Tuesday, 16 June 2015

Kal's gone

(This post was originally posted by Clinkers (David) on the Coronation Street Blog in June 2015.)

It was with a sense of 'whatever' that I approached Friday's double dose of Corrie action. On offer was the unappetising, for me anyway, prospect of episodes dominated by the Nazirs and Eileen Grimshaw.

I could bang on about the Nazirs representing the nadir of Weatherfield life at the moment. They have been an easy target for many a month thanks to sullen Zeedan, Sharif's 'eh bah gum' accent and Yasmeen performing to the back row of the theatre.

Now we were gathering to bid farewell to the relatively unlamented Kal (or Kal-Gone as I now like to think of him).

Dull father, weary partner and slightly doughy fitness instructor, Kal had blandly struggled through eighteen months of Street life. Now it had come to this, Ken Barlow rubbing his hands with glee at getting to experience a Muslim funeral. Kal's funeral. So low-impact was this character that I forgot who had died at one point.

Admittedly though, the remaining Nazirs came across in just the right way. A mixture of bewilderment, sadness, anger and  even some compassion for Weatherfield's very own Munch's Scream, Leanne. Yasmeen could have been shrill and hysterical. Instead we got a thoughtful performance from Shelley King. Slightly dreary was Alya's 'I'll make her pay' threat in respect of Carla. Given the waves of loathing washing over La Connor, she may as well hurl herself under the nearest sewing machine. Other than that, the bit of bonding between Ken and Sharif was nice plus a chance for Comedy Dev to provide a restrained, almost monosyllabic few scenes. Anyone notice a reference to Deirdre too? The beginning of the end of her story.

Onwards then to Eileen, a character who I genuinely loved in her early days but who now, I admit to not being all that bothered about. The once razor-sharp one-liners have been replaced by sarcasm and she tends to flip-flop between feast and famine in the romance stakes. Eileen treated dull old Adrian like a doormat and so I settled down with a nice hot mug of schadenfreude to witness yet another of her demises. However, it didn't quite work out that way.

In the convivial setting of the Bistro ('Come! Meet our elderly looking owner and his team of fraudulent staff!'), the singularly unlovely Todd treated his nearest and dearest to a round of vitriol and an apple martini. A camp little flourish from the Toddster there.

Watching Eileen's world crash around her was quite awful. Todd gleefully stabbed her in the back, eyes shining with malice. Jason's eyes shone, as usual, with the spirit of nothing at all as he tried to comprehend what was going on. When the penny finally dropped, so the Grimshaw fist swung into action and a nation cheered. Suddenly I find myself back on Team Eileen although realistically, we all know that she will repeat this behaviour ad-infinitum until her dying day. The grass is always greener anywhere than at Eileen's. Which given her concrete back yard, is a fair comment.

What next for Mistress Grimshaw? A romp with Michael followed by a 'Prisoner Cell Block H' boxset with Sean? Eileen's a daft old bat at the best of times but I'm on her side. As for the Nazirs? They may emerge from the leaden shadow of Kal-Gone and shine brightly. Here's hoping that they do.

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