(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog January 2013, reposted to this blog with permission.)
Another fab guest post from Coronation Street Blog reader Anna Kalinski who is on twitter @annakalinski
Well you don't have to be Nostradamus to have seen this "shock" coming on Coronation Street.
What would come as a "shock” to most of us would be if ITV cleaned up their act. There must be some sort of Random Soap Plot Generator out there on the internet, into which the writers input a list of cast members. It obviously generates some automated script print-out with the character names inserted in, y’know, like one of those emails I so often get, saying things like: ‘Anna, have you thought about how our innovative investment fund managers can help you further develop your offshore investments?’ A computer error. Not designed for me, but with my name on it, still. I mean, there can’t be any sort of sentient being involved with the production these scripts, can there, as surely somebody would picked up on it and have intervened by now?
Things hit a new low when, on Christmas day, my brother - who doesn't even watch Coronation Street nor knows Nick Tilsley from Adam (Rickitt) - saw about ten minutes of the Xmas day episode and said, "It’s obvious anyway that he (Nick) won’t get married and will probably end up going off with her (Kylie) at the end of the episode.” Argh. I was almost too embarrassed to defend Corrie.
the exciting Platt family spoiler. (See what I did there? Teased? Spoiler? Tried to add in a sense of excitement and sensationalism for you? Oh, gimme a break...)
Earlier this week, Inside Soap Magazine lifted the lid on the big new storyline, with Ben Price who plays Nick revealing that 2013 will yield “a shock development early in the year” which “lights a fire under everything.”
Viewers can expect another explosive storyline that will rock the stree--
(Er- hello? Wake up there, you - nodding off at the back- give him a nudge…)
We often say on this blog that “we could have seen it coming” but now’s the time to get it on record. So, what are your personal long-range predictability predictions for Corrie 2013? Place your bets please, place your official ‘told you so’ bets, right in the comment box below.
Think: the Platt family, pregnancy, Kirsty/Tyrone, Carla/Peter/Leanne/Nick-- or the surroga--
(-Ooops, sorry, nearly nodded off myself for a second there...)
What's it gonna be? If you’re finding it difficult, try to ask a small child what they think will happen next. No, on second thoughts, that’s a silly idea. You know how imaginative and creative children can be…
The winner wins.... well, just wins, really, as a winner is wont to do.
I mean, there’s no prize. I've got nothing here for you; you've caught me on the hop. It’s after Christmas, we've got nothing in, save for some sausage rolls in cling film, a chutney/world cheese gift pack and my opened tin of Quality Street which (as I’m on the subject) in a freak manufacturing incident did not include any orange creams so has to be retained for evidence. Which incidentally, reminds me I should really write that letter of complaint. If it goes well, they'll send me a good few cases, I’d imagine, so the winner can have one of those. Can’t say fairer than that. I’ll shame them on Facebook. Always works.
Each year, my elderly, frail grandmother, who is also partially sighted, hobbles down to the local shops to fetch back a 1kg tin of so–called "Quality” Street, against all medical advice. She’s on her own now, bless her, and particularly likes the orange cream variety and always remarks that such sweets make her Christmas. So, imagine her disappointment and abject confusion when on Christmas morning I had to repeatedly explain to my tearful and distressed 86- year-old grandmother that...."
(Read it and weep, Nestlé. More controversy, eh? The orange creams are on me. )
In the meantime, the only spoiler round here is Phil Collinson. He’ll probably try and enter this competition, but with his predictable storylines, that’d be considered cheating. Fear not. He wouldn’t even get one of the always- left- over knobbly brown Quality Street out of me with his carry on.
Place your bets…
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