Wednesday, 12 October 2016

Too much misery? Here's some joy from the wonderful Blanche Hunt.

(This post was originally posted by Ruth Owen on the Coronation Street Blog in September 2016, reposted with permission.)

Of late, on our favourite street there has been very little cause to laugh. We have Phelan cheating anyone who has a pulse, beautiful, faithful Ozzie on his way to the Rainbow Bridge and relationships falling apart.  The usually cheerful, vivacious and feisty Beth has had much to bear and is distraught with neither Craig nor Kirk very pleased with her.

David is drowning in grief and has just heard that Kylie's murderer may be charged with manslaughter only, thus receiving a much reduced sentence than he would for murder. Todd's life could be in danger if serious villain Vinny discovers what he's up to. Caz is still hanging around and clearly developing feelings for Maria, so that will end in tears. There is the affair of seven years standing between Sharif and Sonia and upcoming heartbreak for Yasmeen. Alex, Cathy and Roy have had their problems, with Cathy struggling to accept Alex's paternity. Alya has got rid of Sinead and she is now bribing her grandfather to  keep quiet about the Sonia affair.

So where is the fun? The truth is that we are pretty bereft of any levity.

In desperation who else to turn to other than Blanche Hunt to provide us with some much needed comedy. Delivered with real credibility and great aplomb, here are just a few of the comments Blanche made :-

'You're going to have to learn to take pleasure in the misfortunes of others, Ken, or you're going to have a very miserable old age.'

'Good looks are a curse Deirdre. You and Kenneth should count yourselves lucky.'

'Skirt no bigger than a belt, too much eyeliner and roots as dark as her soul. Of Liz McDonald

'Like Postman Pat do you? So long as you remember it's a work of fiction. 'Early in the morning, just as day is dawning.' Your real Postman Pat rolls up around noon wearing a pair of shorts and his breakfast. And if he's not chucking elastic bands around like confetti, he'll be rifling through your birthday cards for ready cash or leaving your valuables out on the step.'

And there's more:-

'Nowt but propaganda is this! And as for Mrs. Goggins, she'd be cowering behind three inch thick glass with a baseball bat under the counter. That's assuming her post office hasn't been shut down of course.

All this addressed to Simon Barlow as a young child.

'An alcoholic and a prostitute open a bar... sounds like the beginning of a joke.'

On discovering that Peter and Leanne are planning to open a bar.

You've married foreign once Deirdre. You could've done it again and got a shop out of it,'

Following Deirdre's fling with Dev.

These timeless words from the irreplaceable and incomparable Blanche Hunt.

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