than having Dev as a dad, the twins show no outward signs just yet of being anything but normal.  But it's always the quiet ones, so we'd do well to keep an eye on the twins.
Possible serial killer ranging: 3/10

Liam Connor

A bit of a dark horse this one. He's got Connor blood in him so a life of being dark and mysterious lies ahead with a few awards for Sexiest Male at the soap awards when he turns 18. But will he turn into a serial killer?  Definitely one to watch in between his stints running Underworld and romancing Hope Stape.
Possible serial killer rating: 3/10 

Max Platt

With his blonde locks, you could be forgiven for thinking he's a little angel, but no. That's not a halo it's a reminder that he's one of the children of the damned.
Possible serial killer rating: 7/10

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Fabulous post. I often wonder about how much therapy those kids will need when they get older. For my money, the kids with the biggest serial killer potential are Simon (I'm sorry to say it) and Amy (she already looks a little cheesed off - that can only get worse). Also keep an eye out for Aadi Allahan. He has developed a rough edginesss and he has access to golf clubs!
cheers & all the best,

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