Wednesday 29 February 2012

Coronation Street storyline praised by Alzheimer's Society

Last week on Coronation Street, Eileen Grimshaw - who is currently dating fireman Paul - found out that his wife has Alzheimer’s disease.

Alzheimer's Society hopes the storyline will get people talking more about dementia and the issues affecting families living with the condition.
Jeremy Hughes, Alzheimer's Society Chief Executive, said: 'It is good to see Coronation Street featuring a dementia storyline and one that tackles such a rarely spoken about subject. If a carer develops feelings for someone else they may feel very guilty. Having such a high profile soap covering the issue will hopefully enable more people to feel comfortable talking about it. We know from talking to people that everyone experiences dementia differently and relationships they have are very different too.'

In the coming months the storyline will explore Paul's guilt as he embarks on a relationship with Eileen and how in turn Eileen copes with being the 'other woman' in a very complex and unusual situation.;

Tony Hirst who plays Paul said: 'Since taking on this part, I have learnt so much more about dementia and how it affects not just the person with the condition but has an impact on the whole family. I am really enjoying the opportunity to help raise awareness about this devastating condition.'

There are currently 750,000 people with dementia in the UK. Of this, there are 16,000 people with dementia under the age of 65 yet it is estimated that the number is much higher.

Jeremy said: 'The fact that Tony's wife is in her 40s will hopefully help spread the message much further that dementia can affect younger people too. Many younger people with the condition fail to get an early diagnosis as they put off seeking help. We would encourage anyone who's worried about their memory to visit their GP.'

Visit the Alzheimer's Society website

Downton Abbey writer blogs at Coronation Street Blog

With Downton Abbey's second season recently gracing our screens in Canada, it's interesting to note that its creator, Julian Fellowes is a Coronation Street fan! Turns out he's also a fan of our sister blog, Coronation Street Blog and last October he wrote a nice chatty blog piece.

Rather than repeat the post here, since it was meant to be exclusive, I'll send you over there via this link where you can find out what Sir Julian's favourite things about Corrie are.

Growing up with Curly Watts

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog September 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

Actor Kevin Kennedy, who played the much-missed Curly Watts on Coronation Street, turns 50 on September 4. Happy (belated) Birthday, Kevin! 

I'm (ahem) almost the same age as Kevin and feel like I grew up with Curly on Corrie, he was one of the constants in my life for a very long time, telly-wise. I'd love to see Curly back on the cobbles. Isn't it about time that he returned?

Follow Kevin on twitter

Find out all about Curly Watts on and a character study here.

Tuesday 28 February 2012

Fat Brenda's Cream Horn

(This post was originally posted by Fat Brenda on the Coronation Street Blog in October 2011, reposted with permission.)

Hello loveys,

So Eileen and Becky are after me job are they? ‘Fat Brenda only does part-time!’ That cheeky witch! Lloyd put ‘em in their place though – bless him. It took me years to get rid of Eileen and she can whistle if she thinks she’s coming back here and eating me Viscounts and Blue Ribbands!

Oh loveys, can you believe Sally is working for Frank?! What a horrible thing to do. She should know all about being stabbed in’t back after Kevin and Molly and she’s working for that monster! Carla was very supportive of Sally when she had cancer but folk round here have very short memories – I mean look at Steve McDonald, he’s forgotten how much of a boyfriend murdering mare Tracy Barlow is!

And if you thought Frank was bad then his flamin' mother is summat else! Where the flaming hell did they get her from? 'I'm Frank's proxy.' Is 'proxy' the new word for annoying mum?

Frank's cleared out half the machines and stock! What an evil fella! It’s been like a trouble magnet ever since that factory went to the Connor clan!

  • A Polish lass dies after working illegally at night.
  • Paul Connor dies.
  • Liam Connor dies.
  • Tony tries to throttle Jed and bungs him in a basket
  • Tony Gordon burns it down armed with a shooter.
  • Luke pretends he’s got shares and robs money from Rosie.
  • Nick Tilsley works there and frowns an’ that and then leaves and frowns an' that.
  • John Stape buries a body in there.
  • Frank Foster gets involved and is flamin’ horrible and not right in’t head!

'This is maa fakt'ry'

Thank Cliff for that, Carla! You can flamin’ keep it, lovey!

In fact, while I think on, I remember summat about that Paul Connor driving the car that killed Michelle's fella, Dean, and they switched the drivers after the crash. History repeating itself loveys?

The trend of other lasses my age getting fit fellas is going strong with Eileen bagging herself a hunky fireman called Paul! I can only think that excessive exposure to smoke from his job has permanently damaged his eyes causing him to see everything through a smoky fog. Every time he looks at Eileen it’s like she’s in soft focus like that Crystal Carrington from Dynasty! As for Sally, she bedded Kevin and then Jeff the following night! I can only hope she had a bath or at the very least a Dettol wipe!

Sophie is devastated that her lying, cheating, illegitimate baby making weasel of a grumpy horrible greasy overall wearing flamin' dad isn't welcome in the family home! Kev thought he'd finally cracked it after buying Sally that bottle of £2.99 paint stripper flavoured wine from Dev's, but the Sally was not for turning!

Poor Sophie, 'Can I lend some money cuz I wanna go on holiday with Sian?' I'll tell you what lovey, why don't you steal a load of money of yer dad again... and then bang on about how folk aren't nice to him! Flamin' hypocrite!

I don't know what happened to Amber at uni-flamin'-versity but she seems to be acting like someone else. I used to like her when she were dating that gormless Daryl who made them kebabs and gave me extra meat for a quid. It's always the same, they go away and they come back totally different - I mean, look at Nick, he's left twice and come back totally different each time!

What troubles me at the moment is why anyone would actually like Tina. Rita wanders about telling folk ‘she reminds me of me.’ Really? Is that cos you were a club singer that oozed class and Tina runs about from fella to fella shrieking at anyone who says owt she dun’t like? She’s a good-looking lass loveys, don’t get me wrong, but she needs to do summat about that flamin’ attitude! If I were Tyrone I’d send her packing. She nearly ruined that curry Tyrone didn’t make for his new lass, and after all that effort of ringing through an order and then collecting it from Rosamund Street!

Ty told me he’s scared of getting hurt again so I told him, ‘Don’t be flamin’ soft, Ty! What’s up with you? Flamin’ hell, no wonder Molly had a wandering flamin’ eye!’ Hopefully I helped him come to terms with his insecurities!

I personally think Tina should be with Tommy, they both get on me wick and they both use too much fake tan. They could talk about how belting looking they are while spray tanning each other. A match made in heaven (or hell?)

I'm going now loveys, I've got a date with Doctor Carter - he calls it an appointment, I call it a date!

Tweeter me here.

Bren. x

Dedicated to our Betty. x

Roy Hattersley calls Corrie 'mean spirited' - is he right?

I usually avoid the Daily Mail at all costs and ignore rants about Coronation Street but this one has struck a chord of sorts with me.

Roy Hattersley writes in today's Mail about the passing of Betty Driver and how Corrie isn't the same show it once was when characters like Betty were at the forefront of the show. 

Now then, I love my Corrie. I've been watching it since I was a girl, and believe you me, that was a long time ago. But his words have struck a chord with me. I don't want to turn this blog post or this blog into a whinge, because Corrie always has its ups and downs. But for this fan, there have been too many downs this year and I still hope that whoever takes over from Phil Collinson will inject more humour into the show. This year has been the first year ever that I've given up on Corrie for a week or so because it became too tedious to watch when ITV used it as a cash cow, putting it on every night of the week to promote another show.

Anyway, have a look at what Roy Hattersley says - and let us know what you think.  Mind you, I don't know when the last time he watched the show was as he says in the piece that Audrey Roberts is 'walking out with a cross-dresser' and we all know that ended many weeks ago.

Corrie fan art

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora and  me on the Coronation Street Blog in August 2011.)

Coronation Street fan Christine Warren runs the wonderful Corrie fun pages. And she's also created this Corrie art work of Tyrone's dog Monica and Maxine's cat, Bella.   Entitled' Coronation Street Co-Stars', the artwork is painted on board in acrylic.

This is my painting, in oils, of Number 9 Coronation Street.

These days, the yellow and blue are quite a bit more faded and chipped on the real set, of course, and this was painted before Vera named it the Old Rectory.

My fiance is an artist and a talented musician. He draws me a cariacature birthday card every year. This one was from 2006. He also has written me a song for Christmas each year and 2010's, in honour of the Corrie Crazy documentary that we were in, is called Corrie Crazy. You can year it via a little jukebox on my own personal website here. 

If you've got Corrie art you'd like to share, do please send it in.

Monday 27 February 2012

Corrie's Amber - from awesome to awful

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog October 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

I used to love Amber Kalirai on Coronation Street. She was the cheeky kid who used to wind up dad Dev and I really enjoyed watching her on screen, she lit up every scene she was in. 

But what's happened to her now? She's dreadful. She's never been the same since she went off to University in that London. She dropped out and flopped back up north to sponge off her dad, give stick to Sunita and now she's nicking Sophie from girlfriend Sian.

Come back, lovely Amber. We miss you.

Corrie Canadian weekly awards: February 20 - 24

Happy "SO" Birthday Eileen! Nigel might have been a bit of a washout but she met a dishy fireman (And I've thought he was dishy ever since the tram crash)! She might have been embarassed by it all but it *was* funny!

Boomerang award: Gold star: Peter... yet again visits Carla. Does he tell Leanne? Does he heck.

One Upmanship award: Gold Star: Yes Chris, you are competing with Lloyd. Don't think we can't see it.

Bolt out of the blue award: Stunned Stars: Tracy is having twins! Steve kissed Tracy!

Biology fail award: Steve figures his swimmers are gold medal winners. No. It's one egg divided or two eggs that fertilized.

Fashionably ironic: Tracy's tshirt says "I'll lock you up" At least she knows what she's talking about.

Sour Grapes award: Crabby Star: Gail flirting with Paul only to find out he's dating Eileen.

The peasants are revolting: The factory is running amok without Carla, Frank and/or Hayley. It's running amok with Carla too.

Master Manipulator award: Gold Star: Chris again for pretending there's not much hope re his health. Tears and everything.
Silver Star: Tracy has obviously not changed. and.. Steve You Moron!

Job? What job? Gold star: Stella comes back from her second holiday, puts Tracy in her place and then leaves to visit Carla.

This Means War award: Gold Star: Carla is determined to fight for her factory. Anne is just as determined to stick up for Frank. (she looks a bit like Frank, too, don't you think?)

Delia Smith award: Who knew Frank could cook!? Creme Brulee?

And They're Off award: Gold Star: The contest competitors are at it again, with a new entrant (Sylvia) covertly playing her cards close to her chest.

Flamin' Cheek award: Frank took 40% of the equipment and supplies out of the factory! I bet he didn't take 40% of the debts though.

Continuity Fairy off duty: Sean said Carla hadn't even shown her face but Hayley had already been talking to her and Carla was right behind them in the office making calls.

Pants on Fire award: Paul is pretending it's his brother that didn't want Eileen to come in the house. That sounds like a load of horse hockey to me!

Lines of the Week:
Kevin "I didn't shout me mouth off" (you did, you know)
Bill to Kevin "Rule 1. You do not take them for granted. Rule 2. You DO not take them for granted. It's a hanging offence!"
Maria "Is there anything more boring than golf?" Tracy "Dev talking about golf"
Deirdre "Granny Blanche always said if she saw another stork coming, she'd shoot it and eat it!"
Sylvia "At all times maintain dignity"
Sophie to Sian "I love you and I'd never, ever, ever want to screw that up" (Phrase of Doom, there folks)
Deirdre "We could always sit in and eat nuts"
Kylie "A girl's got to look good when she's going on a hot date" Gail "Oh, been hanging around outside the One O'Clock Club, Eileen?"
Sylvia "Did Emily Pankhurst chain herself to the gates of Parliament so you could stand there having to work while pregnant?"
Deirdre to Steve "Tracy might not care what shows up in her bed but I'm the one that has to do the washing" (She meant toast crumbs, but that was a bit close to the knuckle wasn't it?)
Sylvia on her new knee "I reckon they got it from a Blackpool donkey the way it plays me up some days"
Eileen "Sally Webster does not suit smiling"
Frank "I *am* the victim" (see Flamin' Cheek award above)
Stella "I know it's none of my business but..." (you're right, it isn't. Go away)

Gail McIntyre - a wonder of a life

(This post was originally posted by Scott on the Coronation Street Blog October 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

With a new Muppet Movie on the horizon, our thoughts naturally turn to Gail McIntyre.  Weatherfield's very own Kermit the Frog has had the spotlight shone on her so often, it's easy to forget that she's spent 40 years battling against producers, audiences, and general sanity to reach her lofty position as a four-times-married mother of Satan.

Back in the Seventies, Gail Potter was the closest ITV got to the kind of swinging chick who was shaking her hotpants in front of Mud on Top of the Pops.  Remember, this was the decade that saw Deirdre Hunt and her Glasses of Doom introduced as the new Street siren; standards were lower then.  It was probably something to do with the Three Day Week. Gail was a friend of Tricia Hopkins, who is one of those characters that turns up in the Street's history and provokes a big chorus of "who?" amongst even the most loyal fans.  Tricia was the daughter of Nora Batty and that Welsh bloke out of Please Sir!; unsurprisingly her parents felt that appearing in top-rated sitcoms was a better way to spend their time than bringing up a ratty teenager on a Manchester back street and so the entire Hopkins family vanished soon after.

Gail became friends with the legendary Elsie Tanner, and was soon her tenant alongside the flighty Susie Birchall.  This triumvirate of man-eaters decided to divide up the male population of Weatherfield between them, though while Susie and Elsie took out temporary leases, Gail decided that she would go fot the full marriage option every time.  Gail was soon Mrs Brian Tilsley, spending her evenings perming his hair and pretending to read the New Testament to pacify Ivy.  Ivy disapproved of Gail, you see, firstly for being the daughter of the secretary from Reggie Perrin, and secondly for not being a Catholic.  These were the days when religious allegiances could be used as a plot point; in the 21st century, having any kind of faith immediately marks you out as a nutter and next thing you know you'll be falling off a church roof (qv Sophie Webster).

To her credit, Gail refused to submit to the blitzkrieg that was Ivy, and managed to eke out a happy existence in a maisonette away from Coronation Street with Brian.  To this day, they remain the only family to have achieved any kind of happiness more than 100 yards from the front door of the Rovers.  It couldn't last, of course, and soon Gail and Brian ended up living with Ivy, in scenes reminiscent of the Battle of the Somme, only without the feelgood ending.

It didn't help that Gail had given Ivy a grandson by this time, Nicky.  Being a modern woman, Gail decided that working in a greasy spoon would be more enjoyable than wiping a toddler's backside (who can blame her?).  More conflict followed, as Ivy felt she had done a bang up job with Brian and Gail should follow all her parental advice.  By this time, Brian was in the Middle East, doing something with oil pipelines; on his return, it was revealed he had been laying a few pipelines of his own, and he and Gail separated.  She took up with his cousin Ian, because once you've had a taste of Tilsley, you can never get it out of your system.

This caused a lot of problems when Gail reunited with Brian and became pregnant.  The timelines were sufficiently vague for him to be suspicious as to Sarah-Louise's real father and, since this was the Eighties and Jeremy Kyle hadn't been invented yet, there was never any real way to be sure.  A blood test said that Ian couldn't be the father but the damage was done, so Brian went off to get stabbed in an alleyway and marry Leeza Gibbons.

Widowed in her thirties, Gail did what any sensible woman would do and hooked up with a toyboy.  Martin Platt was a nurse, which is always a good option when you have two small children; he's caring, enthusiastic, and has ready access to a supply of tranquillisers.  She was soon knocked up, because condoms are like unicorns in soap operas - spoken about but rarely seen.  Gail was about to have an abortion, but Martin persuaded her not to bother.  Historians have subsequently spoken of this in the same tones they use to describe Mrs Hitler's decision not to bother with her diaphragm one night in 1888.

Married to her second husband, and living a life of domestic bliss at number 8, Gail soon settled into a pattern of happy drudgery.  She had her children, none of whom could act; she had a cafe to run, ignoring its awful orange tiles; she had a friendship with Alma and Sally, both of whom looked down on her on a regular basis.  Things were trotting along nicely, until Nicky moved to Canada.  He came back to England with a missing consonant and a new face.  Almost immediately, he was spooning with Leanne Battersby and taking his shirt off at the slightest provocation.

Gail was, naturally, outraged.  The old Nick(y) had been a sweet young Manchester boy; the new one had a posh accent and a floppy hairdo and a fondness for lying around in glass tanks in pop videos.  She banned him from seeing Leanne, though this had little effect; for some reason, teenage boys like scraggy slappers who'll give you hand relief during the adverts on Beavis and Butthead.  She was soon distracted by Sarah-Louise's complaints about stomach cramps and tendency to throw up her Pop-Tarts, and suddenly Gail was a granny.  Not even Ivy's death in a convent could shine a little sunshine into her miserable existence.

Forced to spend his life staring at Gail's miserable face and her demon spawn, Martin did the only sensible thing and hooked up with Jill Halfpenny.  His marriage to Gail crumbled, and he was forced to live in a bedsit while Gail turned number 8 into a home for David Platt, Sarah-Louise and Bethany; it was like The Addams Family, but with considerably fewer laughs.

Life as a grandmother strangely suited Gail.  It gave her the opportunity to be sanctimonious and hectoring without any of the responsibility.  It also gave her time to acquire a third husband, Richard Hillman, whose devotion to family life involved cracking Emily Bishop on the head and stealing Vera Duckworth's savings.  Gail wrestled with her conscience - after all, it was only Maxine who died, no-one important - but she finally reported Richard to the police.  Her reward was a dunk in the canal with her family, and another of her husbands bit the dust.

Little David didn't take this whole "stepfather turns out to be a psychopath" revelation well, and decided to turn into Satan.  It was easier than doing his homework, anyway.  As it turned out, he had quite the talent for evildoing, and he gleefully persecuted his mother with cards from her dead husband.  No, the second one.  At the same time, Sarah-Louise took up with Todd Grimshaw, as they bonded over a mutual love of musical theatre and the films of Bette Davis.  She was happy when she became pregnant, though less happy when Todd suggested "Liza" for their little boy's name.  When Todd came out the closet, by trying to kiss potential Tory MP Nick(y) Tilsley, war was declared.

The battle between Gail and Eileen Grimshaw is one of the pivotal moments in British history; indeed, it's been concluded that the victory at Trafalgar would only have been more impressive if Nelson had been wearing a ratty blue dressing gown and slippers.  The two women grappled on the cobbles in the least dignified wrestling match since Big Daddy forgot to do up the poppers on his leotard.

Sarah-Louise overcame the trauma of losing a baby by immediately shagging her ex's brother, creating a whole new layer of hatred between the Grimshaws and the Potter-Tilsley-Platts that hadn't even been thought possible.  When Jason then bunked off the wedding, UN Peacekeepers were recalled from Somalia to stand guard in the Street.

At their second try, Sarah-Louise managed to snare her man, largely by ignoring her brother's suicide attempt.  This romantic gesture failed to win her many plaudits, so she left for Italy with her mute daughter and abandoned her marriage.  David took the opportunity to turn his somewhat co-dependent relationship with Gail into truly disturbing territory, with the two of them grappling with a familial bond that Oedipus would have thought was a bit intense.  Sometimes, a ray of light shone through the heavens, as when Gail persuaded Tina to abort David's baby; this was a move that even Pro-Life campaigners had to admit was justified.

As is usual with Gail, she took it a bit too far, and hooked up with Tina's kitchen fitter father.  Yes, she ended up with a very nice worktop, but was it worth it?  Soon she found that sleeping with the son from Home to Roost had its down side, when he revealed himself to be a manic depressive with enormous debts.  By this point, Gail was just happy to meet a man who knew her name the next morning, and so she married him anyway.  The full horror of what he'd done soon hit Joe, and he decided to fake his own death.  He said it was for the insurance, but he was probably thinking of a life in Bolivia without Gail. Things went wrong, and when he ended up drowning in Windermere, Gail turned to David for help.  You can imagine how well that turned out.

After a few months in prison Gail Potter-Tilsley-Platt-Hillman-Platt-McIntyre returned to the Street without a job or any respect.  Now she's a cleaner at her son Nick(y)'s restaurant; some would say that scrubbing bogs is demeaning, then they remember she has slept with Chris Quinten. She's taken David's marriage to Kylie with characteristic grace, trying to pay off the bride and bawling in the street at her.  I sincerely look forward to the day she finds out Kylie is pregnant.  In fact, I'd pay to see it.

How to spot a good Corrie actor

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog October 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

Last night we went to the theatre to see Tracie Bennett as Judy Garland in End of the Rainbow and, well, I was absolutely blown away by her performance. The acting, singing and energy of the show which was primarily a one-woman show, was incredible. It's one of those shows that's going to stay with me for a very long time.

Tracie, for those older Coronation Street fans who'll remember, played Sharon Gaskell on Corrie.  Sharon was a fragile soul, engaged to be married to a bloke called Ian who had an affair with Natalie Horrocks and one of the most mesmerising scenes on Corrie was Sharon in her wedding dress bawling her eyes out on the cobbles after she ran out of her winter wedding, snow falling around her.  Tracie seemed to take that vulnerability and fragility of Sharon a little and you could see glimpses of it last night in the way she portrayed Judy Garland too.  There was also a lot of Elsie Tanner-like feistiness and physical resemblance in the way she played Judy Garland and we wondered why Tracie hadn't been considered (or maybe she had?) for the role of Elsie in The Road to Coronation Street.

Anyway, in the interval, Sunny Jim and I discussed how, very often, we only ever appreciate how good an actor actually is when we see them away from our favourite soap.  For instance, I never knew what a comedy talent Bev Callard was until I saw her in Two Pints of Lager and realised there was a lot more to her acting talents than being Liz McDonald. Until TV actors are there, on stage, live and up close and personal, you never really get that feeling of how good they actually are, what they're capable of. When we watch Corrie actors on Coronation Street five times a week, we become too comfortable with their characters, I think, and often fail to see the person behind the character, knowing that they're capable of acting their Corrie socks off if only the writers and powers that be would let them.

Anyway, I haven't enjoyed a theatre show like this in a very, very long time. 

Check out the website here as the show's on UK tour.

Sunday 26 February 2012

Sunday Canadian Corrie Comments, February 26

Ken is 72 this week and Deirdre is still making her sad little pots! Tyrone has told Kirsty about Molly and Jack. She seems quite supportive. Sophie wants to go on holiday with Sian so she's doing housework to suck up to Sally. She says it's an educational trip. Sally should let her go. It's quite obvious she's left school. "I need to lend some money" ?? No dice.

Sally has put Kevin well and truly in his place. Again. Well what did he expect? She's done that before, have a one night stand with him but having no intention of more. She fell into old habits as she said. After what he's done, there would be no trust there ever again if she knows what's good for her. Kevin always thinks a simple I'm Sorry will do the trick. And maybe a shag. Ok, ok, by letting him stay there long past when he needed to, he did assume she was giving him signals but he's single minded and saw what he wanted to see. Back to square one Kev. And wine and flowers aren't going to sway her. Now Jeff is back in the picture and Sophie doesn't like it one bit.

Chris is lying about his condition which seems to be improving. Is anyone surprised? He might not be violent about it but he's just as manipulative as he ever was. He's counting on Cheryl's sympathy and he wants to rekindle the old magic. He just might manage it too. Cheryl might be trying to push Chris towards Maria but why is that i wonder? Didn't work though, he was rather rude to her in the pub wasn't he? I do wonder though. Even if radio therapy has reduced the tumour, it's still there isn't it? Isn't that like a ticking time bomb in your head just the same?

Anyway, Lloyd is starting to really kick back. Chris' presence is getting more and more in betwen them, just as Chris hoped of course. He's scuppered their holiday.

Eileen's decided to try an online dating site and Rosie has decided to help her. Unfortunately, she wasn't a lot of help, putting a photoshopped pic and false information in the profile and the bloke that turned up was quite rightly annoyed that he thought she was 40 as per her profile. He didn't stick around. It didn't help that Eileen got her head stuck in the factory railings trying to take down a birthday banner!!! But looky who rescued her! Fireman Paul from the tram crash (he was the one that was helping to rescue Molly!) Always thought he was a bit of all right. Sally remembered him and came over all previous and even Eileen thought he was lovely. It's true, what Eileen went through is pretty humiliating but it was pretty funny, too.

Eileen's nerves got the better of her after Gail made fun of her but Paul had other ideas. Is he too good to be true? It was a laugh seeing Gail trying to flirt with Paul and then seeing her face when she realized he was waiting for Eileen, and even better when Eileen busted Gail's lies about her being the owner of the Bistro. Cute scene with Jason, Sean and Marcus spying through the front window! Paul had to duck out of the date a bit early and Eileen decided to return his phone to him at his house. (How did she know where he lived again?) Ah but there's more there than meets the eye.  Eileen does put herself down too much. I think she's lovely and i really like the hairdo she's had lately. It's very flattering.

Paul's discomfort at Eileen arriving on his doorstep has nothing to do with a brother who's just left his wife and is too proud for people to know. That's bull$hit. So he takes her out on another the Rovers. His story is just too perfect and as Marcus soon found out, there *is* a woman in the picture and Marcus caught them looking pretty friendly

Steve is at a pretty low point after his father's sentencing. Jim blames Steve and Steve blames himself. Becky is put out that Tracy is behind the bar and still can't seem to move on. Tracy is suffering lethal morning (all day) sickness and no, i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy) Now we've discovered that she's having twins!!! She seemed genuinely scared at the idea of trying to cope. She does have flashes of it when she's not scheming.  But it seems like Steve's so vulnerable that he was willing to take on Tracy rather than her have a termination and mark my words, that's the biggest mistake of his life.

Tracy taunting Becky in the bog made it very clear she's not changed. As for her barbs about Becky not knowing what it's like to be pregnant, she does. She's been pregnant twice, and miscarried twice. Poor Becky is heartbroken. But she's got Hayley and, it seems, even Sylvia with words of wisdom. Now we get to watch Tracy lord it over everyone smugly, especially Becky and the slap line forms to the left.

Stella gets back from holiday and is a bit taken aback to find Tracy behind the bar and doing staff rotas. Well she's put her foot down and her dukes up, she's a match for Tracy on the insult front, i must say. And i chuckled at Sylvia, tipsy, watching the exchanges and adding her two pennies worth in. Stella is back, boys and girls, for 5 minutes at least. Then she was off to council Carla. Again, someone she barely knows and she's dishing out sage advice. Carla was right, no matter. it really wasn't Stella's business yet the powers that be seem intent on pushing Stella into every storyline as Mother Advisor who has all the answers.

Carla is managing to get along and who's sniffing around yet again? Peter of course. For someone that says he doesn't have feelings for her, he sure can't stay away. She's in a pretty sad state and the factory is running amok. Frank gets bailed after all and it's panic stations! Frank's mother is back and sticking her fingers into the pie.

Now Carla has to contend with Anne who's not going to make things easy. I can't imagine the hell Carla is going through having to put up with that woman and knowing Frank is not behind bars. She's hanging on by a thread and meeting that client who got a bit familiar on top of his questioning her about Frank was just too much too soon. The flirty old ways have come back to haunt her unfortunately. And it's Stella to the rescue again, or St. Ella as we're calling her on t'UK timeline.

Anne seems to have had a flicker of doubt but Frank used his bully boy ways to push it away.  And can you imagine him being able to cook creme brulee? She really knows how to push Carla's buttons and is doing a great job of playing "good cop" and making Carla look like a raving lunatic. AND I think Frank came by his oily manipulative personality quite honestly. Frank didn't last long with his mother in the factory. Two days in and he's setting up elsewhere and taking his 40% of everything, equipment included. Now *that's* pressure!  God his mother's awful isn't she? What a great character and a smashing actor!!! Carla really shouldn't have run after Frank and shouted at him. It only gives his case more credence, showing her up as unreasonable. They'll say she's not really afraid of him like she says she is. I've got a good solution for Carla's lack of machines, start two shifts. Daytime and evening. Sorted.

Instead, she's had to lay off people. Becky and Eileen as last in first out and neither of them were overly upset, they know it's Frank's fault not Carla's. And Becky and Eileen ended up warring over the cab job and Lloyd was firmly in the middle. Really though, if anyone should get the job it should be Eileen who has masses more experience. Sally was next on the block but she didn't take it well at all. In fact she turned very bitter because Carla laid her off because she knew Sally had some financial support from the money she got from Kevin. But to be fair, she should have kept on with the seniority list but the rest of the staff that probably qualified are extras, not main characters.

There has to be some conflict after all and Sally is the perfect one for it. And her whining about her job giving her something for herself was just annoying. Sally makes it sound like she'll never get hired back on once things start looking up! She's snapping everyone's head off including Sophie and Kevin.  If she continues to insult Carla like that, she won't have to worry on that score. As i said, there has to be conflict and it's turned Sally so bitter that she doesn't even believe Carla about the rape anymore.

Amber took Sophie to a gay bar. So is Amber gay? or Bi? It's given Sophie something to think about at any road. And why wouldn't she want Sian to know Amber took her to a gay bar? Sylvia's radar went up when she overheard the prize that Norris and Mary were going for in their latest competition and she nicked the entry that Mary threw away. Uh oh. You can see where this is going can't you? What's the legal form on this? Finders Keepers? I really love Marcus and Sean together. They're so natural aren't they? I think it's because Marcus is such a lovely bloke and is the anchor...dare I say it? The Voice of Reason ;) that Sean needs.

Wait...There's a warehouse in Underworld? that must be that little bit on a "balcony" over the shop floor we see sometimes. It's not big enough for a proper warehouse. Tommy is still drooling and turning pea green with envy over Tina from afar who is revelling in having a nice fella for a change.

A Salute to the little people

(This post was originally posted by Scott on the Coronation Street Blog in October 2011.)

We've all seen the press releases.
Here's Coronation Street's feisty new family, the XXXs.  Coming to our screens next month, the family will stir things up with the established residents and create mayhem.  The Street's producer said "I'm delighted to introduce this talented group of actors who are bound to be taken to the viewers' hearts from their first appearance."
Then, six months later, there's a terrible fire that kills all of them, or they all spontaneously decide to move to Argentina or something, and the audience barely notices they're gone.  Think of the Harrises, the Hopkins or the Mortons.  Remember how little you mourned their departures.

Sometimes though, we get a character by the back door.  Someone turns up for a brief stint, catches our eye, and next thing you know they're behind the bar at the Rovers and it's like they were always there.  They're the characters who are a little bit different, a bit strange.  They're the bit parters and we salute them.

When a new family is introduced, the writers and producers prepare a "Bible" about them - character outlines, relationships, secrets.  It's written in that Bible that Mindy isn't really Avril's mum, or that Bobby is a recovering alcoholic, or that Petra used to have a conjoined twin.  The scriptwriters then refer back to the Bible as they write these new, unfamiliar characters.

If you're only signed up for three episodes though, the writers can go to town.  They can do what they like with a bit-part character and, when this combines with a great performance, it can strike gold in a way the manufactured families and intentionally created characters don't.  It also means that the writers can make it up as they go along.  Becky could suddenly get a half-sister, or Julie could be Eileen's dad's secret love child, because there was no restrictive Bible tying the storyliners down.

Some of the Street's stalwarts began life as cameos and guest appearances.  Roy Cropper was just Deirdre's odd neighbour in the bedsit upstairs; now he's a pillar of the community.  Mary and her competition entries were a two line joke which is still funny years later.  Norris Cole was simply Derek Wilton's nemesis, nothing more, and now he runs the paper shop.  Next to him is Rita Sullivan, nee Littlewood, who turned up for a week in 1964. Now Barbara Knox has to be physically dragged off the set at the end of each day.  And Emily Bishop, who's been in the show for fifty years, started out as a character so insignificant it took the writers a year to even give her a first name.

So how do you turn a one-episode role into a career?  Here are our tips for becoming a regular:

1.  Be funny.  New permanent characters come with jobs, mortgages, responsibilities.  They have to be a bit grounded.  You're barely in the show so make us laugh.  Think of Julie, who started out as Kirk's flighty new girlfriend who worked in a travel agency and had two previous fianc├ęs.  She was kooky and dizzy and thought Kirk was interesting - what's not to like?

2.  Give it your all.  Craig Gazey was only in the show for a couple of weeks as David's odd cellmate in Borstal.  On his last day, one of the cameramen said to him, "You'll be back."  It seemed the whole crew had enjoyed his performance, and sure enough, a few months later Graeme was released and he moved onto David's floor.

3.  Don't worry about being realistic.  Let's be honest; Mary doesn't resemble a real human being, but that doesn't mean she isn't amazing.  You're barely onscreen so the more bizarre you are the more likely you are to make an impression.  Steve's date Beth was a right oddball, and her son even more so, and now they've been invited back as permanent characters.  The writers can tone it down later once you're buying your breakfasts at Roy's Rolls on a regular basis.

4.  Don't be afraid to upstage.  The Mortons were a sorry lot, a family of strangely-aged children with Sinbad from Brookside at their head and the preacher from Poltergeist as the grandfather.  They were doing badly anyway, but Karen Henthorn's appearance as Teresa Bryant sealed their fate.  Teresa was more likeable and sparky than the rest of them put together; when she poisoned Jerry, it was hard not to be on her side.  It was no surprise that she was kept on while the rest of the family were packed off to Benidorm (and then the writers forgot she was even in the show, but that's a rant for a different day).

5.  Make yourself useful.  Tricia Hopkins needed a friend.  This young character needed someone to talk to, and so the character of Gail Potter was introduced.  Nearly forty years later, she's still here, while the entire Hopkins family were so rubbish they were written out shortly after they first appeared.  Gail filled a niche though; there weren't many young characters on the show, so she was kept on.  It's hard to believe today that the sour-faced old trout at number 8 was once the bright young future of the show, but there you are.

Stick with these rules, and you could be the next Betty Williams.  Play them wrong, and you'll be back on the dole faster than Monica the whippet chasing a squirrel.

Saturday 25 February 2012

Sue Cleaver wants a comedy Corrie wedding for Eileen

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog October 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

Sue Cleaver, who plays the wonderful Eileen Grimshaw on Coronation Street, has said she wouldn't put money on Eileen ever getting married again, but if she did it would be a comedy wedding.

She told TV Times: "I can't see it. It would be very funny if it did happen; it would have to be a comedy wedding. Steve McDonald could be matron of honour! She wouldn't have a big posh event; she'd disappear and do it, or it would be in the Rovers. Although if Julie got her hands on organising it, God help her; it would be horrendous!"

Sue thinks new fella, fireman Paul could finally be 'the one' for Eileen, but hinted that he has a big secret which could get in the way. She said: "Potentially, he could be. He ticks all the boxes and he's lovely and kind. There's just one obstacle standing in their way, but it's a very big obstacle."

But what is it? What? What?

Coronation Street actress lends support to LGF for International Coming Out Day

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog October 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

To mark International Coming Out Day, Coronation Street actress Julie Hesmondhalgh, who plays Hayley Cropper, has been helping Manchester's Lesbian & Gay Foundation raise awareness of issues around coming out.

The charity offer a 24 hour online ( and telephone helpline support for people questioning their sexuality, coming out and for those who are out and proud but need to talk. Julie helped on the LGF helpdesk putting calls through to the charity’s team of trained staff and volunteers.

She said: “Anything that lets people know that there is a safe space to talk about things is a fantastic thing. Coming out is something that you tend to associate with younger people, but actually a lot of people – as I’ve heard from being here today – have come in who are much older who have been living in a certain way all their lives, and now feel like it’s time to tell the truth about themselves but have no idea how to do that – especially how to address it with their friends and family."

"The vast experience of the people here and the counsellors, can help them with that and just make them feel safe in their decision and let them know that they are not alone.”

She added: ”It’s an incredible power of soap that you can educate people in a very gentle way just by familiarity. It’s something that people can relate to."
With thanks to Pink Paper for this story.

New Factory Stitcher (minor SPOILER)

(This post was originally posted by me on the Coronation Street Blog in October 2011.)

Wonderful news from ITV this morning! It seems they do listen to fans on occasion.

A few weeks ago, we got a glimpse of a character called Beth, (played by Lisa George) one of Steve McDonald's ex girlfriends. She and her gormless son, Craig, met with Steve at the Bistro for what was eventually a date from hell.

Most of the comments on the blog were positive. I know I loved the scenes, the actors who played the mother and son, and thought they would be great as Corrie regulars. Because I loved the character so much, I had to post this minor spoiler!

Well, guess what? The mum, Beth, at least is slated to be a new factory worker soon! I expect that means the current financial problems they're having at Underworld will be sorted at some point so that they can hire new staff. There's no word on when Beth will be back on our screens but I, for one, will look forward to it. Do I sense a new lady love for Kirk?

Developing Sian Powers

(This post was originally posted by Matt on the Coronation Street Blog in February 2011.)

Anyone on Digital Spy knows about my liking for Sian, who from the perspective of a 21-year-old provides something very nice to look at when she appears on screen. However, one problem seems to be how they show she is more than just a pretty face- and Sophie’s girlfriend.

Last month saw the second anniversary of Sian’s first appearance on the street, but since she split from Helmet Head, or Ryan as it says on his birth certificate, she hasn’t had much to do with any character that doesn’t have the surname Webster. The easiest solution would be for her to get a job on the street, that way they can have her interact with any characters who happen to be in that particular place of work. Here are the possibilities:

Audrey’s salon: They have been one stylist down ever since Natasha’s truly brilliant exit, so why not take someone else on, especially with Maria due to take over Michelle’s job at the factory

Dev’s shop: They’ve employed her girlfriend so why not? Then again that might cause problems if Sophie wants her old job back

The garage: Non-starter. I can’t see her wanting to work with the guy who destroyed her girlfriend’s family

The Kabin: Probably my favourite option, I can imagine Sian and Rita teaming up to put Norris in his place. I certainly wouldn’t want to be on the end of her feisty side!

Roy’s Rolls: Again they have been one staff member down since Kylie decided Ayia Napa was a better option than Manchester (good call, loved Ayia Napa when I went there). Plus I think Sian/Hayley interaction would be really good

The factory: Could work from the point of view of her interacting with a lot of other characters but I doubt Carla would take on anyone else

The Rovers: I’m sure having Sian and Tina behind the bar would encourage young male customers, but due to a little thing called the law this wouldn’t be able to happen until December 28th. Could work in the future though as I can see Sian as a barmaid

Any of these would definitely get her interacting with a lot more people and help develop her as a character apart from the Websters. Don’t get me wrong, Siophie are easily my favourite couple on the show, but as her and Sophie are for the long term, I think this needs to happen.

It has been reported she will befriend a girl who she meets on her forthcoming holiday, but if/how much we actually see her remains to be seen. Whatever happens I completely trust Phil Collinson and the writers to keep doing a brilliant job
Picture credit: This site

Friday 24 February 2012

Stella, we hardly know you!

(This post was originally posted by me on the Coronation Street Blog in October 2011.)

I was reading Flaming Nora's weekly update and a remark about trying to warm up to Stella hit a note with me. I've been thinking the same thing. I've tried, too, but I haven't really made that connection with Stella yet. I think it's got more to do with the fact that in the four months or so she's been with  us, we've hardly seen anything of her!

More musing about the subject here.

Sneak Preview of next week's Canadian Corrie, Feb 27 - March 2

Without further ado, here's a brief run down of next week's Coronation Street on Canadian Screens:

Frank sets up a rival factory and nicks the laid off Underworld staff. Sally has decided that she's on Team Frank. Meanwhile, Underworld is struggling to stay afloat.

Sophie goes out clubbing with Amber but Amber's games give Sophie doubts about her feelings for Sian. But she's got a radical plan to prove she still loves Sian. Chris continues to pretend he's dying and Cheryl falls for it and his charms all over again.

Fiz's trial is coming and Fiz is scared. Will she change her plea to guilty? And her past is lurking around a corner. John's back in town! The trial begins and it doesn't look good. Meanwhile, John has a plan to use Rosie to reveal his confession rather than turn himself in. When that goes horribly wrong, John goes on the run with Kevin speeding after him. As the verdict comes down in court, John's life hangs in the balance and Fiz is by his side. Will he vindicate her before it's too late?

Eileen discovers Paul's secret but there's more to it than meets the eye. Owen and Anna are still sneaking around. Sylvia's a winner, much to Norris and Mary's chagrin.

Rosie decides to split up Jeff and Sally, hoping to get Kevin back in the picture but her set up backfires. She also puts pressure on Jason to sell his flat.

For more detail and photos, see the Moosejaw Mercury at

Thursday 23 February 2012

Eccles, the wonder dog

(This post was originally posted by me on the Coronation Street Blog in July 2011.)

This is Tess. Tess is a border terrier, and Tess and her sisters, Phi and Maeve are TV stars. They in turn have played Eccles over the past couple of years on Coronation Street.

They've even got a website and a Facebook page - no kidding.

The main website belongs to Tess' breeder where you can see more photos of the dogs and there's even some video clips from the show and Harry Hill as well. Mouse over 'Coronation Street Eccles' and a menu will show to click on the video page.

Apparently all three dogs were used for the dunking in the canal when Ken met Martha. Marvellous stuff!

Are you warming to Stella Price yet? (minor spoiler)

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog August 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

Dodgy accents aside, Michelle Collins is a good actress but I'm not warming at all to the character of Stella Price and this fan sees her involvement in the rape storyline as a ploy to get her on side with the fans. And while she's a decent actress, Michelle Collins seems to be on a hiding to nothing trying to act against the Coronation Street quality that is Jane Danson and Chris Gascoyne (Leanne and Peter). Even little Simon Barlow steals Stella's scenes.

In another bid to give Stella Price another high profile storyline, The Sun reports that Stella will emphathise with Carla Connor's rape horror by revealing she's been raped in the past. 

I don't know, but this smacks to me of pushing Stella to the front of the show again, as much as possible and trying to force us fans to like her.

Anyone else actually enjoying watching the character of Stella Price on screen yet?

Fat Brenda's Steve Huison Horn

(This post was originally posted by Fat Brenda on the Coronation Street Blog in October 2011, reposted with permission.)

So loveys, the first day of preparation happened for me play and my Steve got his eyebrows waxed and his make-up done so he can look like a switchboard starlet like what I do!

The photos will be done next week and I'll pop 'em on here so you can see what I look like!

Me play is now called, "Fat Brenda: My Flamin' Story" and it starts at Harrogate in April. You can click on a linky to find out about tickets an' that. It's touring an' all so don't worry if you can't make it down to Harrogate.

Right then loveys,

See you in a bit for a ciggie.

Bren - follow me on that twitter x

Coronation Street chit-chat

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog October 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

It's time for another Coronation Street Chit Chat, a round up of all the Corrie news that hasn't made its way into its own blog post for whatever reason. 

Current cast:
Kate Ford (Tracy Barlow) lends her support to the Five Sisters Zoo Circus Bear Appeal fund. More here.
Alan Halsall (Tyrone Dobbs) will be presenting the awards at the Derbyshire County Council's prestigious Young Achiever Awards. Nominations close 14 October - vote here.

Sacha Parkinson (Sian Powers) says she's sad but excited. (spoiler through the link) More here.

Helen Flanagan (Rosie Webster) gets fringe extensions. Shock! Horror!  Pics here.

Brooke Vincent (Sophie Webster) says it's hard acting more than mates with her friend Sacha Parkinson (Sian). More here.

Brooke Vincent (Sophie) and Sacha Parkinson (Sian) presented singer Jessie J with an award at the MOBOs. Pic here.

Simon Gregson (Steve McDonald) supports appeal for soldiers. More here.

Michael Starke (Jerry Morton) and Denise Black (hairdresser Denise) are starring in Sister Act the Musical, on tour round the UK now. More here.

Wednesday 22 February 2012

Happy 72nd Birthday to Ken Barlow

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog October 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

Coronation Street celebrates Ken Barlow's 72nd birthday tonight.  It's a day late, as Ken was born on October 9, 1939 but he's still going strong, and on, and on.

See Ken Barlow - style icon

Buy the Viva Ken Barlow t-shirt here.

Read Ken Barlow's profile on

Corriecature of the week - Marcus Dent

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog October 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

These caricatures are created by talented artist Pickled Jo. Some of the Corrie cast even use their own caricatures for their profile pics on twitter, and I've long been a fan of her work here on the Coronation Street Blog. 

Today's Corrie caricature is Marcus Dent, played by Charlie Condou.

Follow Pickled Jo at her blog, on twitter, and join her facebook group.

Steve & Tracy - can you feel the love tonight?

(This post was originally posted by David (Clinkers) on the Coronation Street Blog October 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

Well, it has to rank amongst the great u-turns of all time. Burton and Taylor it was not. Steve sporting a dodgy hairdo, Tracy-luv resplendent in her M & S mac. A windswept canalside. A relationship made in heaven. Or probably Evans outsize store for the larger lady, given that Tracy will be the size of Jackson's chippy pretty soon. Yes, the coming together of the hapless lovers will be celebrated across the land. Or will it? Is it more a case that Steve and Tracy are so toxic when it comes to lurve that the only people then can no longer contaminate are each other?

I'd get a bet on down at the bookies that the MacBarlow paring will not last a year. Will Tracy revert to type once the Tracy Twins have made an appearance? Can Steve really settle into a relationship with Weatherfield's very own she-devil? Is it possible for them to survive together in a house filled with Tracy's never-ending supply of red tops and Steve's never-ending girth? Or will love win through? Deirdre may just need to buy herself a new hat next year . . .

Tuesday 21 February 2012

Recent awards for Coronation Street and cast

(This post was originally posted by me on the Coronation Street Blog in November 2011.)

The Royal Television Society North West Awards 2011 were held in Manchester at the Hilton Hotel on Saturday 19 November. 

Coronation Street has scooped the gong for Best Continuing Drama Award

Jane Danson, who plays Leanne Barlow in Coronation Street, has won the award for Best Performance in a Continuing Drama.

Daran Little has won the Best Scriptwriter award for The Road to Coronation Street.

If you haven't seen The Road to Coronation Street yet, I highly recommend it. You can order it on DVD from Amazon here.

Coronation Street has won the award for Best Post Production (Craft) for the Corrie Tram Crash.

Whatever happened to WARTS?

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog September 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

In a recent Corrie when the estate agent was showing the prospective buyer around Fred Elliott's empty butcher shop, Norris popped his oar in as an interested member of the Street's "Neighbourhood Watch".

Anyway, this got me wondering whatever happened to that other august body of Corrie business people, WARTS - Weatherfield Area Retail Traders Society? 

Fred was a leading light in that, and also the Square Dealers, and yet both networks seem to have been forgotten about despite the fact that the Street depends on small businesss to survive and there's no business network to support any of them. 

Bring back WARTS!

Julie Burchill: Invasion of the Corrie Snatchers

One of my favourite writers, Julie Burchill has written an interesting piece in Th'Independent today about Coronation Street. Well worth a read and it's here. Can't imagine why Corrie turned her down as a script writer though, she'd have been fab!

See also: Fat Brenda's Gay Horn - because you're worth it.

Should Debbie Webster return to Coronation Street?

(This post was originally posted by Flaming Nora on the Coronation Street Blog October 2011, reposted to this blog with permission.)

Hands up if you can remember Debbie Webster, Kev's gobby sister?  I've been thinking about her as Kev's been on the phone to her over the last couple of episodes while their dad Bill's been in hospital after suffering his heart attack.

This fan reckons it's high time Debbie Webster returned to Coronation Street to sort out her older brother and give Sally some cheek. She'd be a great comic foil for Sophie and Rosie too. 

Actress Sue Devaney, who played Debbie, went to on to star in Dinner Ladies. Read her IMDB profile here.

Who else wants Debbie back on Corrie?

Read Debbie Webster's profille on

Monday 20 February 2012

Alison King on Carla's rape storyline

Alison King, who plays Coronation Street's Carla Connor, has been talking to TV Times about Carla's upcoming nasty rape storyline with Frank Foster. And she says the storyline has left her "physically and mentally exhausted".

Alison says: "I feel a sense of responsibility to get it right. We all do. Half of it is instinct and the other half is talking to people and doing your research. Things look very bleak for Carla in the aftermath and it's been one of the most mentally challenging storylines I've ever done. I'm absolutely drained. I've had tears in my eyes for weeks and feel physically and mentally exhausted. It's always hard with a big storyline - I was pregnant when we did the Tony Gordon showdown."

Fat Brenda's Health And Safety Horn

Well loveys, it’s been another difficult time on the cobbles these past few weeks! After the near death of Stella we’ve had poor Carla’s rape and Bill’s heart attack! I don’t know what’s going on but it seems to be getting grimmer and grimmer round these parts!

What worries me is how Weatherfield General copes with the influx of folk from Coronation Street! In less than a year we’ve had Graeme in a car accident and all them

folk from the tram crash – Peter, Rita, Fiz and Sunita (sounds like a Eurovision act!) and the rest of the injured. We’ve had Sophie falling from a roof, Kevin under a vehicle, Chris and his brain tumor, Tracy with her head injuries, Leanne and her miscarriage, Carla’s overdose and lots flamin’ more! - I’d be able to remember ‘em all but I’m partial to a gin every now and again so me memory in’t what it was!

As well as stretching resources at the hospital the police have been flamin’ busy this past year an’ all! Walking through them hallowed police station doors we've had, David Platt, John Stape, Frank Foster, Claire Peacock, Eileen Grimshaw, Jim McDonald, Fiz, Peter Barlow and that's not all, there's been the fraud at the homeless shelter, drug dealers in fridges and loads more!

I’ve decided to help folk by doing a leaflet that I’ve posted through folks’ doors telling ‘em how to stay flamin’ safe an’ that!

Staying Flamin’ Safe An’ That

Hello local loveys, it’s me, Brenda, and I’m gonna help you all stay flamin’ safe an’ that. It’s easier than you think and by following me simple rules you’ll have a belting time without the hassle of hospitals or them police.

  1. Look carefully before crossing the roads especially if yer having problems with a family member and/or friend.
  2. Don’t visit bars and/or bistros under tramlines.
  3. If yer gonna drink cheap supermarket cider – and who doesn’t do that? – Then do not climb onto a roof especially when accompanied by a religious homophobe in eyeliner.
  4. If you are gonna get wed, please make sure the fella or lass yer marrying in’t killing folk cos it gets very flamin’ complicated, especially when Weatherfield Police get involved cos they have a nasty habit of imprisoning the wrong lasses!
  5. If you hit Tracy Barlow, make sure you do the job properly so she can’t recover and have you arrested cos, as we’ve discussed, Weatherfield Police will probably send you to jail unless you have actually committed a crime in which case they’ll flamin’ release you in a pair of fishnets to inflict more damage.
  6. If yer gonna buy garage equipment with a scratchcard windfall then don’t brag about it to yer business partner whose - now tragically dead - wife you bedded and had a baby with.
I was gonna write some more but I'm a bit uncomfortable on me cab office chair due to the two placcy bags I've taken to sitting on in case I get impregnated through sharing a seat with Seed McDonald! I thought worries like that would be a thing of the past now I've gone through the menopause but he only has to look at you and you can be in the family way!

If anyone's got any more rules for survival in Weatherfield then put 'em in the comments box and I'll jot 'em down and pop 'em through everyone's letterbox as soon as I can be bothered!

Tweeter me here loveys! Bye.

Corrie Canadian weekly awards: February 13 - 17

Explosion of Pink award: Man that was a lot of pink in the Bistro for the wedding decos but I did like Hayley's jacket!

Delusional award: Frank has convinced himself that he's done nothing wrong and later, that he will get away with it anyway. He ignored his bail conditions, admitted the rape to Carla and he used all his powers of persuasion to try to make her see that she would lose in court.

Put in your place award: Gold Star: Kirsty finally shut Tina up (for a minute) by flashing her badge.
Silver Star: Rita tore a strip off Tina, told her to be more responsible and mature - and she's right.

Movers and Shakers award: Obnoxious star: Dev reckons he can network on the golf course. He only owns one poxy shop not a world wide corporation but it's all about image for him.

Insufferable Award: Gold Star: Dev again, Now he's a golf daddy with a supposed prodigy 6 year old with a golf club.

Smart Cookie award: Gold Star: Simon knew Peter and Leanne had a row!

How the Mighty Have Fallen award (1): Carla really has reached rock bottom. Gotta hand it to Alison King, looking like hell, no makeup.
How the Mighty Have Fallen award (2): It's going to be a long way down to the cobbles from atop Leanne's high horse.

Mixed signals award: Gold Star: Peter knows how Carla feels about him and how Leanne feels about the whole thing, why does he keep sniffing around her? No wonder she can't get over him, and Leanne knows it.

Smooth Operator award: Slick star: Frank really knows how to push buttons, even with no evidence, he knows just what to say to get first Peter and then Leanne going.

Mug award: Gold Star: Sally's had a reality check from Pam.
Silver Star: Steve for that remark of Tracy's "If your dad can't see it, he doesn't deserve a mug!"

Devious award: Gold Star: Sally's right. Kevin does have a selfish, devious streak. But she's still a mug.

Taking for granted award: Gold Star: One shag and Kevin is back to leaving laundry for Sal to do and thinking all is forgiven. Wrong. Flowers and wine are a bit late in the game.

Bleach my brain award: Sophie wasn't too happy about the image of her parents having sex.

Suck up award: Gold Star: Tracy's really working hard to get Steve on her side.

Laundry Fail award: Dirty Star: Kevin, you could wash your clothes before going out in public.

Lines of the Week:
Frank "I just ask you to reserve your judgement" Sean "Justice will be done!" (as per soap law)
Dev "Self Important???? Me?????" (yes, actually)
Sally "He loved her one minute" Sean "And then raped her the next"
Owen "I see your water's broken!"
Frank "None of this would have happened if you had trusted me" (as much as admitting it then)
Sunita "If you're determined to squander our money, you squander it equally"
Frank "You want my opinion? Your husband. My ex-fiance. They're at it like knives"
Sally "As soon as his shoulder's healed, he's getting the elbow" (He's back and work, what more do you need?)
Amber to Dev "You couldn't motivate Johnny Vegas into a pie shop"
Owen "I build walls. And not just for a living"
Kevin about Bill's full English breakfast "What she don't know, she can't grieve over" (and she nearly had to)
Kirk "You can be very deep sometimes, Hayley, it makes my head ache"
Carla's mantra "I'm alive, I'm breathin', I'm makin' him pay"
Sophie to Rosie "Stick your head in the oven not the fridge, it's quicker"
Rosie "There's different kinds of oranges! It's mind boggling!"
Sally "I'm sorry Kevin but you're not THAT good!!"
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