Sunday Comments, May 24

Lines of the week:

• Natasha "You don't need to speak lingo in a bar, you just raise your glass and they bring you another"
  
• Audrey "I'm getting up to here with all this, you know that" Bill "The whole flamin world knows it"
  
• Tina to Ted "New boyfriend?" Ted "Old faghag i haven't seen for ages" (can they say that on telly???)
  
• Nina to Dev "I'm not going to hold a gun to your head" (no, just be relentless until you give in)
  
• Audrey "I look nothing like Camilla Parker Bowles" (Yes you do)
  
• Bill about Audrey "She led Alf a merry dance for years and he was too grateful to say owt"
  

Well that's me back from my holidays and trying to catchup on everything. The laundry pile is shrinking and the Corrie episodes are getting watched. I'm a bit confused with my timelines, though, trying to watch what i missed, watching this week's shows and having seen some UK Corrie while i was away! So to recap, Ken's in a self indulgent crisis but Blanche thinks he's gone gay (and that has to have been one of the funniest scenes i've ever seen on Corrie!)! Steve and Michelle are off though i can't say i blame her for that. Michelle sure has a nerve tossing Steve out of his own pub, though. And if Steve is staying at Lloyd's, where's Vernon staying? Probably Roy's flat while he's away. Tyrone and Molly got engaged!!! Wasn't that the best proposal ever? Nice juxtaposition against all the other broken couples too. Molly's Auntie Pam is on the scene. I like her! Remember the name "Whispering Jeff". Dev has met a new friend. Not sure i entirely trust him. His wife is an ex Bollywood star and a real man eater from the looks of it. John Stape is back! This can only mean trouble. More trouble too, for Harry and Liz and Clarissa, who isn't going to let Harry go easily from the look of it.

Looks like Clarissa wears the pants, doesn't she? I think she must have used the divorce as a way of winding Harry up but didn't really mean it. Pretty expensive joke. She and Liz are prety well matched in the bitch department stakes. And to tell you the truth, i don't think Clarissa is any more classy than Liz is or isn't. Now, Harry didn't actually go to the solicitor to cancel the divorce. Is he leading her on or is he playing games? I think he wants to play Liz and Clarissa off against each other, the thrill of the chase seems to be attracting him at the moment rather than the thrill of the known.

I really fail to believe that Lloyd and Steve would take their taxi maintenance contract away from Kevin, i really do. Of course Jimmy can afford to do it 20% cheaper, Tony's probably paying the difference. Jimmy is the fella that's married to Jane Danson (Leanne) in real life. Tony's an expert in playing off Sally and Rosie against Kevin, too, knowing how ambitious Sally is for Kevin and for herself. He's now waving fancy garages in her face and Kevin's too stubborn to do anything to better his own situation, as always. I'm on Kevin's side, don't get me wrong. Tony is bullying him and Kevin is happy where he is. The trouble is, Sally has never been happy where she is.

I see Teresa is still in residence and scamming money off Jerry whenever she can but he's still showing her ads for flats and she's resisting with every inch of her being, including grinding up extra pills and putting them in Jerry's food. She figures if he's still sick, she can stay and look after him.

Dev is over the moon and very, very star struck and Nina is definitely playing on that. Sounds to me like she isn't happy about being an "ex" Bollywood star and takes her admirers where she can get them. And doesn't take no for an answer. She pushes her young friend at Dev and then comes on to him in the kitchen. I bet she does that all the time and her husband puts up with it. Is Dev starstruck or just stupid? (Don't answer that). And Dev is kickstarting his life by buying one of Tony's posh flats which makes Amber very happy. No wonder Lisa got tired of Dev, He never shut up about Prem and Nina and he seemed intent on making her bored out of her mind so she'd dump him. Now remember the scene where Nina drives up in the flash car? They had to put sunglasses and a scarf over her head to disguise her for driving. See, the actress herself can't drive so they used the man who owned the car as the driver.

Oh dear. David's getting jealous again and spying on Tina's email. And those who spy (eavesdrop) never hear anything good about themselves and he found that out. He figures she wants him to be spontaneous and so he does it. And where did it get him? Well in a candle lit bath getting very lucky the first time around. He was quite sweet really. You almost forget he's a bit of a psycho.

Audrey didnt' get the fancy French getaway she wanted. She got down in the cheap seats with Janice and then fell out with everyone. Sounds like Audrey's worst nightmare, too bad we didn't get to see the whole weekend! I think it would be quite funny! What did Audrey think was going to happen going away with Janice for the weekend? The crash sure sobered up the partiers. They couldn't have been too far from Manchester when they had the accident. And that was the end of Bill and Audrey. He's going to be bunking in with Kev so the house is going to be filled to the rafters again. She says she didn't really miss Bill at all the day after, she may be exaggerating a bit but really, they weren't that well suited were they? Bill misses her though but wants the real Audrey back. Um, it sounds to me like he always had the real Audrey but she pretended to be something she wasn't for him. And she's still looking for her soul mate. Alfie wasn't it though she loved him and she thinks it's probably too late. Did she have her soulmate and let him go? Doubt it. She'd have known he was her soul mate.