(This post was originally posted by Clinkers (David) on the Coronation Street Blog April 2013, reposted to this blog with permission.)It's the Corrie storyline that we all seem to have missed. Yes, those wily writers managed to sneak a secret plot into the show without any of us realising. At some point in the past year, Eileen Grimshaw was snatched from the cobbles and replaced with someone else.
You remember Eileen don't you? Sarcastic wit, razor-sharp one-liners, general shoulder to cry on?
The Weatherfield bodysnatchers presumably descended on the Street one dark evening and bundled our favourite taxi switch operator into the back of a van. In her place they left a cunning impostor. A woman who resembled Eileen, save for the hairstyle which they obviously could not master. New Eileen is a dreary, desolate ha'porth. She trudges between micro-kitchen and tiny sofa with a face like a bag of spanners.
New Eileen makes enemies of former friends and shacks up with a man who has all the vitality of a balloon on a stick. She fails to notice that her barmy sister spends all day, everyday swanning around in a full-length woollen cape.
New Eileen doesn't laugh or have fun. She hides in fire station cupboards and whines on about how scared she is that someone might pop her balloon on a stick at any moment. Well, we've had enough. It's time for sharp-shooting, fun-loving, wise-cracking Eileen to return and usurp this pretender to her throne (or PVC clad office chair). Real Eileen needs to make a glorious comeback, stopping off at Audrey's on her way for a new barnet.
Meanwhile, I've got the urge to burst a certain balloon. Anyone got a pin?
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