Sunday Comments, July 27 and a dedication

I started writing these comments over on the Corrie.net guestbook quite a few years ago. I started keeping about 5 or 6 weeks' worth on my website which i still do but this blog contains them all since i started writing the blog. That's not my point. I meant to tell you about a long time regular poster over on corrie.net. In the beginning he always signed his posts ". from here". Turns out his name was Eric. He was a senior citizen who seemed to enjoy winding up the regulars. Some would get upset with him, some found him funny. As time went on, he seemed to be less caustic and more sardonic and we all knew this was just the sense of humour of a self-titled "cranky old man". He made a post about 2 weeks ago, first as Dot saying he was not going to post anymore due to "Woodbine's coffin nails" and then later the same day, as Eric, daring God not to send Dot "down there" and a memo to "Old Nick" saying not to let Dot pop his clogs. Anyway, i had a feeling that he was ill and that's how he was telling us. He didn't elaborate on it after that. Today his wife posted to say he'd passed away. As much as he annoyed and upset people at times, i really think he will be missed. He certainly kept the posters over there on their toes. So with him in mind, i dedicate this post to him. Eric aka ". from here", wherever he may be.

Lines of the week:

• Eileen "Do you, Long John Grimshaw, Take this woman..."
  
• George (Ivor?) to Norris "Think of it as a Doreen sandwich!" Norris "I'd rather not"
  
• Doreen leering at Liam "If i were 10 years younger..." Rita "30 ... and i'm being kind!"
  
• Kayleigh "I'm not some stupid kid!" (and proceeds to stomp up the stairs like a stupid kid)
  
• Jason "That will never be me. I do what i want" (i.e. under a woman's thumb)
  
• Liam to Jamie who's casting aspersions about the dog "He *can* hear you know!"
  
• Sarah "This time, I win!"
  

Jason's ok, and upright! Sarah figures it will be even better, since he's hobbling on crutches he can't escape out the window. Everyone was smiling at David except Sarah who doesn't trust him as far as she could throw him. (maybe that's bad taste considering Jason's topple off the scaffold?) Anyway, Bill realizes that the bars were unhitched and the fingers point to David. As they should. There's more bad news, no Maid of Honour. Candice selling speedboats? I can't see it, myself. Pretty lame excuse. What happened to the gig with the band? Audrey and Gail seem to take turns being David's defender and Audrey always gets caught in the middle. See, if i was David and i wanted poeple to believe me innocent (even if i was guilty) i'd keep my head down and not protest quite so much and not snicker and make idle threats. David certainly knows all the buttons to push and he pushes every single one to make his family react so that when they do, he can say "See? You don't like me!" How is Gail supposed to help him when he just won't have it. She's helping him by trying to keep him away but he can't see that. The combined family dinner went fairly well with the lubrication of plenty of wine.

And Martin isn't coming to the wedding. David figured Martin wouldn't like his son being banned. I'm very surprised David hasn't called Martin to whinge! Anyway, it really let David down. He really hit bottom then. He's writing a suicide note. Do you think he means it? Sarah doesn't but she did look to have a moment of doubt in the ladies' loo before Maria came in. Sarah tore it up! Maria is horrified. In spite of it all, Maria still has a bit of a soft spot for young David. Sarah thinks it's just one more desparate attempt to stop the wedding. Personally, I think he probably did mean it at the time he wrote it but I don't think he'll do it. He's far too interested in seeing what effect his schemes have on people. Everyone else is oblivious and everyone is actually all very happy for them. Gail and Audrey have booked them a Lake District honeymoon and Maria is apparently maid of honor. I hope she's the same dress size as Candice because there wasn't any time to tailor the dress! So David's car is gone. Will that mean something? We'll find out this week. Fun little scene with Jason and Todd admiring Marcus and Sean's new suit modelling :)

Roy is really at loose ends without Hayley. Laughed at Liam talking about Hayley going away and getting carried away, talking about Paul getting out of control and Hayley getting a sexy tan and...where'd you go Roy? Maria is all gooey over Liam, (and who can blame her) but giving him a puppy is a bit much at this stage isn't it? Liam wasn't too keen either but... awwwww how could you not fall in love with that lickle black fuzzy face? I think Liam is starting to warm to the dog. He's even named him after Ozzy Osborne. Molly comes to the factory to tell Liam that "something's howling" and disturbing the pigeons. Hello? Former Kennel Maid? Surely she'd know it's a dog. I suppose she was being facetious but it didn't come across that way.

Stape is *really* **seriously** creeping me out. See him holding a CD in a judicious position when Sally nearly caught them snogging? Eurgh! Since Rosie had checked Carla's flat last time, why wouldn't she still have the keys? yet she picked up the keys off a desk in the office. Rosie's going to be in his class and you can well imagine how *that's* going to go over.

Jodie and Lloyd made another attempt at a date with Eileen babysitting but Kayleigh didn't take kindly to it and kicked off, ruining Jodie's evening. Granada must have to have a stock of Freshco bags made up. Eileen drives! That's something you don't see very often. Leanne paid off Roger with Paul's investment and she's now got a partner. If he's as good a chef as seems to be, it could work.

Sean is starting to turn into DadZilla! But then him wittering on about where all the socks go in the laundry. That is a question that's puzzled the mind of many over the decades. Anyway, Violet wants to be surprised about the sex of the baby and Sean wants to know and what did he do? trick Marcus into revealing it's a boy! But Sean is right, a crystal, or a needle or a ring hanging on a string very often will predict the sex of a baby. I've seen it happen a lot! Marcus can't figure out if Sean is thick or selfish. He doesn't know Sean as well as we do. Selfish it is then. He must really care for Sean though if he was willing to forgive him.

Rosie has packed in her job and going to stalk John at Weatherfield high! So it looks like Doreen has a crush on George and Ivor, they're enjoying her attentions but think that it's actually Norris she wants. And Norris is acting jealous. I think that's only because she's taking his friends away and he doesn't want to share now that he's actually got some. Now with Doreen flattering him, he's going to think Doreen has a crush on him and finding out that Rita thinks that Doreen thinks that Norris likes her, makes him think that at least *somebody* does. Oh this is starting to sound like high school, isn't it? Never mind, Even though it's a storyline with Norris, at least it's also featuring Rita and Doreen!

Liz is turning 50 and now everyone has to come up with a surprise party for her. Well, Vernon's doing the organizing. Should be interesting to see what he comes up with. And one odd look from Michelle and Dev is worried everyone thinks he looks like he could be 50 as well. Well he doesn't look 30 if that's what he thinks and no amount of chin wagging and temple rubbing is going to make any difference.

Sunday Comments, July 20

Lines of the week:

• Todd to David "It's only kids that feel the need to compensate"
  
• Eileen to David for managing the happy Grimshaw family reunion albeit unwittingly "You're my little ray of sunshine!" (*snork*)
  
• Maria to Rosie "What did you think he was going to do? Come round to your house and play with your Barbies?" Rosie "He might have. He's going out with one" (right on both sides!)
  
• Rosie (after a private tutoring "session") "Liam who?" John to Fiz "Sally is the last woman you have to worry about"
  
• Gail to David "After what 'you' did today, I think you deserve to be in there." (Ya figure?)
  

Can't let David win. I can understand Sarah freaking out. There's been an awful lot of stuff going wrong and weddings are fraught with stress at the best of times. David isn't helping matters so letting him win is the wrong thing to do. Thus, Nice to see Todd standing up to Sarah and pointing out the home truths. Someone's got to. Todd was able to make Sarah smile and see the error of her ways. Jason gets to have his brother at the wedding. David gets made to feel left out yet again. Sarah's acting just as childish to him as he is but her pushing him isn't helping.They need to just ignore him without pushing his face in it. They're going to pay for it, big time. Now that the Todd problem has been breached, Sarah's back to being Bridezilla again. Wasn't it a hoot when Doreen related the story...to Sarah... that her friend told her about one bloke being so scared of the wedding he climbed out the window. Doh. Holy crap. Gail inviting Todd and the Grimshaws out for a meal? She was never that nice to him when Sarah and he were together!

David is clearly on the slippery slope to disaster, both social and personal. That lad is heading for a breakdown, he really is. Right now he's so selfish that he can't see how upset his mother is over the fact that her family is falling apart. All he cares about is causing as much trouble as he can. He even resorted to damaging the scaffolding in the building yard which caused Jason to have a serious fall. That's criminal intent, that is, though judging from his face, i don't think he really thought anything serious was going to happen. That's another one of David's problems. He doesn't think. Even calling 999 wasn't really enough to make it up for what he did and did you notice he told his mother it was *him* that made sure nobody moved him? They all said in the hospital David was first on the scene but Hayley was, wasn't she?

Roy and Hayley are back and Hayley's all smiles but did you hear what she said? Something about the two of them thinking of going to help starving children in Africa. Yet Roy insisted they come back from their little holiday early because he missed the cafe. What's he going to do from another continent? Roy also seems to have seen the error of his ways as well. He's thinking of making amends with Christian but Becky, remembering the thumping she's put on him, is a bit reluctant. Hayley said to Roy that she didn't blame him for what happened but she did at the time. I Laughed at Becky, giving Todd the wink and nod. But then she does that with Jason too and any other fit bloke! Anyway Roy has decided to make amends, as i said. Guess he ended up going on his own with out Becky. Just as well. Seeing Christian cower in the corner behind the record stacks might give Roy the idea that something's up. Doesn't matter. Roy found out anyway and Christian is nowhere to be seen. Well instead, Roy and Hayley got an offer to go to Mozambique to do missionary/charity work at the very last minute possible. In the end, there was only room for one and Roy realized that Hayley really needed to get away and she's gone to Africa on her own. Jason's accident made her realize that she really could get a lot out of helping people. (In "real" life, Julie H. had asked to have a leave of absence for the better part of a year to spend time with her family. She *will* be back.) Ken was going to be Becky's right hand man in the cafe but he doesn't need to now. I can just hear Blanche's dripping tone if he had.

Rosie got a bit bolder. She figured Liam could kiss her and she wouldn't tell. I think that's the thing that made him realize what she feels about him. Then finding out that she stitched up Maria on her date with Liam, he really tore into her. And who did he pick for his "witness"? Kelly, who was all over him when he first arrived at the factory. One bad day at work and Rosie is already thinking she won't make a career of the factory. See? She didn't want to go back to school because of her crush on Liam! Sally figured she'd be just the person to help Rosie over the humiliation of being rejected by an older man but only succeeded in making Rosie resent her more. It turned out to be the object of Sally's affections that helped her. I can't believe how fast John Stape caved into temptation. "No... no.. oh ... don't tell anyone ok?" Well you shouldn't have been surprised. Fiz couldn't have been more than 16 when she first went out with John and he'd have been in his mid 20s then. It has to have been. She was Roy and Hayley's foster while she was at school. She came back to the Street a few months after she left school at 16 with qualifications and we've seen her entire love life on screen ever since. Clearly John likes his women young and barely legal.

So Sally figures it's ok if Rosie keeps her private life to herself. Most people do have to keep some things to themselves. (Speaking about anyone we know, Sal?) Stape's already scheming and lying so his quick bonk with Rosie wasn't a one-off. She's using Carla's flat! Talk about taking advantage! Now. They kept going on about how it was a kiss the other night but why would John have taken a shower when he got back home if that's all it was? Well it's more than that now and there's Rosie, with her chest spilling out of her bra and promising not to tell anyone about a little secret or even a bigger secret. If they hadn't done anything before, they certainly have done now. The man is made of jelly and Rosie has now got the idea in her head about going back to school and be taught ... by John! Rosie is also pursuing him with a vengeance. It's not going to end well, that's a given.

Kevin comes back from Italy draped in football colours and he looks to have had a very good time. Jerry had even better time, getting so drunk he jumped into a fountain...naked. Left Jodi for even longer and with the added hassle of bailing him out from a different country. He's going to pay for that when he finally gets home. Meanwhile has Eileen noticed how selfish Jerry really is, yet? Doreen seems to be taking a fancy to Norris' friends. Having crushes isn't just limited to the young. This is good, we get to see more of the Delectable Doreen! She's a smashing character! Violet's baby is starting to kick! It's going to seem a lot more real now! And Sean is getting more and more drawn in when Violet only wanted him to be at arms' length in the whole process.

I think it's finally dawning on Kirk that taking care of things isn't as easy as it seemed. As bad a housekeeper as Cilla was, at least it didn't smell (other than of booze and fags). John is the only one that can't see that Sally has a crush on him. Darryl does have a point. David does look pretty daft just sitting in a car listening to music all the time. So just prove that he *can* drive and the car *does* go! Odd that, it never worked and David was supposed to be working on it with Kevin's occasional help. Yet we've never seen him do anything except listen to the stereo. I may remember it managing to start once. There was a reason we saw the car magically able to not just start, but go and it will become evident in a couple of weeks.

Sunday Comments, July 13

Lines of the week:

• Cilla "Waste good money on a pile of old bricks?"
  
• Cilla to Chesney "From now on i want you in bed by half 11!" (erm, he's 13, isn't that a bit late?)
  
• sally about John "He can reach out to the most ordinary person and not sound patronizing" (Take a few lessons there, Sal.
  
• Kevin "I promised Sal I'd stay off the booze" Jerry "And I'm starting ballet lessons next week"
  
• Molly to Paul's face "WHACK" (Yay!)
  
• Doreen "Problem is, i still think i'm 25" (as do we all, luv)
  
• Sarah "Great. The happiest day of my life and the catering will be done by a hooker!"
  
• Maria "I keep waiting for him to find out there's a lot less to me than meets the eye" (um, that's about the size of it sweetie!)
  

Chesney wonders how he's going to feed Schmeichel? Why should *he* have to? I laughed at Cilla, celebrating with beer. Man i'd have the champers popped in a New York (or Vegas) minute! Fiz really thinks Cilla will throw it all away but she's sat there trying to figure out what to spend it all on! Surprise, surprise! She decided to move to Las Vegas, and with Chesney's blessing. He probably will be better off with Kirk and Fiz though i'm not sure Kirk will be much good at being a parent stand in, even if Cilla is the worst mother ever. She didn't even think about taking Chesney to Vegas before Kirk reminded her of his existence. What a little prince is Chesney. And ttey even think Les will be back soon. I got news for them. Cilla didn't waste any time, did she! seemed like it was the very next day she was off! In spite of her being not much of a mother, I think Cilla does have a soft spot for her baby. I'm very surprised she even bothered asking people for a good bye party in the pub. They only went for the free drinks. They didn't realize she was going for good. It's too bad they didn't show the softer side of Cilla before, at least regarding how she felt about being a terrible mother. It was still all about her in the end, though. And hell, she didn't even give him a last hug goodbye. As a result, nobody's going to be sad she's gone though i must say, she was a fun character in her obnoxiousness.

I don't know why Fiz would want any of Cilla's money. Is it very realistic that teeny tiny Gail would have bought nearly the same outfit as tall curvy Eileen? And they'd just finished having a planning session a few days ago. Surely Gail would have told Eileen what she'd bought to wear so they wouldn't clash. Looks like Kirk started as he means to go on. Serving Chesney cold beef curry from a tin for breakfast. Fiz nearly went through the roof at the state of the place. She's going to give them a chance but i can't help thinking it's not going to go well. Funny little exchange in the cafe between Becky and Stape over Becky's gossiping!

Roger's getting on my nerves whinging about the money he lent Leanne and whining about money in general. It seems like she's making regular payments so what's the problem? Ooh Yay Doreen's back! Did you notice Rita was browsing the same Cheshire magazine that Cilla was looking at? Ah, so Todd has passed his uni degree. David's too young to be going bar hopping with the stag do crowd anyway! You know i really don't understand why Kelly seems to have an ongoing nasty on for Vicki but at least Vicki stands right up to her. I am intrigued by Vicky, too. We keep hearing all these little vignettes about her past life. Affair with a married teacher and having to change colleges was this week's little gem.

Did you see the look Jack gave Paul after he scuppered the nice tea and toast that Tyrone made for Vera? I wonder if he is starting to realize how manipulative Paul is. Hmmm maybe not. Now that Vera and Jack are going to have a little break in Blackpool, i'm not sure Ty and Paul are going to be able to live in the same house without one of them killing the other one! At least Molly is on Tyrone's side now. I don't know why Ty and Molly are having so much trouble finding a flat. I'm sure both of the flats over the bookies are empty. Well, one anyway, if the current owner is in one. And isn't there still a flat over Jerry's that's empty? Or one of them. There's three there, Janice has one, Roy and Hayley have one and there was another one that Martin lived in. Seems like they've decided to stay and be as much a thorn in Paul's side as he is in theirs. He didn't like it much when he found out they weren't taking the flat they saw. None too soon either. It seems Paul has been keeping some very dodgey company in his past. Money from the till and shagging the owner's wife! Well, Tyrone has him right where he wants him. The tables are turned and Paul owes Tyrone now.

Lloyd and Jodie finally managed to get together for a drink, even if it's at the Rovers, and Jerry and Eileen still horned in on it. I wondered if Jerry was going to wait until the last minute to tell Jodie he was going away the weekend. I wonder if Eileen is going to start realizing how selfish Jerry really is. Rosie doesn't think school can teach her about talking to clients, working with databases etc. Well it can if it's the right school.

John Stape seems to be changing his image. No shaggy hair. No specs. He cleans up quite nicely and it looks like Sally appreciates it too! She's hoping he's going to persuade Rosie into going back to school. Sally's crush is getting pretty obvious. So is Rosie's on Liam to the point where she foolishly didn't pass on a message from Maria and hid Liam's phone. She's going to get a rollocking for that!

So the wedding of the year gets closer. Todd has been in touch and arrives just in time for the stag do!
What a shock for Sarah and there's David chuckling across the road waiting for the fireworks. As much as Sarah's really ticking me off with her attitude which is just as childish as David's, she did the right thing and made out like it was all ok and thus David's plan was foiled. Candice isn't coming after all and Sarah's nearly having a nervous breakdown. And really, there was no need to be so mean to Eileen was there? At least they were all civil during the dress-refitting, which was also a disaster. I laughed at the wine spilled on it and Eileen just chucked another glass at it too. And Sally is getting more and more insufferable and i just love it! Things just went from bad to worse when Gail tore the dress and then Jason came back and saw her in it. You know what? I think she's right. The wedding *is* jinxed! Stay tuned next week and see if more disaster strikes.

Sunday Comments, July 6

Lines of the week:

• Cilla "I need my beauty sleep" Frank "You're telling me!"
  
• Violet "So, no plans for the weekend then?" Eileen "Apart from boarding the Good Ship Morton, no" (ooo errr!)
  
• Fiz "I thought you said he didn't like yer?" (Frank) Cilla "What's not to like!" (let me count the ways)
  
• Gail to David "Grow up"
  
• Jerry "Know why pirates are called pirates? Cause they Arrrrrrrrrr!!!"
  
• Liam "Think of me as a sounding board" Carla "Can i think of you as a punch bag?"
  
• Cilla "A dear friend croaked it recently" Norris "And how did he pass away?" Cilla "Filthy rich" ... and later "People mourn in different ways"
  
• Cilla "500 quid? I've gone through that in rubber gloves!"
  

Liam is still going around with a knot in his face over Carla. I think if Paul's sister is ok with Carla moving on, then his brother should too. It's ok for some. Liam seems to be spending more time with Maria. They make a nice couple actually. Why shouldn't carla get on with Tony? I hope Liam isn't using Maria to get back at Carla. But Carla is probably using Tony to prove something to Liam judging from her less than squishy demeanor the morning after. Spending the night with Maria seems to have lifted Liam's spirits. It's done the opposite for Carla. Does anyone worry about Tony, going so far over the top with the roses? That seems a bit excessive. Liam seems to be turning as green as a green thing. Carla wears the trousers in the relationship but she also dropped everything as soon as Tony beckoned. Unless that was just to get a dig in at Liam. I dunno. Their attraction seemed to come out of nowhere. They really didn't like each other for years and years and yes i know, sometimes that masks attraction. Well, it always does on soaps. I can't see them as a couple though. I think Carla would chew Liam up and spit him out.

Oooh is Candice really going to come for the wedding? I think Blanche is basically getting paid for sitting and listening for any and all gossip. Ok, I officially like Vicki, she doesn't look it but she is a little spitfire isn't she? I love it when she winds up Kelly or Janice when they make some predjudiced remark about Poland or the Polish and shows them up for the ignorant cows they are. Aww Jodie and Lloyd make a nice couple too, don't they! And Eileen got to go to a Pirate party for her birthday! (And Finlay's!) Jerry really *really* takes advantage of Jodi. I think Lloyd is going to get fed up waiting for her and fed up with her ranting about her father. Jodie needs to go on strike. I think Jerry had more fun at the party than the kids! Heyyyy Jerry and Eileen stayed over night! Jerry told Jodie she could have the weekend off and within hours he's making plans to go to Milan with the lads and dismissing her as "Oh she can have the next weekend off". She keeps complaining that she's responsible for the two small ones, too. What about that brother and sister she's got?

Looks like Sean's new relationship is going to make him feel guilty Since Violet having to work his shift seems to have had an ill effect on her. She's ok though, don't worry. I think Sean has snagged himself a really lovely bloke though. Marcus seems really nice!!

Audrey's letting both David and Sarah work there. I expect it will be the sounds of sniping, then. Actually, i quite enjoyed seeing Jason rough up David a bit. David does seem to be making inroads with his mother towards forgiveness. I suppose it would take an awful lot for your mother to hold it against you forever. Sarah, that's another thing. Is she being over the top? Probably not. If the situation was reversed, David would be every bit as vindictive. In fact, he's been that vindictive for less reason than Sarah's got. Gail was very honest with David and she's in a difficult position, caught between two children, one of whom she loves but really can't trust and David really isn't mature enough to understand. You do realize Sarah's wedding is only about a month away and they're just making some of these arrangement decisions now? Most people would have had almost everything sorted this close to the date and all she can think of is a chocolate fountain and even at the big family meeting, that was the main topic of conversation. Swopping chocolate for champagne for a toast? ugh! Oh for heavens' sake, David, standing at the window like a 3 year old and staring inside, left out! Why didn't he just press his nose against the glass and have done with it? Grow the heck up! (Sheesh, now i'm saying it!) You know, if Sarah hadn't told David he wasn't invited so aggressively, he probably wouldn't have decided to ruin the wedding but now, you know he's on a mission. So much for being sorry. And his first trick? mailing Todd an invitation, hoping that he'll show up and stir the pot a little. Don't you think Sarah's leaving sending the invitations kind of late? it's only a few weeks until the wedding!

Very surprised that all the noise from 20 kids and a few adults on the other side of the wall didn't seep through to the Platts. Surely that's just as much noise as one stereo! Nice touch having the same song on the radio in both Jerry's and Audrey's. Odd that Jerry would have invited Kevin to Milan. I thought he seemed more matey with Lloyd.

Will Cilla move in with Frank? She's not sure she wants to leave "all her friends". Hah! He's trying to lure her with promises of inheritance. I'm surprised Cilla isn't jumping at the chance. Seems he wants a companion not a live in housekeeper, not if she's going to demand a cleaner come in. She's not going to get the chance to find out. Poor old Frank popped his clogs. At least she was on the phone to the ambulance straight away, somewhat un-Cilla-like. And oddly, she must have been quite fond of him because even though she was putting on a bit for the paramedic, you could tell she was a little sentimental at Frank's passing. Kirk and Fiz think Cilla nicked that necklace off Frank but she figures he left her everything. She looked like a dog's breakfast dolled up for the solicitor (as did the other woman waiting! Looks like Frank had a taste for the common-as-muck women!). She got quite a shock but an even bigger one when she found out how much the necklace was worth! She was so disappointed when she thought it was all for nowt, thinking she could finally have a good life for herself. Well, with the money from the necklace, that will help, at least. If she doesn't blow it all on fags, booze and trinkets first.

Sunday Comments, June 29

Lines of the week:

• Blanche "Call this aggresion? I haven't even limbered up!"
  
• Cilla "Anyone would think i've never given her a present before" (probably hasn't)
  
• Blanche "Do they call it all day breakfast because you have to wait all day for it?"
  
• Hayley to Roy "You repeat things, but you don't understand them"
  
• Cilla to Frank "You think you can win me over wi'yer dead wife's bling?"
  
• Becky to Christian "She is great. And you are NOTHING!"
  
• Carla "Do you think i wanted that? (kiss)"
  

I don't think Christian was repulsed. I think he was just very angry at Hayley lying to him. But Hayley isn't going to believe that. Hayley is now really going to find a hole in her life without Christian. Love Love Love Becky telling Roy he's ramming his values down other peoples' throats. I think Roy's got an awful lot of groveling to do to get any respect from Hayley ever again. Becky might go about things in the wrong way but her loyalty is not to be questioned. Even as worried as Roy was, he still couldn't say the words "Tell her I love her". It's a complex situation. While Hayley did have to tell Christian the truth, Roy should have been more supportive too and not shut her out so completely. Now Becky is trying her darndest to get the two of them to talk and neither will because they either don't know what to say or aren't going to say what the other wants to hear. I've never heard anyone get into such a state just going to a grocery store for milk and eggs. One would think Roy had never bought groceries in his life! And even then, with his customers waiting for breakfasts, he still couldn't let go of his carbon principles and his nerves are pretty much shattered aren't they?

Maybe now they can manage to talk properly. Well if Roy would get off his high frigging horse, they might have a chance. A change of scenery could very well help the problems between them, if they get a chance to talk it all out. By God he's hard work. Becky decided to take matters into her own hands and boy, i know violence isn't the answer and i don't think Christian really did hit Hayley with malice but Becky thinks he did and Becky thinks with her fists. And Boy did she give it to him, verbally too! And Oh God, they're going to put Blanche in the cafe to help Becky? Well she might object to Becky saying she'd be no help... but she's not, is she! Blanche with a hint of gossip is like a dog with a bone. Blanche seems to be spending mor of her time on her backside in the cafe than helping.

Sarah really has turned against David. She doesn't want him at her wedding. Would you? The feud seems to be causing a lot of trouble in the salon. Audrey is really caught in the middle between two beloved grandchildren. Can't blame Sarah but David is trying, he is. Nice to see Maria still sticking up for David. Audrey is trying to give David a home and thinks that her rules might help him. But if she too shows favouritism, it's only going to further alienate David.

Oh dear god. Knicker games! I've played that one where you have to remember the list of things and add one to it but have never had to wear knickers on my head when i've got it wrong! Hmmm Violet looks a bit sentimental over Jamie. Do i smell a re-romance or is it her hormones? Ashley is really annoying. Yes, closing the shop to babysit is just wonderful for business.

Jack's missing money from the money tin. I figure Paul is trying to set Tyrone up by Taking and replacing some cash and making it seem like Tyrone did it. Tyrone walked right into it. I'm really surprised that Jack and Vera would even believe that Tyrone would ever ever take their money! I don't blame Tyrone for being upset and he knows Paul's set him up, Paul even admitted it, but nobody believes him, not even Molly, which is just what Paul figured on. and He's very good at making it seem like Tyrone is lying isn't he! I think Molly's eyes are finally being opened, though.

Cilla's back from Vegas and what do you know? no money for the cab from the airport! She didn't even remember her own mother's birthday but she actually got Fiz an expensive and nice pressie. I bet Frank paid for it all. Cilla figures a British style diner on the Vegas Strip would do well. Poor Kirk, his birthday gift voucher for Fiz went to Lloyd! Frank doesn't seem to like Cilla's cooking. Brown sauce on pancakes!! Now Frank's giving Cilla pressies. I am starting to wonder just exactly what Cilla does for him because i'm darn sure she's a lousy house cleaner as well as cook.

Rosie is *so* crushing on Liam. Not only are her skirts getting shorter but her tops are plunging deeper and she doesn't mind sitting where his face is practically in her cleavage. I think he's starting to twig that she's throwing herself at him and he needs to nip that in the bud, sharpish. Her mother's daughter isn't she. At the same time, Tony seems to be crushing on Carla and Liam doesn't like it. He's saying that it's too soon after Paul's death. It is a big, but Carla doesn't seem to be rushing in to it either. So what does Liam do? Plant one on Carla. And she might tell him she didn't want that but it looked to me that her tongue was just as far down his throat at the time. Let's face it, Carla even admitted neither of them were faithful to each other (her and Paul that is) and we never saw all that much evidence of a warm and fuzzy marraige even if there was the occaisonal entry into the bedroom Olympics. And there's Carla with not a friend in the world, not really. She's not one to entertain girly friends and her guarded truce with Michelle is the closest she's got. But you know what? The more they protest that it will never happen? Guarantee that it will eventually even though these two are the most mismatched pair i could think of. It might be physical attraction but there's no way they'd manage a successful relationship.

I'm surprised the cafe isn't open at 8 o'clock for the pre-work crowd. Sean is still dating Marcus! You wouldn't think the doors to the pigeon loft would be left open for the birds to fly out would you? Yet it seemed to be when Liam was sulking in the back yard, sitting on the dirty ground. (pigeon muck?)

Sunday Comments, June 22

Lines of the week:

• David "It was just one lousy pill"
  
• Gail "I've done angry. I'm just done past caring"
  
• Inspector "You rang us? Green, Clean and Friendly?" Becky "Which one are you?"
  
• Vernon "A man for all seasons, me"
  
• Ryan about his relatives "They're all whack jobs. In a nice way"
  
• Betty re a magazine on menopause "That ship sailed long since" and to seasonal affective disorder "I saw off Hitler, you know. I think i can cope with a few dark nights"
  
• Hayley to Christian "Harold's still alive"
  
• Vernon "I'm very right brained" (but not right in the brain) Steve "So far, i've seen very little evidence of any brain at all"
  
• Hayley to Roy "Go away and leave me alone. I can't stand the sight of yer" (I bet you never thought you'd hear that come out of her!)
  

I'd be a lot more scared of Jerry but Gail is pretty frightening when she's on the warpath too. Oh i'm so glad the police got involved, probably via the hospital report. And as bad as David felt he sure got a shock when Gail refused to go to the cop shop with him. And even then, he still seemed to take it less seriously than you'd think until they told him he could be charged with manslaughter if Beth died. Which she didn't. She's ok. Beth is very very lucky she didn't have any damage from that pill. Wow, Gail even threw David out! Best thing for him even if he tried to turn it around on her. But she does feel guilty even though it was the right thing to do. So how long will Gail's resolve last? I'm a bit surprised that Audrey did take him in though, after all her urging for Gail to put her foot down. Maybe, though, Audrey will lay down the law and make David follow the rules. Maybe that's the best thing for him, rules and structure. Bill's not too keen on the idea but I think Bill would be a good strong male influence on David. Well, Bethany's home and as far as we know, no lasting effects. David was sure relieved. Don't think Sarah is every going to forgive David, with good reason. Gail is starting to really feel the guilt, though. David is trying to say sorry to everyone and nobody will have it. Anyone think that's going to push him into revenge mode? But Gail won't have David back until he's proven he's changed. That's going to take more than one day or even a week.

I know Vernon wanted to be romantic but he's not very bright either. New Year's Eve? Now he's got yet another excuse to skive. Wedding planning.He was really nervous about how Steve would take the news though. Now Steve wants to move Michelle into the pub. That's going to be close quarters. If they're worried about the crowds, why doesn't Michelle and Liz/Vernon swop? Vernon is making me ill. Will i have to put up with his mushing for the next couple of months? Rosie's skirt is getting shorter and shorter. Huge guffaw at David trying to amuse Betty sat under the dryer!

Uh oh. Sally's getting *that look* again, when she looks at John and she's cornered him into a theatre "date" to see Shakespeare and it happens to be on Fiz's birthday! And would you have believed that Kevin would actually enjoy it? He didn't either but he did, and he "got" it, much to Sally's surprise and chagrin. Tony Soprano, indeed! Sophie's getting a bit stroppy with teenage hormones isn't she? lol! Dev is really really being annoying about the slower kettle. IT's not as if they're lighting the fire by rubbing two sticks together. D'you notice? Christian even slopes along a bit like Hayley. Looks like Audrey's home is becoming a refuge for waifs and strays now she's taking Ashley in. Um, You know, It's Steve's pub. Surely if he wants to take down the photo of him snogging the gal in Malta, he can. I suppose his mother would prefer to have it there too, both of them like to take the pi$$ don't they! Evidenced by Lloyd urging Vernon to give Steve a hug.

Roy's low carbon footprint efforts aren't impressing the customers but seriously. How long does it take? It's not that bad but people are so impatient these days. Roy's really really annoying me lately though. Obsession about being green is taking over his life to the point where he's grizzling about the wrapping paper and taking the car out for a drive (when they rarely do take it out, after all!) If Roy is so concerned about the environment, he should sell that clunker of a car and buy a new small hybrid one that's fuel efficient! Laughed at Becky scaring Roy with her present, an inimate item no couple should be without and it was a carrier for id and money under your clothes. Becky is also very plain speaking and makes sure Roy hears the hard truth.

Curly Freddy is back again. Rosie definitely has a crush on Liam who definitely does not have one on her. John mentioned the theatre in the round. That must be the Manchester Royal Exchange theatre! Liam seems a little jealous that Carla is making eyes at another man so soon after Paul's death but really, Carla and Paul didn't really have that warm and fuzzy a marraige for quite some time.

Becky always seems to get straight to the core of things. She knows that Hayley wants to see more of Christian. Should she be encouraging Hayley, knowing how Roy feels? I think so, as long as Hayley explains to Roy which she did. But it didn't turn out very well, did it? But while he has a point, that Hayley really has to tell Christian the truth, making her choose between Christian and their relationship, and blanking her out is totally wrong. Leave it to Kelly, if it wears trousers she's ready to devour it. Another lie, Harold was cremated. Blimey, were any of you thinking "JUST TELL HIM!" Cripes, it's never a straight line with Hayley, is it! Well, Roy pretty much forced the issue and she finally told Christian the truth after that, and he smacked her across the face!!! Did Roy feel guilty? I hope so. I don't think Christian hit her because of the fact that she was a man before, it was because of the lies. Yes, Roy was right but i still think he was overly harsh with Hayley. For more examination of this storyline, check out the entry below this one.

Hayley's got a son

So we've come to the storyline where Hayley has discovered that she fathered a son when she was Harold. The basic premise was taken from the movie Transamerica where a woman was just about to have her reassignment surgery and discovers she'd father'd a son. She meets the lad but doesn't tell him who she is until much later in the movie when it blows up in her face. Well, the same idea here. Hayley discovered through a letter that was written to her late Auntie Monica that she'd fathered a son via a one night spent with a good friend back in the day. She doesn't tell Roy this because she'd told him at the start that she and Harold both were virgins. She does tell Becky who has been a tower of strength. I really think this is where Becky really comes into her own as a character and cements her place. But that's a story for another blog.

Hayley finds out where her son Christian is and when she steels her nerves to meet him, tells him she's his auntie and there lies the rub. When Roy finds out, he's very angry that he's been lied to but also upset that Hayley has lied to Christian. Lie begets lie. I do agree there, that Hayley needs to tell the truth to Christian. I don't agree with Roy's holier than thou attitude and harsh demands that if Hayley doesn't tell the truth, their future is in dire jeopardy. I think he probably could have forgiven the lie about viriginity even though he figures a relationship built on a lie is not worth having. It's not that serious a lie, really. Not enough to destroy 10 years of solidarity.

If i were i Roy's shoes, i'm sure i'd not be too happy with my partner's lies and would strongly urge the truth be told, not just for the partner's sake but for the lad's. He does deserve to know the truth, and should be told. I wouldn't threaten and emotionally blackmail my partner into it but then i don't see the world in black and white like Roy does. As good a man as he is, he can be very santimonious at times. He doesn't deal well with emotions. He doesn't compromise easily, not on the big things. He'd be utterly lost without Hayley yet he's pushing her away. For her own sake, he'd say. That's not being supportive and i can't blame Hayley for turning a bit cold to him after what happens.

I'm writing this the afternoon before a particular episode airs on CBC but i'm going to spoil it as i don't think a lot of people read this straight away anyway. But you've been warned. The rest of this post will contain spoilers for this storyline. Look away now if you don't want to know.

Last night Hayley finally told Christian that his father is still alive. Tonight she will tell him the whole truth, but knowing Hayley, it won't come out in a straight line. Christian isn't going to take it well. He walks away and she follows, pulling at him so he turns around and lashes out, smacking her across the face with the back of his beringed hand. That of course causes bruises and cuts. She thinks he thinks of her as a freak. I don't think that's the case really. I think it's anger at her letting him think his father was dead. Lie begets lie and he's angry when it all comes out. As anyone would be. I also think he's horrified at hitting her in the heat of the moment but he walks away and when Hayley gets home, Roy is horrified and wants Christian arrested.

Some might say it's partly Roy's fault for forcing Hayley into telling the truth when she wasn't ready. That's not right but he should feel guilty just the same. it's a very hard situation, really. Yes, Hayley should have told Christian from the start. This wouldn't have happened. He'd have been shocked and surprised but I think he'd have come round to it. i don't think he's a violent man as a rule, i think this was accidental but boy, oh boy, Becky sure reacts in true Becky fashion. She beats the crap out of him in retaliation. Roy doesn't know how to react other than directing his guilt and anger at Christian.

There's no right or wrong here, not really. Hayley should have told the truth from the start but it was a very difficult thing to do. Roy should have been more supportive and not so hard on her with his high morals. But encouraging her to tell the truth was right. Just not the way he did it. Christian shouldnt' have struck out but it's understandable.

The thing is, it more or less rewrites Hayley's whole history. Everything she'd told us over the years. The mother of her son, Cath, was supposed to be a sort of kindred spirit. Both young people were loners, outcasts. Yet what about Ruth? That friend that Hayley went to see years ago when she and Roy ran off with that little boy they were fostering. That was also supposed to be the same sort of best friend. Sounds like Harold had more friends than he knew what to do with. It seems the powers that be went with this storyline because of the popularity of the movie and because of the sensation it would cause if beloved Hayley was assaulted. Indeed the newspapers and ITV themselves were putting put publicity about Hayley being "brutally beaten" when in fact, it was one smack across the face. Hardly brutal. Jez Quigley was beaten by Jim McDonald and he died from his injuries. *That's* brutal.

In spite of that, though, as always, Julie H and David N have put in fantastic performances. Roy and Hayley stories are always good because the writers always do believable dialogue and the actors really know what to do with it. Even if watching Roy makes you angry, as it does me, i can appreciate the skill of both the actors and writers here. If it's a bit unbelievable that Hayley would have had such a good friend, had sex with her and then pretty much never see her or keep in touch with her within weeks of it for the pregnancy not to have come to light (Ok, maybe Cath just upped and left town without telling her best friend why and never kept in touch, that doesn't make a lot of sense either), that's television and you have to suspend disbelief, i guess.

This is the main thing i really dislike about tv shows that rewrite character history. Nothing adds up. When they gave Mike Baldwin a son with Susan who, surprise, didn't have an abortion after all, they failed to explain how Tracy could have visited Susan or Ken who must have called her or visited even though we didn't see it, how come nobody ever heard of or saw Adam, or even a photo of him in her flat? When they gave Mike a brother and therefore Danny Baldwin who became his son, they forgot that Mike's father was on the show and they used to talk about how it was just the two of them against the world when Mike was younger. Tsk. There is documented history here that's being thrown out the window. If there was an absence of a character or they were never known to the show or never talked about their past, you can get away with it. Bet Lynch was discovered to have a son from a teenage pregnancy who was given up for adoption as did Audrey. Both were believable because of the character however.

Oh well, i could witter on and ramble for a long time. i better quit. i've probably already lost any readers i might have had by this point! Sorry about that. Corrie isn't the only show that has done this and it always annoys me. But the performances keep me coming back for more. Corrie does drama like nobody else does. Long may it reign

Sunday Comments, June 15

Lines of the week:

• Becky to Roy "Life doesn't divide into neat little piles."
  
• Janice about Carla and Rosie "Doctor Evil and Mini-Me"
  
• Roy "Jigsaws are for squares"
  
• Hayley "Sometimes what i need is support. Not principles"
  
• Fiz "she was Discombobulated" Becky "oh you can't just make up words!"
  
• Roy "I will 'not' chill out and as for doing my head in, that must be the most pointless phrase to have entered the English language in the last twenty years. And believe me, it has some competition"
  

Roy really took Hayley's "betrayal" badly, didn't he? Poor Roy doesn't see the nuances of life. It's not as if Haley's only just told him she used to be a man. That would make you question the foundation of your relationship. That she wasn't a virgin might have been a lie, a shock even, but it's not the end of the world. No matter that they've rewritten Hayley's history, no matter that it's a bit of a mirror to the movie, a Roy and Hayley story is always a treat. Now he's insisting. No more lies. And what does she do? tell Christian that she's his auntie. Now you and i can understand how difficult it would be for her to tell him she's his father under such emotional circumstances. But yes, she should have or she should have waited until she could have done it. I really don't like this aspect of Roy's personality, though. He has such high standards that it's not always easy to live up to them. I do understand his point of view but i don't like that he tends to push people away when they don't live up and let him down. He was completely rude to Christian when he arrived at the cafe. It's true, though, lie begets lie. When Christian finds out that Hayley is his father, and he will because why do the storyline otherwise, he's not going to take it well. Anyway. Christian. Do you think they could have cast anyone that looks more like Hayley no matter that she said he looked like his mother? Can i just say i love Becky, i really do! She told Roy straight from the hip and he didn't like being preached to. She pointed out he can dish it out all right. I fear a cup of eco-friendly tea isn't really the way to make it up with Hayley though. She's got to work through this herself and she's got to find a way to tell Christian the truth.

Well, it looks like David has taken another big step along the road to hell. Stashing drugs for a friend of a friend and hiding them in the head of Beth's doll? Smart. Not. "Stig". I wonder if he knows Becky's ex, Slug. Anyway, it only stood to reason that Beth would find them and nearly die from the drug. Hopefully she won't need a new kidney like Tracey did and maybe this will be the thing that makes David stand up and take notice of his life? Wanna bet? You'd lose. Man, did David ever go white. Under his fake tan, that is. He did try to make her throw it up, but it was probably so small and dissolved very quickly and got into her system so the salt water only made her worse. As scary as it is when someone you love takes suddenly and really frighteningly ill, there's nothing that will make your heart jump up into your throat like when it happens to a child. It took Jason to get David to admit what happened and everyone turned against him. Well what would you do? Sarah had pretty negative feelings toward David before this, she'll never forgive or forget now and i suspect it's going to be out and out war from here on in. Will Bethany survive? Tune in!

You know, Paul isn't very nice either, is he? He's as bad as Tyrone, winding each other up. Finally Molly gets clued in that Ty is jealous of Paul. At least Dev is good for something these days. He is jealous but he also doesn't trust Paul. Too much like his father, Terry. And Paul is like Terry too, smarmy and manipulative, also puts Tyrone down a lot and makes him look silly and stupid in front of Molly, Jack and Vee. But Paul tipped up, there, and Ty overheard him on the phone saying he was Jack Duckworth! Now he just has to get proof but i think it's going to take awhile yet. Paul's very good at covering his tracks and making Tyrone look like a paranoid fool. And we know how fickle Vera is and how much family means to her. As much as Tyrone is *like* a son, he's not and Paul's their blood. You would think that Paul would have been smart enough to send all bank correspondence to the restaurant or get a PO box. I guess he's got a few miles to put on him before he's as clever as his dad. Vera going into exstacies over the vibrating chair was awfully close to TMI.

Happy Birthday Sean. Looks like Marcus the ultrasound and midwife guy has taken a fancy to Sean. The feeling is certainly mutual. Aww isn't he a nice bloke too. First date and he gets to meet Sean's friends. Talk about pressure. Typical Kelly, though, bringing Sean down, implying Marcus is just a one off cause it looks like he isn't. Ashley is still sleeping on the Webster's sofa. Jamie asked Violet to his mother's wedding? Boy she sure cleaned up fast!

I can understand Claire not quite sure she can forgive Ashley. The affair was bad enough but before that, he had doubted her word and her integrity about the fire and that probably hurts her just as much as the fling did. She may relent eventually because he really isn't the type that would be serially unfaithful but it the hurt that he didn't believe in her will always be there tucked away. Ashley wants things to be the way they were before. They never will be, sorry. And it soulds like Kevin knows what's what and where things stand with Sally.

Is it me? Or are they dressing Hayley even more frumpy than usual with that baggy blouse and cardy! Even Carla treats Hayley well though. They know she doesn't skive and only takes time off when it's really necessary. John thinks Rosie should be left to her own devices and she might smarten up and go back to school when she realizes a factory isn't that much of a stepping stone if you have no qualifications. All the girls in the factory's baby talk really got to Hayley.

Hmm nice looking bloke, this Tony in the factory. Carla and Rosie are working in the factory alone (on a Sunday?) and Tony just walks in? Wouldn't they keep the door locked? Ooh, there was something on the table at Gail's by the lamp with a Canadian flag on it, a mug or something! Roy's birthday is Friday which is Tuesday our time.

Sunday Comments, June 8

Lines of the week:

• Claire "My husband slept with the woman that tried to kill me"
  
• Gail "David, have you been shooting at my shopping?"
  
• David to Gail "Trust!!! I don't know how you dare use the word" (well if you earned it, you'd get it)
  
• Sean "Marcus. Sonographer. As i like to call him, Ultrasound Man, can see right inside you!"
  
• Sean "I'm just so lucky" (AAAAAGHHH SOPOD!)
  
• Fiz about Kelly "She's scared off straighter blokes than you"
  
• Joshua to Ashley "Did you take mummy's toy?" Claire "Daddy took mine!"
  

Well the dust has settled on the Peacock crisis. Sort of. Claire's sleeping in the nursery and Ashley's sleeping on the sofa. Why is that? Nobody's sleeping in the big bed! Will Claire ever forgive Ashley? Poor Kirk feels so bad but it's not his fault. You could see Claire was working up to tearing a strip off Audrey for knowing about Casey and Ashley and not telling. Audrey did try to tell Claire but kept chickening out. She just hinted that Casey was making herself very comfortable. It's a hard place to be in, a friend knowing something like that. Nice bit of history there with Kevin trying to help Ashley because he does know how it goes. Can't blame Claire for not believing Anything Ashley says, not at this point in time. Sally's right, Ashley still had a choice and I can't blame Claire for wanting him to leave though i wouldn't call it a full blown affair. It was more than a one off but it wasn't much more than that. I can't imagine the Webster sofa is very comfy. Yes Sally did forgive Kevin... but it took years and they each had other relationships in the meantime.

Eileen has a good point. Casey managed to break up the family in the end after all. She wins. But how long are we going to have to see Ashley's tortured face? Good God, though, Claire seems to enjoy sticking it to Ashley by telling all she comes across that Ashley had an affair and they've split up.

Hayley is getting in deeper and deeper with lies. Becky thinks she's helping but it's not doing Hayley any favours. Hayley still would have lied about the 300 pounds but it would have been so obvious that even Roy would have guessed. Hayley's son's name is Christian but i think CBC snipped that out last week. The PI is back and it seems like he found Hayley's son and he works in a music shop. Hayley wasn't walking *that* fast but i think the fags have Becky's lungs in pretty poor shape. Hayley finally told Roy she has a son. Talk about shock to the system! I think Roy would have been ok and understood why she lied about her virginity if this hadn't been added to the mix along with Hayley lying about it and the private investigator. See, with Roy it's black or white. He doesn't understand the emotional subtleties and quandaries.

Why would Sean even have to say anything about his afternoon off? He could leave work and go to the hospital and Eileen would never know anyway. As nervous as Violet was about the scan, Sean seemed even more so about what people would think. So.. the scan technician, Marcus... Sean was flirting something mad with him and Marcus didn't seem to mind and gave Sean his phone number! Sean seems to be ok when it's him wanting a relationship but what happens when Violet wants one? That's an intruder, a potential daddy. Now that they know it's all ok, Vi won't be able to keep Sean from spilling the beans now so it might as well come from Vi. Eileen was gobsmacked and a bit baffled by the logistics. I can't help thinking this wide eyed optimism is going to go horribly south in the end. It's a soap. things are never smooth and easy. Why would Sean tell the biggest gobs on the STreet about the baby and then tell them they want to keep it a secret? Duh. It didn't take long for the news to spread. But Betty was brilliant, and you know, someone of her generation probably does think all someone needs is to find the right fella/woman. I've heard it from one or two people in real life so it's not that far fetched having a character like Betty say it. It's really not Liz's place to judge Vi but she might be the only one that was brave enough to warn them.

Do you think David would make a good stylist? Gail knew David dumped that parcel. Who else could it be? I don't know about stylist, David seems to be having a good time with the air gun, shooting Gail's ornaments, her shopping, her milk carton. Hmph. It's ok for David to torture Gail, play tricks, embarass her, but when she turns it around on him, he's insulted and tries to make her feel guilty. If David left the phone connection open, wouldn't Gail have heard the air gun shot over it and her own music back into her ear? Gail is right to ask for room and board just like Sarah. I wonder if Jason contributes too? She said everyone who lives there contributes so i expect he must and he didn't like Gail interfering in his pay packet too much. Was that overstepping the mark do you think? I kind of think it was, actualleh. David needs to grow the heck up, that's what he needs. He stabbed Gail right to the heart with his cold remarks. He decides to leave and you know, it probably is for the best. For now at least. Gail feels guilty, just as David intended.

Gail's worst nightmare, the police coming to the door after David has run off. Nobody's surprised that David decided to accuse Gail of being physically abusive. What better revenge on her even if he backed out of it. I think the best thing that could have happened is taking David into care. David thinks Gail let Richard almost kill him. Erm. and everyone else, her included. I hardly think that's a fair accusation. Oooh he makes me want to spit nickels, does David. I am really surprised he'd do something to upset Bethany, though.

Jodie seems to be chomping at the bit to get some time to herself. I"m sure Jerry does take full advantage. Kayleigh says someone spiked her drinks. You'd think as soon as she started to feel the effects, she'd have stopped drinking. That's where her excuses all fall apart. Looks like Jodie and Lloyd might be trying for a date or two but i don't think it's going to be easy. About as easy as Eileen and Jerry trying to find some alone time. Sally really is keen on this English course isn't she?

Hmmm Looks like Liam is getting interested in Maria. I wonder why Gail always thinks it's a private place to talk, in her kitchen. 6 feet away from the living room. Wouldn't it have been better to walk outside with the police? Kirk actually talked a bit of sense to Tyrone, warning him against talking too much against Paul. Tyrone just comes across like a jealous and petty person. His instinct was right, we know that, but nobody else does except Leanne.

Corrie's back on weeknights this week starting Tuesday with a double episode!!! Yay!

Sunday Comments, June 1

Lines of the week:

• Norris to Jodie about her "offer" "I don't know about you but I know me limitations"
  
• Doreen "I was thinking more like Clint Eastwood" Emily (sighing) "Aren't we all?"
  
• Roy to Becky "You've had a bereavement then?" Becky "Yeah when i was kid. That's the trouble with hamsters. Too easy to forget to feed 'em "
  
• Claire to Ashley about Casey "I've misjudged you, i probably misjudged her as well" (no you haven't)
  
• Cilla to Norris "Guess where I"m sleeping tonight! Las Vegas!" Norris "Has anyone warned them?"
  
• Detective "Strange i'm used to. It's impossible that's a struggle"
  
• Doreen "Tomorrow i will still be a single blonde" (you've not been blonde for 25 years, luv!)
  
• Tyrone about Paul "Why would he wish us luck, he wants us out" (duh, if they have luck, they'll be out!)
  

Good for Hayley for going to her Auntie's funeral and good for Roy for sticking up for her! The gobby relatives only showed themselves up making an obnoxious arses of themselves at a funeral. ooh, old photo of "Harold" which looks just like Julie H. and maybe some of those photos were of another boy? And what's in the letters? Something very upsetting to her, that's for sure. Hayley's beloved Auntie Monica died, why does Roy keep thinking the obnoxious couple is what's upsetting her when she's grieving her Aunt (and whatever was in that letter which he didn't know about). Poor Becky took the brunt of Hayley's grief and shock and oh. MY. GOD. Hayley had a son!!!! Hayley wanted a child so much and has missed out on the only one she had. And after she told Roy she'd never had sex before him. We all know what Roy is like being adamant about complete honesty. Still, Hayley should tell him as difficult as it would be. Instead she'd rather forget all about it but Becky isn't going to let her.

Becky's been a really good friend. Her idea of a private detective is actually a good one. Poor Hayley is quite out of her element on this one but she did it anyway. I think the Detective, as much as he probably hears a lot of strange things, probably thinks "Now i've heard everything". Hayley really does have to tell Roy, she really does as hard as it will be. Anyway Hayley's son is called Christian, not sure if that was missed on the show or edited but it's mentioned this coming week as if it was already said.

Roy really is in his own little world, when he's got his own obsessions. This crusade to do with his carbon footprint, while very admirable, is a bit OTT as typical of Roy :)

Seeing Claire all fuzzy and warm towards Ashley made me shudder knowing what was coming. Casey really ramped up the obsession, didn't she? Well it's his own fault for not having the gumption to tell her in no uncertain terms when she got it all wrong last week. She slithered back and managed to get Ashley to drive her home. A scorned woman. Very dangerous. She's gone completely round the twist and you can see it in her eye. and bloody hell, leaving the baby with Kirk??? Doh. Set it up to be so obvious what was going to happen with Madam around the corner. A bit stupid of Ashley not to tell Kirk not to let Casey was persona non grata. All Kirk knows is that Casey was friend and babysitter in the past. If i'd been Audrey, i'd have been on the phone to Ashley as soon as Casey drove away with that baby. She knew what Casey was saying was rubbish. Looks like Casey is very good at photoshop too. Clear sign of madness and obsession, having photos all over the walls that she must have stolen from Claire's photo albums, most of them, and making signals out of dropped keys.

Well now Claire knows the truth about the affair and we all know that Casey set the fire, as well. Good ending to the story, wasn't it? You knew she wouldn't jump off the balcony and having Claire and Audrey there only added to the drama. There she is out on the balcony and offering Claire a steak and a glass of wine. Completely bonkers. Claire hit the nail on the head, she knew about Casey's miscarraige and how it affected her and was able to get Freddy back from her but boy oh boy did you see the look of disgust on her face when she looked at Ashley when it was all over? Can't blame her really. She was at her wits end, feeling threatened because someone tried to kill her in the fire. Ashley doubted her and everyone seemed to her to make her feel in the wrong and then... her husband cheats on her with her supposed best friend who turns out to be the one that tried to kill her! Who wouldn't be disgusted?

As much as Frank insults Cilla, I think he's taken quite a shine to her and now he's taking her to Las Vegas! And she's off looking like Calamity Jane in her boots and hat! Doreen again made me smile. Lloyd might actually be interested in Jodie now that it seems they're bickering. That's usually a sign. Why did the police drive Ashley, Claire and the baby home? Ashley drove his vehicle to the hospital so he must have left it there. But Freddie is save and completely oblivious. What a lot he's been through in a short life so far.

Doreen and Rita are not too complimentary about poor Norris and now Emily got a bit worried when Norris proposed a nice meal and a bottle of *red* wine and she heard the girls in the salon gossiping! Poor Emily! totally at cross purposes. I thought she was going to have a stroke until she realized he only wanted her support. Instead he got her laughter which he took as ridicule but which was only her laughing at her misunderstanding him. She's twigged it was Rita but Norris got ahead of her but then it took him an hour and a half to get the nerve up. At least Rita took him seriously and let him down firmly but with grace and sensitivity.

Fiz thinks her relationship with John is too good to be true. Is that a SOPOD? Is it all going to come crashing down around her ears? Again, poor David ends up getting the short end of the stick. All he wanted to do was apologize and since Gail doesn't know that, she thinks the worst of him. Mind you, his method of it was a bit immature as was his means of getting back on his mother. Rage on the computer games, unplugging the fridge and tossing her package in the bin. Tsk. They're setting David up to be a mother-killer, perhaps stashing her in the old fridge in the garage? but i don't think it will actually happen.

Laughed at Lloyd and Jerry hugging each other to tease Ashley and Kirk. I finally found something about which i agree with Norris... misplaced apostrophes! Ooh Ashley mentioned Boris! How come we never see him! Dev thinks politics is a respectable profession?

Ashley redux

After my rant a month ago about Ashley, we're about to see the crashing end of the storyline this week. At least it wasn't one of those storylines that linger on and on until you're ready to poke your eye out with a fork. I think that's testament to the charismatic Zoe Henry (did you know she had a part on Corrie before, as Spider's girlfriend Log Thwaite?) Casey is wigging out now that Ashley has rejected her firmly. Firmly, did i say? I'm wrong. Even when Casey jumped in and assumed Ashley was trying to tell her that he was choosing Claire, and she went on and on about the two of them being together, did he say anything? Did he stop her and say nooooooo. Did he eckerslike! The only thing he could do for certain was look Claire in the eye and declare he did not have sex with that woman. Which he did, of course, and everyone knows it but Claire. She'll know soon and I wouldn't blame her if she left Ashley again or locked him out of the house.

If she leaves, though, can she please take poor little Josh with her? That poor child keeps getting abandoned by her, the only mother he really remembers. Oh it's ok if she takes Freddy, he's her *real* son while I'm just the leftover one, right? Poor kid could be the David Platt of the future. Ashley and Claire will disappear off our screens for a few months after the dust settles. Apparently they all worked double time filming two versions of the storyline due to the original one about the missing baby coinciding with the real life case of Madeliene McCann. They filmed their original one and the altered one, the one we saw for awhile, according to Stephen Arnold and after that they all had the long break they deserved.

This storyline still rubs me the wrong way and i'm very very disappointed in Ashley for doing this. tsk...


Just as this is winding down, Hayley gets a storyline. Yay! It's a bit of a rip off from a recent movie and they've done some major rewriting of Hayley's history for it which kind of sucks but i think the performances will be good. Julie Hesmondhalgh will also disappear from our screens for about a year after this storyline because the actress wanted some time off. Hayley will be back though.

Lines of the week:

• Jack to Vera "I've said something nice about your bosoms haven't I? Make do, woman!"
  
• Audrey to Ashley "How's tricks?" (I was hoping he'd say "Oh she's fine!" *snork*)
  
• Cilla snarling at the Ex-husbands "What are you looking at?" George (Ivor?) "I don't know, the label's fallen off!" (i'm going to have to remember that one!)
  

Happy Anniversary, Jack and Vera! I bet neither one thought they'd get this far at times! What a shame Ty wasn't there to celebrate with them. At least he was mentioned. Not sure what the point of putting Vera in the car to drive 12 feet to the Rovers was. (I do know that in real life, Liz Dawn has emphesyma and it's quite bad. That's why she's been sitting down for the past few months in all her scenes so i suppose it's to do with that but why couldn't they just have shown them in the pub rather than doing the car thing? tsk) Awww but Jack made a lovely speech and even sang to her. He does love his little swampduck, really. It did make some of the older widows think about their lost loved ones. Meanwhile, Paul has stolen some documents from the tin and seems to be now known as Mr. Duckworth to get a loan against number 9 (he never had TErry's name, just in case you were wondering, his name is Clayton). Where have I seen this plot before? Oh yes, nearly 20 years ago when Alan Bradley stole papers and pretended to be Len Fairclough to get a mortgage against number 7. Looks like Leanne won't give him away though. It's all about the cash. seems like he got the money awfully quickly, didn't he? Ah you gotta love tv!

So David did pass the one exam he sat and with flying colours just to stick the knife in to Gail (Oops, sorry... i suppose that's in bad taste considering last week he told Jason he wanted her dead). I doubt he'll go back to school in the fall though. David is just compltely out of control now. He's thoroughly miserable and thoroughly dislikeable now. If Gail doesn't throw some tough love his way soon, he'll be lost. David also seems to really have thrown Jason for a loop.

Yanno, if a man doesn't want to be involved in planning a wedding, don't make him! If he doesn't want to know, you get to do it your way and he doesn't have a say. Why the heck is Cilla parading Frank around the Street for? Looks like she decided to take his job offer to be his personal care worker.

Jerry's all excited about his date with Eileen and thankfully Jodie convinced him to change shirts. The hard way. :) Not much better, though, the second shirt. You couldn't tell where Jerry ended and the tablecloth began! Aw but they seemed to get along pretty well. Yay for Eileen handling the yobs in the kebab shop! Jerry's second date with Eileen cost him more than it would have if he'd just taken her out somewhere! And they did go out... to the shed to escape the kids he'd paid off to stay away! Brilliant scene, though, showing off and taking the mick out of Gail! You'd almost think she was jealous!

Ashley seems to be going off Casey so that wasn't exactly the affair to remember was it? Just enough to put a major dent in his marraige though. Casey says she's going away, hoping i suppose, to put herself out of reach so that Ashley will come running after her? And after it seems to be over, that's when Audrey finally decides someone has to tell Claire except she didn't really. She alluded to it but wouldn't a real friend just tell her outright? IT's weird, Casey says she's selling her flat and going away and Ashley says he's choosing Claire but Casey also seems to beleive that she's going to be with Ashley. But she's leaving. Isn't she? For the first time in months Matt Ramsden was mentioned and Ashley's actually let Josh go overnight? or so it seems. Plot device, clearly. I wonder how thick Claire is actually. Comes back finally, finds Casey there, finds out she stayed the night and cleaned her house. Any more obvious? Telling Casey that she'll be brilliant when she has a family of her own... that's pretty mean considering Casey lost a child. I've never sat through anything so agonizing. It was staring Claire in the face. She was even suspicious and asked him outright and yet when Ashley lied to her, she believed him. I could smack sense into Claire, i really could. And one for Ashley just for good measure. The truth is going to come out of course and Ashley's going to pay for it big time. He's now trying to get shot of her but she won't go. Is she going to turn into some sort of Fatal Attraction nutcase? Stay tuned! It all hits the fan next week!

Steve gets to meet the parents. AT least this time he's taking Amy. I wonder if he's got frequent flier points? Ok, are we ever going to find out which woman Norris fancies? Oh as if you didn't know it was Rita! That's just a given isn't it, though it might have been funnier if it had been Doreen. Aw Hayley's lost her Auntie Monica. Um, Emily and Norris were going to the pub to meet Doreen. How come she came out of Emily's house?

Sunday Comments, May 18

Lines of the week:

• Casey to Ashley "If he was a real friend, he'd be happy for you"
  
• Norris "I'm not really one for idle gossip" (idle, no. Dedicated, yes)
  
• Michelle to Steve "I might have forgiven you but there is no way I am ever going to let you forget."
  
• Kirk "Nobody's ever led me astray" (No but Molly had a pretty good try at it)
  
• Paul "I'm a proper metrosexual, me" Jack "Whatever you do behind closed doors is your business"
  
• Liam "I'm just going to shout at the workers. It's cheaper than therapy"
  
• Gail "I'm not here for a trim. I'm here for a scalp"
  
• Sarah "If he had a life he wouldn't have to make one up"
  
• David "I don't do friends. I do enemies"
  

Ashley sure did lay into Kevin didn't he? He's getting almost as paranoid as Claire. But the difference here is, he's doing it out of guilt. He *knows* he's cheating on Claire and he *knows* everyone will think the worst of him for it. He nearly ripped the ears off poor Kevin who has been there and done that. Casey is well in there and saying vicious and underhanded things. Why won't anyone listen to Becky? She's got the measure of Casey but as pointed out, her own reputation was pretty rough before Hayley gave her the benefit of the doubt. But she's right about Casey and she had nothing to lose by telling Ashley. Kevin could see the signs clearly but others are going to take longer to realize but it won't take long, not with her parading around in Claire's dressing gown. Audrey's figured it out and didn't waste any time taking her turn. At least she was honest and wasn't judging him even if she did disapprove. I think that's because Audrey's probably been the other woman once or twice in her life. It seemed to make Ashley sit up and take notice, though and it looks like Casey is going to up the stakes.

Leave it to Cilla to be scrubbing floors in sheer stockings, heels and a plunging neckline. Did you note the old feller in the wheel chair that was enjoying the view of Cilla's bum? That used to be Charlie West! Now he's Frank Nicholls who used to be a loan shark from the sounds of it. Cilla's now got pound signs flashing in her eyes since she realized Frank has money. She and Frank are so great, trading insults and her giving him an eyeful of cleavage or thigh just for the fun of it and now he wants to hire her as his personal care worker.

Bill and Jason are going to make a bedroom in the garage for David so that Sarah and Jason can have their own room finally? You mean Beth has been sleeping in with the er.. happy couple, all this time? Poor David, though, it makes him feel like he's being pushed out even more than he thinks he already is. This isn't going to bode well for his attitude. And hello? People? Where was it that Richard Hillman first tried to kill the family? Just when you think David couldn't sink any lower... and I can't blame him for wigging out on this one. Sarah got her revenge though. She really made sure Mel knew that David had a crush, turned the screws, then turned away and smiled triumphantly. You know, Sarah's getting to be just as bad as David. Sensibly, Mel didn't go to the film though it wasn't very nice not to let David know. At least Darryl could have texted David. I don't understand why Sarah is so vindictive all of a sudden. They always bickered growing up but she was never like this. Maybe she's just had enough of his antics. And you know what? It'll be her that Gail blames if something happens, because David is the blue eyed boy isn't he? But you know what? if he goes off the rails now, i've a feeling Sarah's provoking him is going to be partly to blame and humiliation doesn't help either.

David is sure showing stalker characteristics, standing in the garden staring at Mel's house, rushing out when she walks past. At least she had the grace to talk to him and she didn't talk down to him either but David has to save face and told Amber he dumped Mel *and* said they were having sex. You just *know* that's going to come back and bite him on the backside and it took about 5 minutes for Amber to tell Darryl and for it to get back to Mel. More humiliation and he deserved it this time. See, if i was Jerry, i'd not have gone to Gail, i'd have shouted the odds at David himself. Still. Gail only grabbed him by the scruff and marched him off to apologize, in front of everyone, because Jerry gave her a hard time. Otherwise it would have been a stern word at home. She should have done more of the scruff thing over the years. overhearing his mother, sister and Gran talking about him. Could have have had any worse a day? No wonder he was feeling murderous towards his mother. Jason at least, seems to be uncomfortable that Sarah is taking such joy in David's misery and he's showing real concern for David and David is even throwing that back. That is one damaged lad and it's probably too late to get him the help he needs. Would he really find a gun and try to kill his mother? I don't think so but Jason isn't too sure.

Rita's back from wherever she had gone (seeing Mavis? i must have missed it if they said). Doreen was brilliant talking to Steve about the Ladyboys of Bangkok. Norris's new friends aren't going to stop nagging him trying to find out which lady he's grown fond of. They think it's Emily but I think it's probably Rita or possibly Doreen. It's quite nice to see Norris having real friends, though. Mel wants to be a copper. Ooh, Jerry finally asked Eileen out though she wasn't too interested at first but she soon changed her mind. I think they'd make a nice couple, actually.

Michelle has accepted Steve's apology even though he never did stop lying by saying he had no intentions of doing more with "Shania" who was the one that told Steve she was a he. You remember, it wasn't that way at all! steve says there won't be a next time. Oh come on. This is STEVE! But it's all back on again with Michelle and even her little revenge make me *yawn*. She's jumped right into the whole committment thing too, back together 5 minutes and she wants him to meet the parents.

Rosie is asking Carla for a full time job and insisting she's not going back to school. Sally is going to do her nut! This time, Sally isn't trying to live her life through her kids but you can't tell a 16 year old that education is important if they've got a few quid in their pocket. She's poncing around acting like what she thinks a grown up acts like and Sally really can see her future. And it isn't the ...er.. rosy one Rosie thinks it's going to be if she quits school now. But yes, she still knows how to get around her mother but her mother knows how to get around her. Make a financial contribution to the holiday? Heh.

I'm guessing Paul already has a crush on Leanne, Amber definitely has one on David, and Rosie is rapidly developing one on the lovely Liam (who can blame her!) which is probably what's behind her not wanting to go back to school, what do you think? Does Sally think that she can bribe Rosie with a greek holiday? Paul's really trying to ingratiate himself with Vera and Jack by making nice with Molly and shopping for Jack. Is he genuine or is he as slimy as his father? I'm betting on the latter. He saw that Jack keeps spare cash in a Charles and Di tin. Remember, Paul wants to help Leanne out with cash for the restaurant as an investor. He's ordering a fake driving license for himself but in the name of Jack Duckworth. This does not bode well. Leanne is still making cow eyes at Liam. Is there a thawing of his feelings toward her or is it just that he's putting the past behind them. I don't think he wants to get back with her but she wants him that's for sure.

Sunday Comments, May 11

Lines of the week:

• Doreen about Cilla's new job "As if getting old wasn't bad enough, you have to have *her* looking after you!"
  
• Kevin about Sally "Why would i fancy Carla Connor when i've got my own ray of sunshine right here" (huh? Sally?)
  
• Claire to Ashley "Marraiges break down over a lot less"
  
• Vernon "It wasn't a wasp, it was a bee. A queen" Steve "Were it wearing a crown?"
  
• Janice "Sally's knickers loose???? NooooO!!!" (what have i been saying all these years?)
  

Norris found several kindred spirits at the funeral, in the guises of Angela's ex-husbands, the ones she had after Norris. Why didn't anyone mention Derek, i wonder? Odd seeing Norris with actual male friends, isn't it? He usually hangs out with the rest of the other old women. Looks like Neville runs true to form about some men marrying women just like their mothers. The three of them have formed a club, which greatly amuses Doreen and Rita. The Ex-Husbands' Club. Well more power to them but what's this about Norris having feelings for someone who doesn't know he likes her? Would that be the stalwart Emily? Doreen? (Dislike and love are often two sides of the same coin) or is it the flame wigged Rita? I think his new mates are going to keep the pressure on him until he cracks.

Michelle and Steve are back together. No they aren't. Yes they are. And so it goes. over and over and over. No wonder Ryan was distinctly unimpressed with the news that they were a couple again. Steve of course, never fails to stuff things up by lying and keeping the truth from Michelle so that when she does find out that he would have jumped into bed with Shania, had she been a biological woman, she dumps him yet again. Or at least makes him squirm for a few days. Even then, Steve still didn't tell Michelle the whole truth until he was faced with her and her family backing her up. Thing is, he really did believe he and Michelle were over. This couple gets on my last wick. Lloyd and Jamie, however, were brilliant, keeping up the pressure and ribbing Steve within an inch of his little life about his escapades on holiday. I do wonder why Eileen didn't take her holiday snaps home rather than leave them in the office or in her purse in the office for days for Lloyd and Jamie to get their hands on.

Claire is really getting paranoid, accusing all and sundry of talking about her or laughing about her and even biting Hayley's head off and Casey is really throwing gas on the fire, isn't she? Curled up on the sofa like a snake about to strike. She's pushed Claire out of the house and away from Ashley again and this time, it looks like they didn't have to have sex in the conservatory. Red wine was involved so the end result is a done deal. She stayed overnight and everyone is going to know about it. I'm surprised Becky didn't deck Claire right there when she went at Hayley. Now tell me, I know that Josh is Ashley's son and not Claire's but wouldn't you take both children with you if you were going away? That little boy is going to grow up thinking Claire just doesn't want him around. And Becky, the street's Greek Chorus and general observer already can tell there's something not quite right about Casey, pointing out that Casey seems to be bezzy mates with one and then the other. Claire hasn't made a friend of Audrey, though. Her antennae are up and the red flags are waving. Ashley was pretty rude to her but then he was probably feeling pretty guilty. Claire didn't want Ashley to let Kevin in and then coughed so that Kevin would know she was in there, feet under the table.

David and Sarah are really winding each other up all the time these days. They never used to, not this bad anyway. Sarah told David his shiny shirt looked like a crisp packet so he got his own back by suggesting that Jason doesn't really want to marry her. Jack and Vera's 50th wedding anniversary is coming up, we are reminded. And there's Tyrone out of the country. Does'nt seem right, does it?

The thing is, everything Dev told Leanne was true and she could have done well to take his advice. He was willing to invest but he didn't seem to take it very seriously, calling it a "bit of fun". Can't really blame her for refusing his money in the end but therefore is probably going to make a disaster of this restaurant malarky in the long run. What on earth does she know about running a business let alone one that relies on good customer service? (Ok, but not *that* kind of customer service)

Ah, i see Carla was flat sitting for Michelle. Sally's so proud of Rosie, as she should be. But it certainly sounds like Rosie is leaning towards not going back to school. She's getting to like having cash in hand. Loved Rosie and Sally taking shots at each other, Sally making Rosie seem like a little girl and Rosie criticizing Sally's stitching. You gotta love Sally, though. Janice gets her digs in but Sally always has a great comeback, like her quoting that bit of poetry about a "wh*re" back to Janice. Nice one, Sal! Really, how could Claire have not realized the girls in the pub weren't talking about her? They were talking at the top of their voices and they were only stood 3 feet away. They've really reduced Dev to a dribbling idiot haven't they? What was all that crap about salad cream? Don't understand why Sarah trusts thick Jason to any wedding plans. It sounds like she's planning a posh wedding. With what money? She's not even a fully qualified hair dresser is she?

Cilla has a job as a cleaner but it's really a "hygiene specialist" in a nursing home. She's an odd one though. Doesn't mind displaying her boobs for all to see but doesn't wany anyone to know the actual bra size. David's crush on Mel progresses and Amber seems to have a crush on David, poor girl. I don't understand what the problem is with giving Mel an appointment. If she's got one, there must have been a free spot for it. Mel even seems to be taking pity on him. Really surprised that Tyrone would bother going to his mother's aid... in Spain, no less. Pretty thin excuse to cover for an actor's vacation innit? Tyrone isn't too keen leaving Molly to Paul's helpful hands is he? I'm very surprised Sarah would trust Jason with any important plans or calls to do with the wedding but then she's about as thick as he is.

Love in the later years

You know, one of the many things i like about Corrie is that they show characters of all ages. Yes, it seems like they focus on the younger set too much at times but they do still give the senior characters storylines, if not quite frequent enough for me. Soap operas are all about love stories at the heart. And of the heart. And American soaps tend to focus on under 30s for the big love triangles with a few older men hankering after younger women just for variety. That's another great thing about Corrie. There are love stories for all ages.

You don't just get to see the Rosie and Craig, Sarah and Jason or youngish couples like Steve and Michelle getting on with things, you get hot love triangles and stories from characters that are pushing forty (Sally and her men), or fifty (Liz McDonald or that randy Deirdre) and even the seniors get in on the act. Audrey is one of the ones that has been around the block so many times she's got a season pass and she's *still* doing it! She had Archie Shuttleworth and Fred Elliot both pining for her but didn't want to know until Fred decided he was going to marry Bev who was well into her 50s. Then, as we know, Audrey put pressure on Fred who then died of a heart attack in her hallway. Within months, she was snogging Bill Webster behind the bike shed!

Ken Barlow was the master of lady-killers and even recently remarried his love Deirdre who's no slouch in the romance stakes herself as she hits menopause. During a bad patch, he landed on the settee of old flame and mother of his child and by the end of that sojourn, had her chatting him up as well though god knows why. Liz might not be "senior" in age but she's definitely middle aged and is always shown as being a very sexual hot blooded woman.

Blanche still has an ember or two to be fanned. She was after Archie and then had another fella that Tracy took off her. Then there's Doreen Fenwick, Rita's friend. That one is hot for anything in trousers and she's got to be 75 if she's a day. Talk about a randy granny! Emily is probably the only senior that hasn't had a date since 1993 or thereabouts but even then, she was over 60! Vera Duckworth was always chasing (or dragging) Jack up them stairs!

I think my favourite senior's love story, though, was Betty Turpin finding the man she had a mad fling with on VE day and marrying her Billy in 1996. Awww!

Randy grannies and grandpas of the future? I reckon Sally will give any of them a run for their money though i suspect Gail may be off men for a little while longer. Being married to a killer tends to cool your heels pretty quickly and add to that Phil the foot doctor who she first thought was sending her cards from her dead husband. He wasn't, but he was pretty quick to temper and pushed her son around. You can't have that. Still, i reckon Gail will have love in her life sooner or later. Eileen goes through men, too, and all of them rotters. It looked like Dev Alahan, smooth womanizer would have been running with the wolves well into his grey haired days but he's been in cold storage since the breakup with Sunita. The old Devster charm just doesn't seem to be working anymore but I don't think we can count him out just yet.

As for the younger set? I'm betting senior rumpy pumpy participants will include Sarah Platt, Leanne Battersby and Rosie Webster. Sarah's been through a lot of blokes at her tender age. In Canada, she's about to marry Jason and she's not 20 yet is she? Or if she is, it's only just. Leanne beats her on the youngest bride stakes though. Leanne could give Sally a run for her money. She's certainly started off on the wrong stiletto even putting her prostitute phase aside. She and Nick married when she was 16, he 17. Then, more recently, shagging your fiance's father really does tend to give you a reputation. Rosie's skirts are getting shorter and her heels are getting higher and she's Sally Webster's daughter. She started young with Craig and now that she's over her puppy love phase, i think the men of Weatherfield had better watch out.