Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Next Year's Corrie plots? (no spoilers)

(This post was originally posted by Mark on the Coronation Street Blog in December, 2010.)

A van pulls up at the factory as Carla is closing up for the day.  Her five long-lost Connor brothers climb out and take over the business.  They set about building another extension to the factory and in doing so discover just what that smell is in the ladies loo.  It’s Colin Fishwick.  Fiz identifies the rug he’s wrapped in as hers and she is arrested for Colin’s murder and crimes against interior design.  John conveniently heads off on a teacher’s training course in Benidorm.  Sian and Sophie decide to adopt a child and book a trip to Tibet to find one.
Gail enjoys a weekend away from it all at a retreat.  Whilst there she meets handsome monk, Daniel, who asks to keep in touch.  After exchanging a few postcards Daniel turns up on Gail’s doorstep having turned his back on celibacy and he moves in with her.  Fiz is given a life sentence at her trial and uses her time in prison well – she makes another rug.  Sian and Sophie jet off to Tibet.
Gail and Daniel announce their engagement, much to Audrey’s discomfort.  She knows there’s something not right about him and is determined to discover his dark secret.  Ken decides to commission a portrait of Deidre but when he goes to see the painter (Trixie) he falls into her arms and decides he would have preferred to have lived her bohemian life.  They embark on a steamy affair.  Sian and Sophie return with a little Tibetan baby they call Baby GaGa.
The Connors decide to make the factory smaller again and they remove the new extension over the course of a weekend.  Two of the brothers die in the process, another goes back to Ireland and two more vanish.  Carla is on her own again.  Tracy Barlow offers to spring Fiz from prison if she’ll give her baby Hope.  Fiz agrees.  Tracy then offers the child to Becky and Steve for a couple of hundred in notes.  A deal is struck.  Baby GaGa isn’t settling in to Weatherfield life so Sian and Sophie post him back and agree to adopt Chesney instead.
Tracy visits Fiz in prison carrying a very large bag and smuggles Fiz out in it.  Fiz gives her baby Hope, which Tracy accidentally leaves on a bus and Becky is furious that she’s lost the chance for another child. Ken presents Deirdre with the portrait but she isn’t struck with it and throws it back at him.  Trixie arrives in her old VW Beetle and begs him to leave with her.  Emily reminds Ken that Uncle Albert would be turning in his grave if he thought Ken would get into a German car.  He is brought back to earth by this reminder of his past.  Trixie leaves without him and Deirdre burns the painting on the Red Rec.  She is arrested because Weatherfield is now a smokeless zone. 
Deirdre is released from prison following the intervention of the Prime Minister.  There’s a flood in the Rovers cellar and during the building works an old beehive wig of Bet’s is discovered with rats nesting in it.  Norris gets very excited and Rita notices he changes just a little.  His secret is out – he’s been Alec Gilroy in disguise all these years.  Rita curses herself for not noticing the haircut and tank-tops were the same.  He just wanted to be near Rita – he proposes to her, and she now finds herself owner of the Kabin once more .. and landlady of the Rovers, which Alec buys from Steve.
Gail and Daniel marry on the banks of Weatherfield Canal.  While they are away on honeymoon in Blackpool Audrey rifles through Gail’s private papers and discovers a newspaper cutting from the trial of Brian’s murderer.  It is Daniel.  Audrey decides to keep quite until the Rovers has a big do.  Peter Barlow is back on the bottle and he joins Eileen for a night on the town.  They end up in bed together and when Eileen discovers she’s pregnant Ken forces Peter to propose to her.  Eileen says yes.  Baby Jack is taken ill and desperately needs a kidney transplant.  Tyrone’s offer of a kidney is rejected but he pleads with Kevin to give the child one of his.  He agrees.
There’s a big do at the Rovers and Audrey produces the press cutting – Daniel is exposed as Brian’s murderer.  Gail is having none of it and she forgives her new husband.  However, later that night Daniel suggests a drive to their wedding location by the canal.  As Gail gets into the car she questions his need to tie her up and Daniel admits he also set fire to the convent killing Ivy.  He has a pathological desire to wipe out the Tilsleys.  They set off towards the canal. 
Daniel is about to drive his car into the canal when he spots a figure climbing from the water.  It is Joe, who faked his death a little too well.  He has returned and shoots Daniel and snogs Gail.  She berates him for all the money she wasted on the funeral but they are reunited.  Steve wins a fortune in a Cumbrian gurning competition and he gets offered a modelling job in Hollywood.  He and Becky decide to go and chase their dreams.  Becky, on a hunch, visits the lost property office at the bus depot and finds baby Hope, whom she renames Rover.  Steve, Becky, Amy, Max, Rover and all the other kids they’ve bought along the way head off to Hollywood.  At the airport they realise the tickets say Hollinwood, a suburb of Manchester.
Fiz notices that she hasn’t seen much of John since Colin Fishwick’s body turned up at the factory but then Sean spots a picture of him in the Weatherfield Gazette.  It turns out he’s been leading a double life as the headmaster of Weatherfield County Academy so he’s not been able to see much of her.  She confronts him at a parent’s evening and they fall into each others arms. He agrees to come home but only if Fiz will let him run a correspondence college from home. A bolt of lightening strikes the Websters causing Jason and Rosie to merge into one but Sally insists ‘Josie’ lives with her.  Sally and Eileen have a fight in a vat of mud just for the sake of it – and the ratings.  Eileen goes into labour and Sally helps deliver baby Blanche Barlow.
Sophie and Sian split up when Sophie announces she was just going through a phase.  Sian agrees that she was too and she proposes to adopted son Chesney. Peter and Eileen marry with Leanne and Nick as their witnesses (they discovered their first marriage was still legal due to a technicality).  Baby Jack comes home from hospital – he is now 18 and Kevin gives him a job at the garage having sacked Tyrone.  Baby Jack rejects Tyrone.  He is later diagnosed with a cotton allergy meaning he has to work in the garage shirtless.
Newton and Ridley announce that the Rovers is to get a new name and there’s a campaign to stop them involving Rita sitting atop the pub.  It snows heavily and she’s stuck there for a fortnight with Alec too tight to pay the fire brigade to bring her down.  Little does she know that while she’s up there he goes on a cruise with an exotic snake act from Crewe. As the Platt/McIntryre family sit down for Christmas lunch Tina begins to doubt that Joe is who he says he is.  He is later seen sitting on Maxine’s bench caressing an crowbar.  2012 might not be Gail’s year.  Again.

What storyline would you like to see next year?
As imagined by http://markllewellin.blogspot.com

(this is, of course, a spoof and brilliant, too, isn't it?)


Suburban Princess said...

Except that...Carla's brothers are not Connors ;o)

Tvor said...

Good point!

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