(This post was originally posted by Graeme N on the Coronation Street Blog in March 2013.)
I haven't played this game for a while so I thought I'd have a bash to cheer myself up. I'm playing armchair producer again. So in no particular order, here's what I would do if I was in charge of Corrie in 2014:
I'd ditch the current, awful updated theme tune. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the old one. It was perfect, beautiful even. Watching old pre-2010 episodes, the theme tune really does make the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. The current tune feels lightweight and jars with cliffhangers at advert breaks.
Having said that, I'd remove the theme tune altogether when a character dies. It used to happen as a mark of respect and I think it is a fitting tribute which should certainly have been used when Hayley died.
I would also ditch the titles - the out of focus shots of what I presume is Manchester really don't do the programme any justice.
Give Deirdre Barlow a storyline!! For goodness sake writers, Anne Kirkbride is an asset - use her!
Send Dev and the twins off with Stella when she leaves. I know Dev has his supporters but he always makes me cringe. The comedy is forced and laboured, the dramatic moments always just miss the mark.
Install a middle aged woman as manager of the Corner Shop - it needs a matriarch character, someone other characters can confide in and gossip with. The Corner Shop used to be a focal point of the show and nowadays we don't see it as much as we should.
Audrey needs a pal. Never mind fixing her up with inappropriate men, I loved her exploits with Alma back in the day, and more recently with Claudia Colby (Rula Lenska). Why can't they bring Claudia back and let's see them let their hair down a bit.
The cast is still too big. I baulked the other evening during the Corrie documentary when a cast of 70 was mentioned. Realistically how can Coronation Street tell 70 characters' stories, even if we are bombarded with five half hours a week?
Cut the episodes back. There are too many and it dilutes the magic. What's wrong with three half hours - Monday, Wednesday and Friday?
More scenes where nothing happens, letting the dialogue dominate.
Get Steve McDonald away from that Michelle! She was no good for him the first time around so who knows why they decided to rehash this one.
Get Gail away from her family, her mop and that awful tabard! Rejuvenate the character!
Put Tracy Barlow back in jail and bring in Blanche's sister.
Get rid of Katy Armstrong. I don't care how, just make it happen.
Do something with the butchers shop - Remember that Sally has money and let's see her do something with it.
Get rid of Sophie Webster. I don't care how, just make it happen.
Don't let Philip Lowrie leave - find something interesting for Dennis to do.
I want to see more of Kal - and I mean that in every sense.
Introduce some interesting older characters.
Finally, spread the action out so more than a handful of characters dominate. I feel that the Windasses, Peter, Carla and Tina are in EVERY scene. Make it stop!
I'm sure some of these will divide opinion, so feel free to add your own thoughts! What would you do if you were in charge?
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