Saturday, 12 July 2014

My Corrie wish list for the Powers That Be

(This post was originally posted by Graeme N on the Coronation Street Blog in July 2014.)

It's time once again for me to blog-rant about what I'd really like to see in Coronation Street that isn't there right now and isn't likely to be seen for some time (if ever)! So here we go...

1. Give Norris Cole a storyline. Malcolm Hebden hasn't had anything significant to do in years apart from hate Dennis and buy Emily's house. Why haven't we seen more stuff about Norris the home owner at number 3? Even Mary doesn't have much to do with him these days. Malcolm Hebden is a great Corrie actor capable of so much more than he's currently being given.

2. Give Audrey Roberts a storyline. It has been far too quiet a year for our Audrey and Sue Nicholls' talents are being seriously wasted. All she does these days is tut at Kylie/David/Gail or act as a shoulder for wimpering crimper Maria to cry on. She deserves something strong and stand-alone for her to get her acting teeth into. I know Sue Nicholls has been at Corrie for many years but I still reckon they are lucky to have her.

3. PLEASE do not let Deirdre regress once Ken arrives back from Canada. Anne Kirkbride has been a delight since Kenneth disappeared off to look after Adam. Deirdre is funny again. Deirdre has a backbone again. All she needs is a storyline again and I'll be happy.

4. Moving on from this, why don't we see Deirdre and Liz together more often? They have been pals since Deirdre had a perm for pete's sake! Much more should be made of this.

5. I need Owen and Gary to build an extension to the Corrie cupboard so the entire Armstrong-Windass clan can cram into it for the foreseeable. It feels like they haven't been off our screens for about 25 years. As much as I like Anna and Gary, I need a breather from the constant angst and that horrible living room.

6. Having said that, in about a year's time I'd love Pat Phelan to return and get what he deserves for what he did to poor Anna. He really does deserve a suitably horrid send off that one. And his gob on a stick of a wife, the delightful Val.

7. I still think Corrie needs another older character. Stephanie Cole is sorely missed as Roy's mum Sylvia. Either cast Lynda Baron as a loveable old rogue or bring back Barbara Young as Doreen Fenwick and let's see Rita have some fun again.

8. Steve needs to ditch Michelle. I'll keep saying this until it actually happens. And when I mean ditch her I mean actually stick her in his cab and drive her somewhere outside the Weatherfield boundary that has loads of ditches, and then stick her in one. End of.

9. I did like Andrea but I don't now. Lloyd deserves better. They should've kept Jenna and lost Andrea instead.

10. Roy needs something to do and by that Corrie Powers That Be, I do not mean a "love interest" or some kind of rancid bedhopping activity. Before Hayley's exit storyline we learned a little more about Roy's family. Why can't we meet one or two of them? There is so much potential in Roy and it's time to explore his background.

11. Can Sophie Webster go to Devon on a permanent basis please? And can Debbie Webster take her place?

12. Before Philip Lowrie leaves (again) - is he leaving? Who knows. Anyway, can we PLEASE have some decent references to his glorious mam, Elsie. So much potential there to keep us longtime viewers happy and content and most of it has been squandered for the sake of Tina's gob and Peter's endless desire to drop his kecks. Dennis needs to do some serious reminiscing about Elsie, Linda, Ena, Annie et al before he leaves us.

13. Nick Tilsley needs to stop having these excruciating episodes. Enough already. The whole storyline needs to come to an end. And while we're at it can someone give Kal a personality injection?

14. Sean needs to shift it out of Eileen's house. No progression at all for this character in over ten years. Why can't he at least move in with Julie or something once Marcus goes? Oh, and is there any chance Todd can disappear down a crack in the pavement? I loathe him and his sneaky snakey eyes.

15. Maria should stay in Cyprus.

16. KIRK AND BETH SHOULD GET MARRIED. I won't lay down subtle hints like this again.

17. Do something interesting with Mary or ditch her. I'd rather she was kept on to be honest but I've never known a character float about without roots like her for as long as she has. She dips into other lives and stories but foundations are never properly laid. We need more from her than the occasional game of chess or dotty aside to some other character weighed down by a proper storyline.

18. Invest in Eva and Jason. Eva is the only good thing to come out of the Price saga. She isn't just good, she is fanastic. And she is great with Jason. Something funny and touching for this pair please.

19. Please do not reduce Gail to cleaning toilets in the gym as well as the Bistro. Cleaning the Bistro lavs in her tabard was bad enough, but sluicing out the bogs in that laughable gym is something I wouldn't even see fit for Tracy Barlow. Give her a bit of self respect.

20. Now that Stella is a barely mentioned memory, can we please have a wee visit from Leanne's proper-not-really-me-mam - the gloriously gobby, eternally fleece-clad, Janice? The relationship between Leanne and Janice was always more grounded and believable than anything St Ella could muster.

21. Finally - and I know this isn't likely....could we please have Mavis back, if only for a couple of episodes? Thelma Barlow is one of my absolute favourites as dithering Mavis and those Kabin scenes with Rita are an endless source of joy.

Catching up with our Mave would make my year.

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