Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Some Corrie New Year's Resolutions

(This post was originally posted by Graeme N on the Coronation Street Blog in December 2014.)

I'd like to start by saying I hope all our loyal Coronation Street Blog readers had a wonderful Christmas. I don't know about you but I was left seriously underwhelmed by the festive editions of Corrie this year. They just lacked that traditional Christmas magic.

However, I've decided to start the new year afresh. The run up to new year always leads to many of us making resolutions for the year ahead, setting out our hopes, dreams and aspirations. So here are my Corrie new year resolutions for 2015.

First of all, I must try not to launch into a verbal tirade every time either Liz or Michelle appear on screen and criticise, deride or treat the lovely Steve in an altogether harsh and unfair manner. This will be a tough habit to crack, especially if Michelle is pouting with her arms folded like daggers.

I must give the Nazir family a chance. Even if it is downright preposterous that they have moved into that house in Coronation Street. Even if they have no chemistry as a family and do not work as individual characters.

I must work hard to accept that no matter how much I try I will never, ever like Sophie Webster, the most ungrateful, unpleasant, whinging Christian in the history of prime time television.

I must not cringe every time Andrea appears or jumps onto Lloyd's lap in the cab office. Which is practically every time she appears.

I must live in hope that when Owen and Katy's exits finally come about they will be both short and painless for the viewers. In the meantime, one of my resolutions is to hit the mute button every time either appears on my television set.

I must not scream and shout at each and every one of Corrie's totally rubbish romantic pairings. Nick and Erica sounded like fun but made me shudder. As did Tony and Tracy (make me shudder that is, not sound like fun). And Leanne and Kal don't provoke a strong enough reaction to even warrant a shudder. Can Sean's budding romance with his vicar please not be cringeworthy? Sean seriously needs to grow up, act his age and be seen to have some form of character development.

I resolve not to make a face worthy of a Gogglebox close up every time any of the following things happen: Tracy says something horrible; Dev over-acts; Sharif attempts to act; Michael acts like a wimp; Izzy over-reacts; Maria simpers; Simon is treated like he's five years old when in actual fact he's started to shave; Leanne either frowns or stomps; Nick treats his mother like dirt; David calls his mother "Gail"; Rita plays it all "sweet old lady" or Ken's kimono represents the best attempt at Corrie comedy.

I hope and pray that 2015 will see the Platts and the Wind-strongs rested, allowing other characters to have a look in. Let's hope this new year sees Steph and Luke flourish, Jason and Eva get a proper storyline, Julie get her cheery, 1950s self, perched pertly behind Dev's counter (ahem), Roy find some happiness (not in the form of Mary), Audrey take centre stage in a storyline that does not involve a conman or a cross dresser, Rita make reference to the fact she's still married to Dennis and plenty more of Sally and Tim. 

And please, please, please can Deirdre return soon, ready to get stuck into her stuffed marrow once again?

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