Here it is, all in one blog post, Flaming Nora's very own highlights and lowlights of Coronation Street 2012.
If I had to sum up 2012 on Corrie in one sentence it would be this: "I hope 2013 on Coronation Street is a heck of a lot better, Mr Blackburn."
Highlights - Sally Webster falling for freaky Frank Foster despite her knowing the rape rumours, and telling everyone: "I'm a good judge of character". Oh, how we laughed; Frank's rape trial begins and the truth about Peter and Carla's bonk-fest comes out; Tyrone and Kevin shake hands and start speaking to each other after months of being too hurt, too proud, too macho to forgive and forget; Faye kills Owen's fish by chucking creosote in the fish pond, forcing Anna to realise she has more on her hands than she first thought with little FAYe. And more than she bargained for with Owen, who hits FAYe; Steve and Tracy get married. Becky keeps tight-lipped at the ceremony but lets rip at the reception saying: "Revenge is all the more sweeter now he's chained to the cow." That's when she waves Tracy's medical records and drops the bombshell about Tracy losing the twins by falling down the stairs; Becky leaves and flies off to Barbados with Danny and his kid, leaving Max with Kylie; Eileen becomes a carer for Paul's wife, Lesley who has early-onset Alzheimer's Disease; Tyrone wonders why cop girlfriend Kirsty's always in a bad mood. It's too much for Tina, she moves out of No. 9, convinced that Kirsty is out to get her; Milton arrives from America and takes a shine to Sylvia, much to Roy's surprise. "He actually appears to like her!"
Lowlights - Sunita starts work as a barmaid in the Rovers Return after handing in her notice to Dev in the Corner Shop. Sunita behind the bar just didn't work, did it?; Norris and Sylvia battling it out in the music competition at the Rovers Return; Steve splitting No. 13 in half with Tracy and Amy living upstairs and him downstairs.
Highlights - Frank Foster's rape trial. He offers to buy the factory from Carla for a pittance and she refuses; Paul and his wife Lesley who has early on-set Alzheimer's Disease, move in with Eileen; Rosie Webster leaves Weatherfield to star in a reality TV show in that London. Jason's bereft. Who will he play 'Bedtime with the Beckhams' with now?; Beth, Craig and Darryl the rat move into No. 13 with Tracy and Amy when Steve moves to live in the Streetcars flat; Katy does a runner, unable to cope with the pressure of being a new mum to baby Joseph; Roy turns down Milton's plans to turn Roy's Rolls into a steam train theme restaurant, Beef Encounter. And Sylvia turns down Milton's invitation to live in America, telling Roy: "I can't be doing with faucets and closets and pants, not at my age,"; Julie thinks she's pregnant and Brian accuses her of having an affair because he's had the snip; Lewis returns to lure Audrey again; Audrey and Gail go power-walking - watch the FAB YouTube.
Lowlights - Surprisingly none for this month. February was clearly a good month for this Corrie fan - but there are portents of things to come which don't look good.
Highlights - Frank Foster's killed by his own mum, Anne. Sally's knocked into a coma by Anne and recovers, of course; Dennis proposes to Rita. The Street is set to get its Mrs Tanner back; Deirdre starts pottery classes and bonds with Beth's son Craig over their love of pots; Lewis starts work at the Bistro; Steve and Ken bond. Ken tells Deirdre and Tracy he's sick to the back teeth of them both and staggers out with his suitcase full of pullovers and cardigans and moves in with Steve.
Lowlights - Karl gets Tez the TV man to put a satellite telly in the pub causing interference with Streetcars' reception; Karl's gambling debts become apparent; Karl and Sunita start flirting in the Rovers; Sunita gets drunk and dances on a car roof; Tina and Tommy start dating; Amber leaves. Shame really, she was good once upon a time.
Highlights - One of the saddest stories of the year... Betty Williams passes away and son Gordon Clegg returns to Coronation Street to break the news; Terry Duckworth returns when news of Tommy's windfall from grandad Horton reaches him; Ken helps out on the Streetcars switch when Fat Brenda goes on her bikini body bootcamp; Audrey and David fight over the salon causing poor Audrey to have a heart attack; Carla grits her teeth and bears it when Sally offers to buy half the factory. "In a lot of ways," says Sally, "I'm the answer to Carla's prayers."; Eileen's at her wits end when Paul's wife Eileen, who has early-onset Alzheimer's Disease, goes missing; Little Simon comes out with the classic question to Carla: "What's a black widow?" when he's caught up in a custody battle between Leanne and Peter; Julie finds out she's not pregnant after all and gets the vey sad news she's got a growth on her ovary; Norris, Mary, Roy and Anna stage a sit-in at Terry Duckworth's lapdancing club Se7enth Hea7en and sing the wonderful Queen song Bohemian Rhapsody.
Lowlights -Rewriting of Coronation Street history by saying Betty Williams was bequeathed the Rovers Return in Annie Walker's will. Shame on you, Phil Collinson' Stella throws Karl out when he nicks takings from Rovers Return to fund his gambling habit; Stella takes Karl back; Sean becomes the recipient of Betty's secret hotpot recipe. Sean?; Weatherfield in Bloom story - it didn't flower for this fan.
Highlights - Sally and Kevin try to reunite but fail when Sally can't accept baby Jack and his shifty-eyes; Julie has her ovaries removed in hospital; she'll never be a mum; Horrible highlight of the month - Kirsty starts hitting Tyrone and whacks him twice this month; Paul the fireman's wife Lesley Kershaw, who has early-onset Alzheimer's Disease, dies after being electrocuted by a toaster; Gail in the Bistro has got a bobbly tabbard. There's nowt worse; Nick finishes with high-maintenance Eva and brands her evil, vindictive and unhinged after she puts chilli in the hot-pot.
Lowlights - Rick the drug dealer comes looking for Terry and Tommy and no one, but no one, thinks to call the police; Kylie starts work in a lapdancing club, Nick finds her and drags her home to make up with David; Mary babysits little FAYe.
Highlights -Rita and Dennis are married; Eileen goes back to work on the Streetcars switch after being sacked by Carla at Underworld for taking the day off to attend Lesley's funeral; Gail gets promoted from Bistro cleaner to waitress. "How's the duck?" a customer asks her. "Quacking!" she replies; Jason goes on a date with Eva: "You're a cracking bird!" He's quackers!; Little Simon gets drunk on a bottle of wine when he's caught up in the custody battle.
Lowlights - Jubilee Street Party was a damp squib. Too much dressing up in costume, not enough Corrie; Sunita and Karl fumble on a dirty weekend then Dev asks Sunita to marry him; Audrey spots Maria falling for Marcus; Steve puts No. 11 up for sale forcing Beth and Tracy to put prospective buyers off. This could have been funny but fell flat for this fan; Nick tells Leanne: "I've always wanted to be a dad", conveniently forgetting he once made Leanne have an abortion.
Highlights - Izzy tells Gary she's pregnant but not everyone's pleased as Owen erupts with macho concern: "You've only been back together five minutes and he's not long been off his rocker!"; Lloyd returns; Tracy moves in with Emily and makes Norris' life hell; Mary cosies up to Roy in the cafe while Hayley's out dancing. She puts Roy off his chess move and he dribbles piccallilli on his bishop; Peter and Carla leave for a few months. Never easy to watch but compelling all the same, Kirsty's violence continues. She smashes Tyrone's framed photograph of Jack; Marcus moves into Maria's flat and cooks dinner for Kirk who mistakes it for a date. "It wasn't a date," Marcus reassures him to which Kirk replies:"It wasn't? But we had napkins!"; Ryan Connor returns all buff and hunked up. He's a cocaine freak and tries to rip off Underworld for compensation after faking an accident in the packing room.
Lowlights - Carla's brother - who had been talked about in the past and called Darren - turns up and he's now called Rob. Lots of hype leading to lots of disappointment for this fan; Streetcars have a fiasco fight with Fare Ladies when Tracy tries to sabotage Steve's business. Not even the wonderful Eileen, Steve and Lloyd could save this storyline; Little FayE gets bullied at school; Everything and anything with St Ella in it, which unfortunately was rather a lot, yet again.
Highlights - Steve uses Ryan to help him get back in Michelle's good books and under her duvet; Tina finds out that Kirsty's abusing Tyrone but he won't let her help him; Hayley has to have a word with Mary to stop her crushing on Roy.
Lowlights - Sylvia leaves to live in America with Milton. She was wonderful - please bring her back!; Izzy and Gary agree to having a surrogate baby with Katy; Tracy goes to hospital with a kidney infection. "She could die!" sobs Deirdre. Oh, if only; Kevin's DIY keeps Paul the fireman awake so he has to sleep on Gail's sofa. This storyline was just like Gail's life itself - so much potential, so little satisfaction; Sunita loans Karl loadsamoney so he can buy 250 Chinese smoke alarms from his mate, Tez.
Highlights - Lloyd gets more screen time when his long-lost love Mandy and her daughter Jenna turn up. He's shocked but pleased when Jenna turns out to be his own daughter; Golden Glo enters the Rovers into Lancashire Leisure's Pub of the Year competition. The storyline was a bit naff but full marks to Corrie for giving Gloria Price more time on screen. This fan thought she was fab; Kirk and Beth get together and share a snog at work. Kirk tells Beth: "You smell better than a pie," and "You smell more gorgeous than the top of a dog's head!"; Wendy flamin' Crozier returned and put a spring in the step of Ken Barlow and his brogues; Never easy to watch, but Kirsty's violence escalates. This time, she loses control with little Ruby and registers her birth certificate with 'father unknown'.
Lowlights - The surrogancy storyline ploughs on with Owen controlling Tina and Tommy, offering them £5k and his flat to move into; Tracy tarts about with Ryan to get back at Michelle and Steve. This storyline did improve, but took its time to do so; Maria goes through breast cancer scare and confides in Marcus. What should have been oe of the year's most dramatic storylines fell completely flat for this fan.
Highlights - Deirdre's suspicious about Ken meeting Wendy flamin' Crozier. She yells to Rita: "I think Ken's up to his old tricks again!" to which Rita replies, with a touch of Cagney to Deirdre's Lacey: "GET IN!". Deirdre yells at Rita to put her foot down. "Overtake that van!" to which Rita replies: "I haven't overtaken anything in 50 years!"; Mary starts her theme nights at Roy's Rolls while the Croppers are visiting Sylvia in the States. Mind you, these theme nights might have started off well but they ended up being repetitive and naff; Audrey returns from her holiday alone after Lewis does a runner from the Eurostar. Miss Diane from Crossroads turns up looking for Lewis, too.; Kylie starts work at the Bistro; Steve convinces Ryan to propose to Tracy in a packed Rovers after she pretends she's pregnant with Ryan's baby. I loved this.
Lowlights - Stella; Maria and Marcus snog.
Highlights - Wendy flamin' Crozier tries and fails to get her claws back into Ken when he falls asleep on her soft furnishings; Lewis decides to get revenge on Gail and starts by trying to charm the pants off her: "You're the Koh-i-noor of Coronation Street."; Michelle returns from Ireland; Always difficult to watch and it keeps getting worse - as the acting keeps on getting better. Fiz gets her finger sewed into a gusset as Kirsty's campaign of evil steps up a gear.
Lowlights - Ryan gets Sophie knocked over playing with the traffic while he was high on drugs; Gloria leaves under a cloud and in the back of a cab after setting the honey-trap for Lewis. Bring back Gloria! Now!; Surrogacy rumbles on and and on and on; Marcus decides he's not gay. Kirk's not the only one confused and asks Marcus: "Did you feel yourself slipping away or did you find it happening when you weren't looking?"; Five-a-side football match between The Weathy Arms and the Rovers Return. So full of comic potential, Corrie did these sort of things wonderfully in the past. Not any more; Eva, Rob, Steve and Michelle kick-off in a Sheffield hotel. Again, this should have been funny, the potential was there. What happened?; St Ella gets anointed with holy water from above when the bathroom springs a leak. It was like Lourdres had come to Salford.
Highlights - Kirk and Beth and Craig spending Christmas together; Horrible to watch but the Kirsty and Tyrone storyline will deserve every one of the soap awards I trust it will win in 2013; Dennis and the Lollipop men taking on Streetcars; Gail being manipulated by Lewis as he exacts his revenge on her; Nick and Kylie shagging on what should have been Nick's wedding day to Leanne.
Lowlights - Corrie Christmas was a bit of a disappointment. Same old Leanne/Nick/Peter/Carla roundabout; Kirkys Turkys didn't quite defrost into a decent storyline.
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