Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Coffee and croissants on the balcony of shame

(This post was originally posted by Graeme N on the Coronation Street Blog in May 2014.)

So what do we all think of Corrie's special week? What are we calling it anyway? Murder Week? Tina Week? I'm calling it Balcony Week. I'm not sure what planet Rob is on if he thinks anyone in their right mind would take coffee and croissants out on that terrace of shame.

I guess though that Tina isn't exactly in her right mind. Gobby she may be, but she wasn't exactly putting the gob into gear the other evening. She had plenty of chances to shut up and ship out but on she went, gob, gob, gob until Rob finally snapped. To be honest I don't blame him. I'd already whacked her hard several times from my armchair and popped off to make a cup of tea. 

I think Corrie has done well this week. The Peter-Carla-Tina storyline has been dragging on longer than the when will Len Fairclough shave that tash off saga of 1970. It has taken us since CHRISTMAS to get to this denouement and all I came away with the other night was the complete and utter wonderment that old Tina could pick herself up without so much as a cobble imprint on her doll-like face. After all her cover story cheek bones had supposedly just smacked into Victoria Street faster than it takes Michelle to fold her arms and pout. 

I do think this storyline is giving Michelle Keegan the send off she deserves. She's done well during her time on Corrie and I hope she advances her career on the back of this. As much as I like Chris Gascoyne, I'm now heartily sick of Peter's snivelling, pathetic, hangdog look. If he ends up in The Big House with Jimbo McDonald, I hope Jim immediately bypasses "Catch yourself on" and goes straight for the jugular.

Carla, meanwhile, has been at the centre of so many dark, sinister, cadaver-strewn plots she'd make an excellent Valeria if they ever remake Carry On Screaming. I hope she escapes the cells this time as I love Alison King and hope she's around for a few more years. I'd love to see Carla ditch Peter and find some happiness for a change. I also can't help wishing the Powers That Be had let her keep her baby. Carla the Mother would have taken the character in an interesting new direction.

So I guess we must now come to Rob and Tracy. Tracy is coming out of this well at the moment. Old Arms-Folded behind the Rovers bar is making Tracy seem like the Denise Robertson of Weatherfield in comparison. Rob meanwhile is the expendable cast member here. As Corrie is still a moral programme *dangling by a thread here*, the truth must out eventually and Rob will be sent down - either to prison or plunging from the viaduct. I do hope we don't have to wait until next Christmas for this to happen.

What I'm really not looking forward to is Michelle finding out Steve knew about Peter's affair. We know she will and we know she's going to dump him, treating him like something she's stepped in (again). This is deeply regrettable. The moral high ground has never been so unappealing. For characters to be believable and likeable they need to have flaws. Unfortunately Michelle is always right so she has no flaws. Apart from the very obvious one, that is. She's a terrific pain in the ginnel. 

Personally, I'd like to pitch to ITV that the next big post-watershed Corrie week sees a mysterious Scottish blogger batter Michelle to death with a crate of Stallion Ale. 

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