Sunday Comments, September 14

Lines of the week:

• Michelle "I'm still very much uncool"
  
• Stape to Fiz "If I slip let me bang my head on every step, just save the telly!" (boys and their toys!)
  
• Violet to Jamie about Lauren "Don't say anything about it to her though. You know what she's like" (um no, he doesn't actually)
  
• Steve about Jim "He didn't rip his shirt off, turn green or anything!"
  
• Liam to Michelle "I've got a girlfriend who's pregnant and a sister in law going out with a nutter. What is there to be happy about?"
  
• Lindsay (Tony's ex) "Tony likes to possess things and people"
  
• Jim "What about ye, Son?" (Yay! and we had a "So i have")
  

Hmmm so Tony left his wife for Carla and she says he's a control freak. I'm not surprised there. He has already showed signs of it. An him saying he can't believe he has to defend himself over something his ex said? Well, Carla certainly didn't know she was his ex (post divorce) and i never trust a man that jumps that much on the defence instead of being a bit more understanding and honest. Obviously, Carla didn't know anything about a wife or an ex wife and being as it was that recent, it would have been up front of Tony to say so at the start. A control freak certainly isn't going to admit to it, now, is he? It's sure got Liam's hackles up too. Something tells me his feelings for Carla aren't exactly brotherly. I would have expected Tony to have a posher house but i suppose it's the house he started off in and hasn't upgraded yet with the rise in his business fortunes. His ex thinks Tony would always come back to her but i disagree. He seems like the type that would be controlling, and if he still wanted someone he wouldn't let anything get in his way but if he is done with someone, he'd cut them off without a second look back. Do you mean to tell me that Tony didn't hear that noisy sports car outside his house nor notice it?

Why is it that the father of a baby is always the last to know? Maria told Audrey, and then Michelle and Michelle told Steve she'd tell him what was going on after. Mind you, it wasn't that long before she told Liam. I would have thought if Maria was going to tell anyone first it would be her roomie and best friend Fiz. But Liam is a family kind of guy even if he's young and has never had to had much in the way of responsibility. He's always been a good uncle to Ryan and now taking on the factory instead of running market stalls, i think he'd be ready for fatherhood. No, he didn't really want to be a dad just yet and because that, Maria decided to terminate. He turned around and proposed! The only thing is, he's tying himself to a wife and baby on what clearly seems to be a rebound from Carla, or to prove something to Carla.

Rosie sure got a shock when John laid down the scholastic law. And then she laid down the hormonal one. She's getting more and more brazen too! John seems to be as smug as any other soap male that is having an affair. Figures he and Fiz will be together forever and he'll get away with having it off with the local schoolgirl who lives on their doorstep. This is a soap. It's going to come out and probably in the worst way possible and John's ass is going to be grass. She made him change her mark to an A and he worried you could tell. Well duh, he used a red pen over a black one! I can't think she's even that smart. She told her mother not to copy it when Sally clearly said that subject was the very first essay John had assigned her. (months ago!)

I can understand Vi and Jamie not wanting to accept Sean's money. It gives him that much more of a hand over them, an obligation they would feel but in the end, Vi took the money without telling Jamie, as a loan and told Jamie that Lauren gave her the money. Not good, having that sort of secret already. So we have Violet's sister, Lauren showing up unexpectedly and straight out of the gate she's highly annoying. They certainly are two very opposite personalities aren't they? And clearly not that close either or Vi would have told her sister about the baby. She waltzes into the pub, charms the lads and ticks off Betty, never a good thing. Lauren knows Sean too but then Vi has known him for years. Yet another lodger for Eileen. She's going to get annoyed and just move out. That poor house must be heaving! Sean and sometimes Marcus, Vi and now Lauren plus Eileen. Jason, at least, has moved into the equally heaving Platt house. Lauren knows about the cash too. Very discreet of Violet to pull it all out in front of her. When did that happen anyway? I must have missed the scene where they were going to the pub to talk out an arrangement but they met up with Lauren instead and then Violet has the cash first thing the next morning. Looks like Lauren is a greedy little scam artist, too. Maybe not a proper scam artist, but she sure uses people to gain a little cash whenever she wants it. How much you want to bet none of it ever gets paid back?I'm actually surprised Lauren would urge Vi to tell Jamie the truth when it doesn't seem to be part of her own vocabulary unless maybe she prefers causing trouble even more than she worries about honesty. And how much you want to bet this one turns into the most annoying and pointless character ever with the most smackable smirky face ever?

Liz and Vernon's wedding plans are moving along. Liz isn't too keen on Vernon's friend Bob. I hope we get to meet this guy. Liz wants Andy to give her away instead of Steve who's bought her a pub and given her her dream job as manager. Nice. And to add to the wedding frenzy, Jim's back! Yay!!!!!!! Is it ever good to see him! He even took the news about Liz remarrying remarkably well. What i'm curious about is that in the past, Jim has been moved to a prison some ways away from Manchester and Liz had moved there to be nearer him. So is he now back closer at hand, say, in Strangeways? Or is that just a continuity burp? Doesn't really matter. He's served his time now. It's really good to see him back. Very surprised he wanted a coffee not a pint but i can well imagine the swill they serve in prison and pretend it's coffee or tea. He seems to have moved on too. I still don't think he'll ever love anyone but Liz, though. Liz knows very well Jim won't be able to stay away and he proved that. I don't care, I always thought Liz and Jim had great chemistry. The actors really do gel very well!

Doreen was all set to reject Norris until he proposed last week. Now Emily and Rita are going to sabotage him. If i didn't really know Rita didn't want Norris for herself, it certainly does seem like jealousy. I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you either. Doreen really did seem sad that Norris withdrew his proposal, though I don't think they'd have been very compatible anyway. Why on earth would Audrey buy a glass of wine for Maria in the pub when she knews Maria is pregnant? Boy i'm telling you, the continuity fairies were on the absinthe this week.

Hmm...What's going on with Ryan? Someone seems to be following him in a car? That can't be good. With all this upset with Maria in the salon, where are David and Sarah? Did i miss something there too?

Does Rosie only have the one blouse? the white ruffly one? Ok two blouses. Both white, low cut, one more ruffly than the oth er. Sheesh. That's a nice touch, showing Ryan having a mate that's in a wheelchair and it not being a big issue. Just mates on their way to school. New owners of the betting shop! That's Harry and Dan Mason. Where have you seen Harry before? He was Jim Fenner in Bad Girls (Showcase used to have that on. I loved it!). And Harry is clearly going through a messy divorce. Lloyd owed the former owner 400 pounds. Since when have we ever seen Lloyd gamble and to that extent? and the bookies walk in the first time and come looking for Lloyd? Contrived, if you ask me. Besides, i'm sure the new owners have taken on the business and that includes any debts owing by the customers. Looks like Audrey's son Stephen is coming for a visit too.

That's it from me for a couple of weeks. I'm on me holidays.

Sunday Cojmments, September 7

Lines of the week:

• Jerry to Mel "PC Mort, hold the fort!"
  
• Ivor to Doreen "I'm like an Everready battery, me" (Yeah but if she marries you, you'll be a little heap on the floor!)
  
• Fiz to Sally "As if you'd *ever* make a pass at my John" (how many shades of red did Sally turn?)
  
• Becky about Sarah "She's lucky i didn't give her head a side parting!" (go girl!)
  
• Fiz to Kevin "Are we mental or what?"
  
• Gail about David "He doesn't try to be obnoxious, it just comes naturally"
  
• Kevin to John "Those kids wearing you out?" (kid. singular. Your daughter.)
  

Well everything that Fiz has observed, added to Sally's very real crush on Stape, wouldn't that lead you to suspect things too? Even if it was completely innocent, seeing John's head so close to Sally's was the last straw for Fiz and now she's got Kevin's suspicions going too. Sean didn't help matters either, bellowing out "Are you going to tell Kevin!" within earshot of the garage. And let's face it. Kevin has a very real reason for suspecting Sal and she was rather economical with the truth when she explained about Fiz getting upset with her in the factory. She does have form after all. Doesn't matter that she's not actually doing the tutor, she *wanted* to. We know that and the signs are pretty obvious for anyone that's got a set of eyes but the eyes are on the wrong Webster woman. Like mother like daughter, though eh? I'm surprised Sally didn't smack Rosie after her impertinent remark about Sally knowing her way around the lads. Does Stape really know how pathetic he looks being led around by the nose and ordered about by a 16 year old over whose skirts he's drooling? Clearly not. Kevin's angry thinking Sally might be having it off with the tutor, he's going to go ballistic when he finds out it's his darling daughter. Unfortunately the circumstantial evidence against Sally is mounting up so Kevin decided to ditch Ashley and play a round of Spy on Sally in the Shops. Doing exactly what she said she was going to do. When he realized Sally really was just shopping, he nearly caught Stape and Rosie in their wherewithall! I had hoped Stape would climb out the window and down the drainpipe, scraping his shins along the way but no such luck.

Tony's back and it's obvious we have a freshly minted couple here. This week's omnibus again ended with a resounding smack upside a face in the factory, Carla's this time, from a woman that says she's Tony's wife!! I knew he had shifty eyes! Maria's up the duff. Accidentally. Again. What will Liam say and do? Ryan wants to play video games for a living. Children! Is Becky drawing her eyebrows on darker and darker these days?

For anyone that's got eyes, it's also clear that Becky's got eyes for Jason. David has eyes in his head and picks up on that pretty quickly and knows that Sarah isn't the most secure person so he's going to take full advantage of that and try to use Becky's interest in Jason to push Sarah and Jason apart. Sarah takes Gail's advice and does exactly what every insecure woman does when confronted with a possible rival, flaunt her coupledom under the rival's nose, complete with predatory and very posessive kissing and fondling just so she gets the correct message. And the more that Sarah becomes posessive, the more Jason is going to chomp at the bit in resistance. He has no intentions of being anything but mates with Becky but Sarah's jealousy is going to push him right at her.

Sounds like there's a lot of red tape and paperwork for someone to be named as a father if the mother doesn't want it to be, that's if they aren't married. Will Sean go to those extents? Even if this deal was what he'd agreed to, he didn't expect how he'd feel. The mistake was not having anything down in writing when they decided it. The long term friendship looked to be at a firm end until Jamie and Marcus intervened. Gotta say Yay for Marcus standing up to Violet. If Jamie is allowed to be part of the peacekeeping because he's now Vi's partner, well, Marcus is Sean's partner so it evens out. I was wondering when they'd get around to realizing that the flat over the Kabin is still empty. That's the one Steve and Karen lived in and that Michelle just recently vacated. Most people never live too far off the Street. And i wouldn't have thought Sean had to apologize for going to find out his legal rights. Perfectly reasonable if you ask me.

Ty and Molly made the mistake of blaming Paul for not clearning up the mess like he said he'd do. They should know by now that against Paul, all others are second class citizens. They really need to get their own place. Looks like Jack and Vera are thinking of moving to Blackpool. Norris, George and Ivor are now open rivals for the fair Doreen and she's having a great time playing them all off against each other. I think she's having more fun with the persuit than she would if she allowed one of them to actually catch her. Grilling the three men on their financial status, property ownership, *snork* Talk about shortlisting the interviewees! Did Doreen really think that Rita wanted Norris for herself or was his lack of prospects i.e. he's only renting a room instead of owning a property, make up her mind to eliminate him from the running? Or was her plan to push him into proposing after all? The competition was just too much for Norris. I wonder if he proposed specifically because he knew Rita disapproved. He's hardly falling in love has he? He's just facing old age alone and that's his whole trouble. Doreen then gets to string them all along a little longer deciding on which proposal to accept.

Looks like Kayleigh took the 20 quid for the theatre trip and decided to go on it all by herself, via the back window. Finlay isn't the brightest little spark is he? Rather than tell the honest truth, he could have lied and said he'd heard something out the back. Anyway, Kayleigh got busted well and truly and told Jerry a few home truths. I doubt it will change his ways for longer than 5 minutes but it means the end of Eileen and Jerry's relationship, gone down the same road as Lloyd and Jodie's. Jerry just has too many responsibilities even if he shirks most of them. I'm pretty sure Rosie and Sophie share a bedroom but the bedroom Stape and Rosie were in didn't look very much like there was another bed in the room.

Sally forth

Sally Webster is one of my all time favourite characters. I've enjoyed watching her evolution through the years. The only good thing about this dreary and horrific storyline we're seeing now with the lackluster feckless teacher and Rosie is Sally's part in it. She's the one that developed the crush on Stape and he knocked her back. Now, absolutely nothing is going on between them, no thanks to Sally, but Fiz thinks there is. Everyone has spotted that Sally has a crush except Kevin of course. But now Fiz's suspicions are boiling over. She's already lamped Sally one for an innocent "Oh i've got something in my eye".... Was it innocent? Probably. It's a factory, there's probably a lot of dust and stuff floating around. Fiz knocked it out of her eye and now she's got Kevin suspicious too.

Let's face it. Kevin has a right to be suspicious. Sally's got a history. Greg Kelly. Ian Davenport. Alex the builder. That doesn't even include the men she got involved with when she and Kevin weren't together (Chris Collins, Danny Hargreaves, Martin Platt). I laughed this week when Fiz apologized to Sally and said it's not as if you were coming on to him. Sally looked everywhere but at Fiz at that one! Well she wasn't. not this time, but she's still got lingering feelings.

Fiz knows there's something up but she doesn't realize it's the school girl seductress. That's the part that's really getting up my nose though. It's so irritating.

Still. Perhaps John has a history too. He was together with Fiz. That was before she was on the show because we never ever heard about it. Yet the first time she was on the sh ow, she was Roy and Hayley's foster because she wasn't yet 16. She then disappeared for a few months and then returned and got a job at Underworld, having got 10 GCSEs and left school at 16 rather than do A levels. That means John must have gone out with her when she was 16, probably just barely 16 so as to be legal and after she'd left school. I think we were told he was doing some dj work in a club when they met but he'd have been a teacher by day. Anyway, he obviously has a taste for younger women. He's back together with Fiz and i have no doubt they did have a proper relationship even though he would have been about 10 years older than her. Rosie pouts at him and flashes a bit lf cleavage, and his will power goes right out the window. Yes another 16 year old between the sheets! Rosie is working him for all she can get and it was mainly because her mother had told her about her crush. She got pissed off at her mother for something after that and decided this would be a fine way to get back at her.

The shit is going to hit the fan though, over the Christmas episodes. Boy is it going to hit the fan. I'm saying nothing more.