Thursday, 2 January 2014

What's happened to the women of Weatherfield?

(This post was originally posted by Clinkers (David) on the Coronation Street Blog December 2013, reposted to this blog with permission.)

As the holiday season approaches, it would seem that the lovely ladies of the cobbles have come down with a nasty dose of shrew-itus. Whichever door your care to knock at, the chances are that it will be answered by a woman with a bad attitude or one who has had a personality transplant.

Take Gloria. No really, please take her. The bo-ho bint has spent over a year being unpleasant. Every sentence was riddled with a nasty barb and yet here she is, sweetness and light, toying with the increasingly odd Dennis Tanner. Will somebody please return the old sourpuss back where she belongs as the new version is a worry.

Of course, Dennis' slightly over-the-top manner may be due to him living with the Moral Majority known as Rita. In the space of a few weeks, the red-headed lovely has morphed into a spiteful old spitbag. On she goes, berating and badgering. A snipe here, a snotty word there. Rita, please sit yourself down and have a big hot cup of shut up.

Meanwhile at the Rovers, pray silence for the Sisters Grim. Michelle is now folding her arms so frequently that Steve is considering installing hinges on her armpits. She beats a steady, sour path from 'back room' to bar, stopping only to offer a stream of vindictiveness with her partner-in-doom, Liz 'Ronald' McDonald. Liz has proved, as if we actually ever needed proof, that she will never step forward to receive a Mother of the Year award. While she laughs, snorts and points at Steve, maybe she ought to remember who invited her back to the Rovers. Maybe Steve will get the last laugh and send these two mirthless hyenas packing.

Kylie we love. Let's re-iterate: we love Kylie. There are ominous signs though that she is starting to do a 'Becky', that endless cycle of joy and retribution. Please, powers-that-be, let's not go there.

Eileen continues to shuffle around like the Ghost of Christmas Past, now aided by her '36 year old' (stop sniggering) sister. We've had the Sisters Grim, now make way for the Sisters Grimshaw. Maybe 2014 will be kinder to them.

Add to this bunch a slightly batty Carla, all of the Armstrong/Windass women, Tangerine Tina and creepy Gail languishing in the House of Oedipus and you have a somewhat disconcerting bunch of females. We should cling to and cherish the likes of Audrey, Beth and for a little while longer, Hayley. As for the rest? They need an away day in Morecambe. Now.

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